Help me teach 7m DS to self-settle

[grainmum]

For the past few nights bed-time is becoming an increasingly drawn out ritual. I'd love to make some progress in teaching DS to self-settle - any suggestions?

Current routine:
6-6.30pm bath, then massage/apply eczema creams
Feed (EBF)
Put down in cot around 7pm - invariably starts crying when laid down (tummy sleeper). Pat on back/sing lullabies until asleep. Tonight this took about 1 hour in total, we weren't able to have dinner until 8.30pm and I've had no evening, my ironing pile is growing rapidly.

He usually then wakes a further twice overnight, although last night was bad with 5 wakings. I try not to feed him until it has been at least 4 hours since last feed; otherwise I leave him in cot if at all possible and pat him/sing until he goes back to sleep. Usually at one waking will need nappy changed.

I've read no cry sleep solution but not sure how to implement this since our starting point is with crying. Equally would like to "gradually retreat" the amount of support we give to falling asleep, but as we have lots of crying now not sure that we should be retreating yet?

Would be grateful for any suggestions (happy to continue with a night feed or two but really really would like bed-time to be a bit easier)!

This morning he's asleep within 4 minutes of lying down in cot! Why can't he do this at bedtime?

I'm no expert but I find DD2 settles best at night if not completely knackered.

Like your DS she settles well for naps during the day.

I feed before bath as well as before bed so that DD is not ravenous and tired - a horrible combination.

I let DD2 nap in the afternoon up to an hour and half before bed time. She's almost 6 months old.

Wish I could get her to sleep better through the night though!

Hi grainmum I am no expert but my DS is a similar ages and I too am working on this at the moment.
For me as soupmaker says the daytime sleep does seem to have a big impact on how arduous bedtime is.
It's a very fine balance with my DS at the moment and some days like today his nap times have been all over the place but when it's right it makes a huge difference.
Will watch with interest for further tips.

Have tried bringing bedtime forward which seems to help. However only slept for 45 mins for afternoon nap today, woke just after 2, so it has just taken me 23 minutes patting/singing. There's a lesson there...

People advise not going straight in when they wake but giving them a chance to self-settle - how long do you give it?

We do/did a sort of spaced soothing with both boys (DS2 is 6mo). So go in, shhhh pat or sing whichever song we have for their bedtime (DS2 is ba ba blacksheep) and then leave them.

If they get hysterical then obviously pick them up. But go in, do the ditty, then leave them for 2/3/4/5 mins - basically as long as possible without them getting hysterical. I often find that by setting small tasks, put a load of washing on for eg, makes this less stressful.

I second them not being overtired by bedtime. How long between last nap and bed?