9 weeks - is this normal?!

[Bunnymummy82]

I've posted before about our baby being unable to stay asleep anywhere other than on one of us but it's really wearing us down. I'm co sleeping which I don't like and means my husband sleeps in the spare room which I hate. The baby won't stay in her Moses basket for more than 15 mins and even then only if she is dead to the world asleep. No way would she actually to to sleep herself in it. And in the day I have to fight to get her any sleep; eg today I was out with her in her pram for nearly 4 hours walking and I think she got two 45 minute stretches. The sling is the only place she will def sleep but it's killing my back to walk for hours with her like that! Anyway I just wanted to see if this was normal and whether I should just toughen up and let her cry as people keep telling me to do. Not sure how much more of this we can take, I can only have a non whispered conversation with my husband in his lunch break or on a weekend as one of us is always holding the baby, it's ridiculous!! Thanks for listening!

It's quite normal, and I have same aged DS with the same issue... I've actually posted about it in "Will he ever sleep in his crib?" Unfortunately I cannot help as I'm on a quest for solution myself, but I thought I'd let you know you are not alone!

This may sound silly but have you tried the white noise music it simulates being in the womb or a heart beat music or when she's in her Moses basket can you put something that has your smell on it which may trick her that your there. Sounds like she just wants to be close to you and doesn't want to sleep for fear that your not close my lil girl use to be the same and she is 13 months now and sleeps in her cot herself

Two 45 minute sleeps in 4 hours sounds good and about right - that's one nap every two hours and 45 mins is one complete sleep cycle, so that's not unusual (in fact v normal at only 9 weeks) to wake after one cycle, especially during the daytime.

As for the Moses basket - also normal! Have you tried waiting until she is in the deep sleep phase of her sleep cycle before putting her in there (about 20 mins - their breathing goes v quiet). That might help???

I also second the suggestion of white noise, that means you can hold conversations etc while she sleeps as the noise of speaking isn't suddenly shattering the peace.

For daytime naps, can you rock her to sleep in the buggy indoors and then you have your hands free while she sleeps? (Also means that if she stirs you can try rocking a bit more and see if she will go back to sleep - easier to get them to resettle in the buggy than in the Moses basket I find.

Don't leave her to cry if you don't want to - follow your instincts and ignore the advice givers if you disagree with their advice. It's not okay to leave a baby (or older child) unattended to get very distressed. However, don't be too hard on yourselves either. If she is crying it is okay to leave her somewhere safe for a minute or two if you are at the end of your tether and need to step into the next room for a few deeps breaths. There's also a huge difference between leaving a baby to scream alone and cuddling her in her basket/rockking her in her buggy while trying to encourage her to go to sleep. Also bear in mind that some babies do moan a bit sort of as part of their wind down to sleep - different from a distressed cry.

One thing that can be really important though (depending on the baby's personality) is consistency. Maybe try doing exactly the same thing for each nap time/bedtime at the same times of day for a week and see if that gently teaches her that when you do x it is time for a nap. She won't get it immediately and it doesn't work for every baby it's surely worth a try?

It feels like it will go on for ever at this stage, especially when you are half dead from sleep derivation, but I promise it will get better in time. Not many 9 week olds can settle themselves to sleep so she really is very normal and she will learn in time I promise. Do whatever works for now and if necessary you can use some sleep training later when she is a bit older and more able to cope with it. I wish you lots of strength (and tea/wine/chocolate!) until that time. Good luck!

Thanks everyone; so good to know we are not alone! NCT friends (all of whom are a few weeks older) babies all seem to be much better than mine so feel like I an doing it wrong!! Have tried warming the crib leaving a muslin that I've had down my top white noise shushing etc etc. we try to get up and go to bed at 7am and 7pm, have consistent bedtime routine... I do feel like she needs more sleepy cues to know when it's nap time but not sure what? For bedtime we do bath, a bit of amateur massage (mainly just putting baby moisturiser on her!), short story, breast feed in our room then shushing and rocking to get her to sleep. For naps it's just the shushing and rocking in our bedroom, but what other things could I do to get her to realise naptime is coming? We live in a first floor flat so we don't go upstairs to bed... Thanks again so much everyone!

Your not doing anything wrong some babies just take a lil longer to get into a routine have you asked your health visitor for advice to your doing everything right

I was very fortunate that from around 5 weeks, my LG began to sleep through the night. She went on to be formula fed and now everytime she has a warm bottle, associates it with "sleepy time" and goes for a nap, so when she shows signs of being tired or needing a nap, I give her a bottle.

Over the past 3 - 4 weeks though she has been a bit difficult to get down so around 8 or 9pm, I will run a bath for her and bathe her infront of the coal fire. Once she has had a bath, she gets a 5 minute massage with baby lotion which she loves (giggles everytime!), gets into cosy pyjamas and my partner will have got her a warm milk ready for me to sit down and feed her.... she doesnt seem to finish the bottle before being sound asleep and thats her for the night. Although she didnt have a problem sleeping through, she was getting difficult to put down and I find that sticking to the same routine around the same time every night really works. She is in the bath for a good 20 minutes kicking about, splashing, giggling and tiring herself out so it really helps, plus its warm and relaxing for her.

We live in quite a big house so I put her in her moses basket after falling asleep on me for approx 20 minutes to ensure she is in a deep enough sleep in the room next door (joined to living room) with the lights off and the door ajar so i can hear her if she stirs. Once its time for us to go upstairs to bed, I trasnfer her from the moses basket into her sleeping bag and into the cot and she sleeps great. Even if she wakes up briefly when being trasnferred, she goes to sleep as soon as the light is out on her own accord, sometimes she will need a dummy to soothe her.

I think the moses basket is a comfort thing for her, her fleecy blanket, the warm milk and the relaxing, fun bath before bed with the routine being the same every night has really made this work.

I used to take her a walk and she would fall asleep but the difficulty was getting her out her snowsuit and into the moses basket without her waking up (rarely worked!)