DD is 9mo and has always been a dreadful sleeper. That said, a few months ago, things had settled into a decent, but not ideal, routine. Tea at 5pm, bath at 6.30, feed to sleep by 7pm. She'd go into her cot (next to our bed) and usually wake up an hour or two later, at which point she'd start fighting to stay up. I'd try feeding, rocking and walking about with her in the carrier, all of which would work for only a few days before she would realise we were trying to put her to sleep, at which point she'd get very hyper and we'd end up putting her down to play and hopefully tire herself out. She'd usually go back down to sleep between 9 and 11pm sometime and wake twice during the night for feeds. Sometimes I'd fall asleep and she'd stay with us, sometimes she'd take all of the room in the bed and I'd put her back in her cot. Either way, she'd wake up at around 6.30-7am.
Fast forward to now. MIL stayed for 2 weeks over xmas, and DD's sleep has deteriorated to newborn stage (or worse). For the last week and a half, she woke hourly and a few nights ago, even more than this - sometimes every 30 mins.
A few things have changed in the last few days - MIL has left, DD has moved into her own room, and I have gone back to work after ML. DH and I are completely exhausted and ready to change things to help DD to sleep better. For the last three nights, we've started night weaning, with DH getting up with DD when she wakes and offering her EBM at 3 hourly intervals (if she's awake). The first two nights she was upset but after a few minutes of (intense) crying she did settle for him, most of the time refusing the milk, which indicates to me that she's not feeding at night because she's hungry. However last night was horrendous, with three hours of screaming and both of us up trying different ways to comfort her and get her to sleep. She'd eventually drop off but wake up screaming as soon as she touched the mattress.
We're both absolutely shattered and don't know how many more nights of this we can do. I really don't want to do CIO or even CC, but DH is starting to suggest that it might be necessary. Does anyone have any ideas of gentler ways we can help DD to go to sleep and self settle when she wakes?