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Is DD relying on BF to sleep??

7 replies

Emmasmummy2013 · 13/01/2014 14:47

Hi everyone,

DD is 16 weeks old and is EBF, until she was about 12 weeks she had build up to sleeping for a period of 5-6 hrs straight at night, she'd wake for a feed and go straight back down for another 2-3 hours. After that she'd be waking hourly(ish) until she'd slept enough ( usually 11-12 hours after going to bed).

I was happy things were going OK and that she was making progress by sleeping longer, however the last 4 weeks she has been waking at least every 3 hours. She's harder to settle from the beginning, usually goes down around 8:30, sleeps for 45 mins, wakes, goes back down for 3 hours, feeds, down for another 2 hours, after that she will usually only go to sleep in my arms or will sleep in cot for an hour max. She hasn't gone anything like 5 hrs sleep in a row !!

She has a bedtime routine in place and has done for a couple of months, bath, story, then she breast feeds to sleep. (I've always fed her to sleep at night from day 1.)

I am wondering why she has changed her sleep pattern (for the worse!) and I'm worried it could be something I've done! I have read that by BF her to sleep she wont learn to self settle and wonder if this could be the problem. I have always BF though so wonder why things have changed Confused

I do think she used to be able to self settle, sometimes I would hear her wake after I put her down and mumble away to herself until she fell asleep again! she doesn't do this anymore, although sometimes she does wake for a few seconds when I put her down, then closes her eyes again and goes off to sleep.

I'm trying to work out whats changed, this is what I can think of:

-Over the last 4-5 weeks she has been napping much better in the day. She takes a 45 minute nap ( rarely shorter, never longer) every 1.5 - 2 hours. Again I BF her to sleep for these. I am worrying that this pattern has reinforced the idea to her that she needs to be BF to get to sleep???

-She is in her cot now, I cant remember exactly when we changed her from her Moses basket but surely she would be used to her cot by now as it is definitely longer than 4 weeks.

  • She has her first lot of injections at 12 weeks, but surely too much time has passed for these to still be having an effect.

-We're pretty sure shes teething.

  • I have read about sleep regression, and this is a possibility I guess - she has been trying to roll over and gets frustrated she cant manage it!!

I'd love to think it is sleep regression/teething and that it will pass. I don't actually mind getting up with her in the night I just worry that I'm creating a bad habit feeding her each time she wakes that'll make things harder on us both in future.

At this stage I just cant see how I will ever get her to sleep without feeding her! I try putting her down sleepy but awake, I stay with her, she will lay there for a while but as soon as shes ready to sleep she will start crying. I try putting her down/picking up, she gets over tired and in the end I just BF her to sleep!! I don't like the idea of cc so I don't know what else to try to get her to sleep without feeding her.

I don't have to go back to work until September so I am actually happy to carry on feeding to sleep so long as I'm doing the best thing by dd, and so long as she will be able to self settle by the time I go back to work and my MIL will be here looking after her. That said, on occasion I think she makes herself sick from overfeeding trying to sleep!

She has a bedtime routine in place and has done for a couple of months, bath, story, then she breast feeds to sleep. I've always fed her to sleep at night from day 1.

Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, I'm feeling so confused and am pretty tired today! In conclusion what I'm keen to know is:

-Why have things changed.
-Am I doing harm by carrying on breastfeeding
-How will I ever get DD to sleep without feeding! Either now or in 6 months time!!

I'd be really grateful for your thoughts/advise Smile

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darjeelingdarling · 13/01/2014 15:55

hi Emma :)

you're doing a great job!

you can't 'harm' a baby by carrying on breast feeding.

I'm still feeding my 13 mo old ds. he's started to grow out of bf to sleep but oh my god I've been so thankful for it in the past!

formula feeding doesn't guarantee sleep. your baby is tiny - just respond to her needs. unfortunately for us babies sometimes don't sleep. some sleep badly then just do better, some sleep 7-7 then it all goes tits up!

try to do all you can to sleep when you can. they grow up quickly!

This website is extremely good for explaining the ins and outs of baby sleep.

www.isisonline.org.uk/

darjeelingdarling · 13/01/2014 16:01

you can try the pantley pull off method which is in the 'no cry sleep solution' and use a specific piece of music which hopefully she'd associate with going to sleep but ime it's very hard to foresee how babies will be further down the road.

what work/ hours will you be doing ?

stillhopefulforanother · 13/01/2014 20:15

Hey,

I have a 17 week old. I am doing exactly what you are doing, feeding to sleep for every sleep. I'm worried about it but I can't see another way as this is what I've always done.

Her sleep was ok up until a couple of nights ago. I was awake between 12 and 4 and just dreading tonight. I'm praying it's a developmental thing or teeth and she will go back to normal.

KikiShack · 13/01/2014 20:58

hi, your post is freakily identical to my DD, currently 13.5 weeks, things were great before xmas but sleep suddenly went to pieces at around 12 weeks- harder to feed to sleep, waking often. all after I started making naps better!
She's also newly in a cot, andoccasionally overfeeds till she's sick.
so I'm watching this with interest in the hope of some wisdom.

Emmasmummy2013 · 14/01/2014 11:02

Thanks so much everyone for your advice. Nice to see no one tells me I am doing a terrible thing as is suggested on some sites!!

After writing this yesterday I have found that I can get her to sleep with just her dummy rather than having to feed her to sleep. I guess enough time must have passed since she last tried it that shes ok with one now!I tried it last night - put her in cot awake, dummy in mouth, she sucked and went to sleep!! I had to sit with her and hold it in for her but still if you'd told me yesterday morning that she would have done that I would not have believed it!!

I'm planning to carry on feeding to sleep as I have done, I don't like the thought of her not understanding why I've taken that comfort away from her! However, sometimes I think she needs the dummy as otherwise she takes too much milk and just brings it back up again.

I wonder whether now she is bit older she takes her milk more quickly and doesn't have enough sucking time to get herself to sleep???!! She does seem to get v frustrated at the boob after a while when she cant get to sleep, so I hope the dummy will help with this.

I know some think dummy's are not great, but I do find it reassuring that she is able to get to sleep without me if needs be.

OP posts:
TinyTear · 14/01/2014 11:04

that sounds like the 4 month sleep regression...
it will get better...

my 23 month old still BF to sleep on occasions (most) but she can sleep by herself at nursery and with daddy... it will happen

Emmasmummy2013 · 14/01/2014 14:47

Thanks TinyTear, think that's what I need to hear!

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