13 weeks and previously good sleep has gone out the window- could this be regression?

[KikiShack]

hello wise mners.
DD is 13 weeks and she used to sleep 8.30-1 then 1.20-4, 4.20-6.30 and wake up (average, no two nights were ever the same!) but then Christmas struck and we visited relatives etc and sleeping got disrupted so she was going down at 10.30 (we were trying for 8.30 but she refused to settle) and waking every 90 minutes.She was11 weeks at cChristmas.
Since coming home on 30th she has been variable, but she's got a new bed so I'd expect a bit. She seemed to be getting back to normal, then suddenly 3 nights ago she started waking every 2 hours and has done so ever since.
So my questions are: does this sound like post xmas wobbling or a nice early sleep regression? she was 12 days overdue so is closer to 3 1/2 months developmentally??
I've been reading wonder weeks and she might be at the beginning of the big stormy period which they say starts at 14 1/2 weeks, she's bang on for that according to due dates.
It might be clear I'm sleep deprived and clutching at straws!
Also we were aiming for sleep at 8.30 and wake at 6.30. Does she need an earlier bedtime?
Naps are ok, normally manage 4-5 hours, consisting of 1 or 2 90 min ones and the rest 30-45 mins. Nothing is regular though.
And finally she is ebf and huge (18lbs) and currently feeds to sleep most of the time.
Can I have a time machine and go back and start again with only good habits?? I wish I'd read more about sleep/sleep props before I popped...
Any help or advice much appreciated xx

bump

At this age, dont beat yourself up re sleep props. We all do what we need to in early days. Besides sleep regression happens props or no! From 4 months is a good time to teach to settle so im told.
Come and join us on the sleep regression solidarity thread!

Yes. My DD hit the big regression at 13 weeks (she was 14 days overdue). For us it was catalysed by a trip away and then the summer heatwave. I survived by learning to feed lying down, so at least I could rest during her gazillion night feeds. We had a co-sleeper crib, which made things easier, but some nights she'd only sleep right up next to me. It will pass. For us it lasted two months before I had an instinct it was becoming habitual, rather than a regression, so I spent a couple of weeks teaching her to self-settle, which was much easier than I'd anticipated.

I am so relieved to read this, the advice in particular. My 13 week old DS's sleep has gone into total shambles since going home for Christmas - he would fall asleep on the dot at midnight before and now he's all over the shop; where he was getting longer and longer sleeps in the night (he even got up to 7 hours one night!) he's back to 3 hours between feeds.

We end up getting up somewhere between 10-11am by the time he's had enough sleep (not to mention me), which is doing my head in because I want to get on with my day and be a bit more organised (read: start going to a playgroup and meeting other people with babies)! And it's sometimes taking 1-2 hours to get him back to sleep in the night. It's so hard to know whether I should just not worry about it at the moment or if I should be trying to get him into some kind of routine… as it is, I've given up trying to nap in his cot as he'll only sleep on me in the day, I couldn't cope with the 2 hours of fighting over it. So I feel a bit better reading that I'm not the only one having difficulties!

And CityDweller, please could you share how you taught self-settling? That's the other problem I've got

I wouldn't bother with teaching to self-settle until the 4-month regression is clearly over. I can't explain it, but I just had this instinct that her crappy night sleeping was habit, rather than anything developmental, by about 5/5.5 months.

At that time I stopped feeding her to sleep by not putting her in her sleeping bag until after the bedtime feed and then reading her our bedtime book (always the same one). Then lights off, down in crib (she was still in co-sleeper crib at this stage). Then if she grumbled (which she did a lot the first nights) I'd rub her shoulder and say 'it's ok, it's just bedtime'. As soon as she stopped protesting, I'd take my hand away and hide under her crib (oh, the things you do). Then if she started protesting again I'd pop up and soothe her again. The plan was for her to fall asleep without my hand on her, which took about 45 mins the first night. Quicker the second night. Then 3rd and 4th night she realised what was going on and had bedtime hysterics, so I just fed her to sleep again and started again on day 5. By about 8 days in I was able to put her down asleep and leave the room, perhaps going in a few times to reassure her. I never picked her up during any of the teaching to self-settle as I found it made things worse, as it was she never really cried (apart from the hysterics nights), just kind of moaned and shouted a bit. She still (at 9mo) often kind of mantra-moans or shouts as she's falling asleep.

It has, in general, been a 2-steps-forward-1-step-back experience - things like illness or teething or big developmental spurts have often set us back for a day or two, but things always get back on track again quickly afterwards and now she's (mostly) a champ at getting herself to sleep.

Would she have got there on her own? Who knows, but the hour+ it was taking me to feed her to sleep at 5 months was beginning to get to me, so it was worth it from that perspective alone.

Good luck!

citydweller thanks for that detailed and seemingly understandable description. I look forward to trying out at 5 months! Your words make it look easy and fun. I'm sure that's not an entirely accurate interpretation...

It really wasn't that bad at all. I'm not saying it's a failsafe method, it just worked for us. If I was to give any advice it would be listen to your instincts. I had a strong instinct at that age that DD was ready to start going to sleep on her own - I think if I'd tried it much earlier then it wouldn't have been as successful. Ditto, don't be a slave to sleep training if/ when things go wrong. In the past 5 months I've still fed to sleep/ co-slept/ let DD sleep on me when the situation required it. I've never left her to cry and my theory was doing it very gently would reassure her that sleep is a nice, safe thing - not something that involves being abandoned.

The other thing I forgot to say is that about two weeks after we taught self-settling we moved her to a cot in her own room. That helped reduce her night wakings a lot (as I think we were disturbing her during the night when she was in our room).

Hi CityDweller,

Great posts and a advice. I have a 4 month old who I feed to sleep at night. This can take 2 hours!

She has 4 naps a day usually at the same time each day. She can settle herself in her cot for the first nap, but not later naps. Weird and stressful.

I have a toddler who needs to be dropped off and collected which means naps in car seat or on me then moved to car seat happen three mornings. Afternoon naps I have to use a sling!

All in all hard bloody work.

Shall I wait til she is 5 months to address these issues?

Hi Still - I had many of your frustrations at that age as DD was also a crap napper. But at least I only had her to worry about, so could spend time helping her nap - it would have been maddening if I'd had another one to look after too. She's much better now, naps in her cot and self-settles for her lunchtime one. We still rock her to sleep for morning nap, but out of choice really.

As to when to tackle things - I don't know! As I said, I had an instinct DD was ready for some gentle training and was out of sleep regression territory. I think I read useful stuff on the Troublesome Tots website about the best time to tackle self-settling. I can't link as on phone, but have a look there. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your response, Citydweller, I can't tell you how much calmer that's made me feel about the whole thing! DS's started gradually going to sleep ever so slightly earlier each night and even managed 15 minutes in his cot earlier today (at the end of a very long nap) so I'm hoping that things will eventually just sort of sort themselves out. But like I said, I just find it really hard to know when it's time to stop thinking things will happen naturally and start trying to stop bad habits forming. I'll try and trust my instincts a bit more too… I suppose I'm supposed to be enjoying having this amazing tiny companion to hang out with, not spending all my time worrying about whether we're doing things "properly"!

Thanks again :)