Advice on 16w old co-sleeper

[monniemae]

My 16w baby is a pretty good sleeper (in my eyes, I know some would baulk at how we're doing things) but I'd love some advice on how to get her to stay asleep after I've left her in the evenings..

At the moment she sleeps with us and feeds to sleep at 10/11, waking around 8/830 am (with typically two night feeds though I've started trying to stave off the first waking by putting a hand on her tummy).

Naps seem fine, flexible but roughly about 10 for an hour, about 1230/1 til 230/3, then a nap about 5-6. Until recently we had her downstairs clusterfeeding / catnapping after her bath (around 7) till I took her to bed.

This week I've been feeding her in the dark in the bedroom after bathtime and sneaking out with a view to her staying there 8ish till whenever I come to bed and dreamfeed her.

It's been five nights and so far every night without fail she wakes 20-25 mins after I leave her (max) and wails. Then she wkn't resettle, or she will but I can't unlatch her, or I can but she wakes up after 1minute etc.

Any tips? I'm not keen on letting her cry as I know she gets very upset v v quickly. Periodically I am trying putting her down awake etc and she seems more receptive to new ideas for naptimes. I've tried tweaking the 5pm nap, putting her down earlier (730 today), later, etc, but always she wakes within 25 mins. I've tried leaving my cardigan and/or pillows where I was lying!

But is there anything else I can do to keep her asleep longer in the bedroom without me?!

Don't know how helpful it is but my tip would be to just ride it out a and he'll get there when he's ready. It's what's worked for me. Mine's gone from co-sleeper to quite happy in cot just by getting to the point by himself where he's ready. That's me and mine though...

It took DS a couple of months to go a reasonable period of time without resetting at that age, we just kept being consistent but there was lots of toing and froing for a while.

Ok. That's actually reassuring to hear, thanks both. If it's a matter of consistency and time I think I can cope, or at least continue for now.

I'm pleased that's reassuring not irritating. It always depends on ethos.

Mine's over 1 now so much older. I've never done anything more than try the next step and see if he's ready, and he will fairly often feed to sleep, be transferred to cot, and stay asleep till the morning now. He slept on me feeding and sleeping all evening like you describe till at least 6 months, my choice, I didn't try anything else any sooner.

IME and IMO from research I've done, it's all stages and they'll make their way through them with a bit of loving support. But the flip side is that you have too look after yourself too so your needs matter too. My son sleeping on me till 6 months was as much about me as him.

Hope that's helpful

She's not cold, is she? I'm guessing you've checked, but thought I'd mention it as we shared a bed and did similarly to you with bedtime. DS would wake before we came to bed and it was because he was used to being warmer in bed with us. After we put another blanket on him until we came up he was fine.

Thanks Chinesefireball, I have been making the room 20degrees but I think she probably would prefer it a bit warmer. Will crank it up tonight and try again.

Chazzerchaser, I'd be really happy to let her set the pace entirely, but my DP while on the same page about most things was not an enthusiastic co-sleeper. So I want to nudge her gently towards habits that suit all of us.. And I think we'd both be happy co-sleep for longer if we at least get a couple of hours away from her in the evenings if that makes sense!

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I was also going to say just give it time. We cosleep with DS (10 months) and he has gradually developed better sleep habits as he's got older. He goes down in his cot after a feed, transfers to our bed when we go up, quick suck then back to sleep till 6am, morning feed, then slugabed till 9am sometimes! All we did to achieve this was wait and pander to his whims in the meantime!