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Sleep

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Original poster

Straw poll: when did you first feel able to leave DC to be put to bed by a babysitter?

33 replies

KikiShack · 23/01/2014 21:27

I'm interested in exactly that- at what age were you happy enough with DC's sleep that you could have a baby sitter / trusted friend over and leave an awake DC with them at say 6.30pm for a cuddle, change If necessary, quick bottle of f/ebm then into the cot and close the door and be secure in the knowledge DC would drift off.
I'm not asking when you actually did this, whether you would feel ok having a night out away from baby, whether you'd take baby out with you to a restaurant etc. I am only interested in at what age DC's sleep was at a stage at which you could leave them as described above.
This is for interest to help my understanding of my situation vs a friend's. I'd like to know which of us has the more 'normal' baby and which of us it's super lucky or very unlucky!
Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences with me xx

OP posts:

ExitPursuedTheRoyalPrude · 23/01/2014 21:28

My DD is 14 ........

Sid77 · 24/01/2014 03:15

We left DS1 with grandparents while we went to a wedding for afternoon/evening when he was 13 months. Wouldn't have left him with anyone else though as he wouldn't have gone to sleep. In think he would now with someone he knows really well and he's 3.3. Some are fine and some need to really trust the person they're left with I think.

sarahandemily · 24/01/2014 03:32

My dd is nearly 4 and I wouldn't be able to do this. Maybe with her grandma who she sees a lot but it would require a big build up plus bribery.

Bearandcub · 24/01/2014 03:34

In answer to your OP: never.

My DC are no l

Bearandcub · 24/01/2014 03:34

No l

Bearandcub · 24/01/2014 03:37

Fucking phone!!!

DSs are terrible sleepers, the most difficult part being settling so I have never been able to give them a bottle, put them to bed then they drift off to sleep. The thought of someone else doing it is like a fairytale.

There are also no longer babies.

emmyloo2 · 24/01/2014 03:38

Hmmm...my DS - I think maybe 9-12 months? Can't really remember. Would have been our nanny I think. He is now 3.3 and we often leave him with my parents and they put him to bed (they come around to our house). He hasn't yet stayed there over night but we will do that soon.

My DD - never. She is 8 months. I always put her to sleep first and then go out. That said, I would feel quite comfortable having our nanny or my parents put her to sleep. She just goes into her cot, we say good night and she goes to sleep. She is (touch wood) much easier than my DS.

I think we will be more adventurous with my daughter than we were with my DS. Mainly she is our second and we are more confident but she is also a little easier than my son. So she may go and stay at the grandparents way earlier than he has.

That said, I have friends who left their 6 month old for a week with grandparents while they went on holiday to Thailand. I was just baffled as to how their child could be so easy that they could do that. There is no way we could have done that. Even now we couldn't leave our 3 year old with grandparents for a week! I think they are super lucky!

Original poster

KikiShack · 24/01/2014 10:24

interesting responses so far, thanks. You've replied roughly as I'd expect. My DD is 15 weeks and I feel a million years away from her sleep being ready for me to leave her. l still feed her to sleep, she wakes often after 10/20/40 mins. I'd like a night out with DP but it feels a couple of months away at least.
My friend first left DS at 5 weeks I think, he was happy to be put in his cot with his glowworm and sleep until they got back at 11 and gave him a dream feed.
I was sure this was unusual rather than the norm, just wanted to check!!

OP posts:

TodayIsAGoodDay · 24/01/2014 13:30

OP, is your friend's baby bf or ff? as I have found that makes quite a difference.

Disclaimer: I am not suggesting one method is better or easier etc etc, nor do I want to start a bf vs ff war. I'm just speaking from my own, and my friends' experiences. Phew!

In answer to your question: we haven't, yet. But given that her grandparents have been able to put her down for a nap since she was 11 months old, then my answer would be around 11 months.

Original poster

KikiShack · 24/01/2014 15:37

Hi today very astute, you are correct!! My friend's baby was mixed feed, always from a bottle, whereas I am EBF my little bottle refuser.
Even so I would guess that having sleep sorted enough to leave DC with a babysitter (she left him with me at about 3 months, and had done so with another friend at least once before that) at such a young age seems very unusual, ff or otherwise.
Don't get me wrong, I'm jealous I can't leave DD with her dad, never mind anyone else! And I don't disapprove at all, I wish we could have a night out. I just wanted a little sense check whether we are useless to not be near this stage yet at 15wks, or if as it seems we are entirely average!

OP posts:

HairyPorter · 24/01/2014 15:39

Ds was pfb and first night out was 6m. Dd was left at 3w for first night out! Both ebf....

Thegreatunslept · 24/01/2014 15:45

My ds 8months stayed overnight at my dsis's on Saturday she collected him at 3.30pm and returned him at 12.30 pm on Sunday.
That was his 5th sleepover.
He has been with my dm twice my dsis twice and my best friend once.
My dsis said she had to get ds in the afternoon cos he goes to bed around 7 and they needed to have time together before bed!

Artandco · 24/01/2014 15:52

10 weeks. Both breastfed. Would leave an expressed bottle

However I wouldn't expect them to put baby in bed and close door, was quite happy for them to just cuddle baby on sofa / play with them/ baby asleep on them or whatever was easiest.

Would feed baby at say 7pm, leave and be back by 10pm latest. So only 3 hours max, usually 2. Sometimes I had a work meeting and dh working late, other times we went to cinema, show etc. to restaurants we generally just took them with us and still do

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 24/01/2014 15:55

15 weeks?! That's tiny, don't worry!

Onlyconnect · 24/01/2014 15:57

I had to do it at six months with DD1 because of work. I hated it at the time but in retrospect I'm glad of it because she is completely happy with babysitters at whatever time. I now have a DS who is 5 months old and he has already been put to bed by a babysitter.

EducatingNora · 24/01/2014 15:59

6 years old. Maybe 5? (Sorry!)

BackforGood · 24/01/2014 16:02

Few weeks old. Well, at that age were hardly in a routine of 'going to bed' as they get into when they get older / become toddlers. Just a case of someone looking after them, didn't matter if it were day or evening really.
Never had any problem leaving mine though not that we went out much, but when we did.

Ragwort · 24/01/2014 16:06

7 days - my DS was breast fed but I was only going 10 mins away and we left him with my mother with instructions to call us if he needed feeding - she was happy to cuddle him and put him in his moses basket & we had a lovely evening - he didn't wake for a feed .

However I'll never forget a 'friend' of mine who met me at the function we went to who was absolutely horrified that I could leave my new born - why are women so judgemental towards each other ?

cookielove · 24/01/2014 16:09

I have been baby sitting for the same family for the last 6 years, there oldest child i have been putting to bed since he was 2 and he is now 6 and there youngest i have been putting to bed since she was a newborn. I think what works for one family may not work for another

cookielove · 24/01/2014 16:12

Oooh and i forgot the youngest is now 3 almost 4.

I should say there have been some difficult times, throughout the years i think it helps the kids have grown up with me there and they also go and have gone to the nursery i work in!

feesh · 24/01/2014 16:16

My twins were great sleepers at 15 weeks, in bed by 6pm after a bottle and then had a dream feed at about 11pm. We did very rarely go out after their bedtime and come back before the dream feed and leave them with a sitter. But I would never have wanted anyone else to do their bedtime routine, and I still wouldn't now at 14 months. I think they'd get upset and not go to sleep. I could be wrong though, but I think they will be in primary school before I allow it to happen.

ShoeSmacking · 24/01/2014 16:25

DS is a pretty bad sleeper, although much better now. We've left him for bedtime with SIL (who's wonderful with him, spends lots of time with him and who he knows well) for bed and bath from fairly young (probably less than a year), but knowing he might not go down and that she was happy to hang out with him and rock him or whatever.

We got friends to do it for the first time when he was about two. He's 2.8 now and I'd let ccertain friends or SIL do it still but only them on the basis that I also know they'd be understanding if he found it too stressful. A few months ago my friend's husband (DS knows her and him both very well and loves them) and while he didn't put DS to bed, he did have to go up to give him a cuddle twice. From what we can tell, friend thoroughly enjoyed the cuddle and DS happily drifted off on his chest both times!

RoganJosh · 24/01/2014 16:30

Our smallest is nearly two and only just at the point where he can be left for the evening once I've put him to sleep.
Eldest is 5 and I would just be ok with idea of someone else putting her to bed.

You do what feels right for you. Middle one used to sleep on me all evening till he was eight months. I felt momentarily pissed off or claustrophobic when I saw other people with babies going out,,but they're only tiny for a short time.

MrsPear · 24/01/2014 16:34

Ds2 I could leave now probably and he is one but ds1 age four is a nightmare. We leave after he is asleep. He woke the other night when I popped out to give a birthday card and bil told him I was in loo and to go back to sleep as it was not fair to mummy to bother me in the loo. I was most surprised to find out it worked!

BackforGood · 24/01/2014 16:37

Am amazed at the number who haven't done this and their child(ren) is/are at school
My dc used to LOVE having a babysitter come round - someone who was just itching to spend time with them / play with them / read to them etc. They knew it was far easier to get extra stories etc from a babysitter than from us.

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