Question re: self settling

[mummyoliveoil]

Hi Mummies - I don't often post on here but I do read lots and use all the helpful tips people post on here :)

My question is with regards to self settling - my DD is 4 months (18 weeks) and self settles really well - it was a slow progress from 10 weeks old (just gentle techniques) and then when she was 15 weeks I decided to do a little bit of CIO - but using pick up / put down method - as she was waking 6-8 times per night and BF'ing back to sleep. It went really well as I discovered she doesn't actually cry! She might cry for 1-2 mins (max) and then she just shouts a little and moans... the problem is she can moan for up to 2 hours! So for example if she feeds at 7pm... and then at 12md... if she wakes before 4am I will leave her to self settle and she can sometime be awake just moaning away to herself for anything from 10min to 2 hours! She's not crying... and it goes quiet for ages (i'm sat out on the sofa) and just as i think she must have nodded off (quiet for over 5 mins) and then she'll moan again for a couple of minutes... then quiet again for 5 minutes and so on. I know she's clean nappy etc... and certain if she was hungry she'd cry!! She has done this today too... i put her down for nap and she always wakes after 45 min and takes about 10-15 mins to go back off and have another 45 min....... but today she woke after 45 min and just talked to herself for an hour and half and then went back off??
Is she ok doing this? Is it normal? I feel cruel leaving her but she'd not crying at all. Will this time get shorter? She's only feeding once or twice overnight now but when she wakes at 2am and only 2 hours since last feed it's so frustrating being awake for 1-2 hours waiting for her to go back to sleep, lol and i'm shattered in the morning.

For info' - she's in her own cot by my bed and I swaddle her for naps and bedtime. We have a nap routine and a bed time routine which i always follow every evening. She goes to bed at 7pm and is usally up for 6am. She wakes twice per night but never at the same time each night they are always random times.. if it's been less than 3.5 - 4 hours i leave her to moan otherwise i just feed her.

Thanks for taking time to read my post - any comments or suggestions welcome. Thank you :)

Sorry this isn't actually helpful (I only have a 7 week old) but do you mind explaining what you did from 10 week onwards for the self settling? What's COI? I'm going to be there soon so was wondering. Again sorry I can't help with where you go from here but good luck!

Meant CIO!

CIO = cry it out. I just put her down awake and gave her the chance to fall asleep - in the early days if she didn't and cried i'd pick her up and settle her to sleep and then try again next time. I just kept trying and it was slow progress but we got there in the end... i let her moan / shout but not cry. Then when she got a bit older i'd let her cry for 1-2 mins max but to be honest as i've said in my post she rarely does cry! She will just moan or talk herself to sleep... usually taking 15-20 mins but in the night it can be 1-2 hours! I also read the no cry sleep solution but the suggestions and used some of the information from there. Oh and had a good solid bedtime routine from about 8 weeks. It's been a real gradual process to be honest but seems to be working ok so far. I hope that answers your question. :)

I dont think you need to be awake just because your baby is. dd2 is 5monyhs and has been awake on and off since 6 ish at the end of our bed
I'm just sleeping over it - she is making her talking noises not crying. for that matter dd1 is now awake in her cot next door and waiting for me but playing with her teddy too.

I am not sure that I'd have left them that long in the day awake as it sounds like she wasn't tired then had her next nap rather than continuation of the first. dd2 is normally only awake an hour or an hour and a half before sleeps.

ps it doesn't sound like you did use cry it out you used pupd. CIO is inflammatory as it can be so harsh so maybe if you didnt use it consider your language so people dont slam you unnecessarily!

hope that is some help!

It does thanks although at the moment my baby cries lots! I have to get her to sleep with bf and ease her into her bed which is fine but am wondering if I should be making efforts to move towards self soothing.

I don't think you've done cry it out (which, as I understand it, shouldn't be done before 6months). I think you've done more of a baby whisperer type pick up, put down, which is what I've done with my 22week old.
She's been in her own room since she out grew the Moses basket (no room for cot). The baby monitor wakes me if she needs me. When we've been to visit people & she's been in a travel cot next to me I've hardly slept due to her happy chatter & been surprised at how awake she was! I don't think you need to be awake just cos she is. If she needs you, she'll tell you.

Hi

Mines a similar age and self settles most naps ans bedtime - I also often find him already awake when I get up on the mornings either gurgling to himself or just led awake - I figure if he wanted or needed me he would shout as does when hungry, or wet.

No idea if it's ok but guess everyone does it and it's teaching them to be ok on their own for a while and get back to sleep.

Thank you for your replies ladies :) xx