sudden screamy bedtimes 14mo

[slightlyconfused85]

My DD has always settled herself to sleep happily around 6.45/7pm and usually sleeps until somewhere between 6-7. She normally chats to herself for 5-10 minutes then drops off. She has a consistent routine consisting of bath around 6pm, milk at 6.20 and books and In The Night Garden until 6.50 then teeth, then bed.

In the last week, we have had several difficult bedtimes; she starts off making her chatty noises then descends into hysterical screaming. One night it took until 9pm before she eventually went to sleep, after we'd been into her several times to comfort/offer a drink/check nappy/give calpol etc. The last two nights have not been so bad, although she has cried when we've put her down and shouted/cried for 15 minutes before going to sleep.

I am confident there's nothing wrong with her; she has 16 teeth already and is showing no signs of teething, she does not have a temperature, she has been happy and busy during the day (lots of running round so definitely tired) and has a nap from anywhere between 1 hour 15 and 2 hours starting around 12.30. She will not take two naps anymore.

I'm of the school where I don't mind leaving her to cry for a short while if I know she is okay, however, I'm starting to dread putting her down as I obviously do not enjoy listening to her sounding upset and I don't know if she's going to go to sleep, or wind herself up into hysterics.

Does anyone know what could be causing these screamy bedtimes, and if there's anything I could do to go back to her old self with bedtime? We've had the odd difficult evening in the past, but nothing that has gone on for a week or more.

Sorry I can't help at all, except to offer some sympathy. I could have written your exact post.

Dd is 14 months old and we follow a near identical routine to yours. She has self settled for months now but just recently has taken to crying for about 15 mins at nap and bedtime. I was wondering whether it was due to teething (she's very dribbly and we're awaiting her molars) or just yet another sleep regression, or separation anxiety as she cries the second I leave the room.

I feel a bit stuck with the crying tbh though. Going back in to comfort her either stimulates her or just makes her cry again when we leave. Staying until she's asleep is not really possible as she's such a light sleeper that she hears us leave. I don't really want to get into the habit of always having to be there while she falls asleep either.

Arrgh! can anyone help us op?!

Exactly the same with the crying to be honest I leave her as long as possible as I know as soon as I go in she gets stimulated and we are in for 2 hours or do of going round in circles. I thought perhaps separation anxiety. Or maybe just enjoying life too much and wanting to be up! Sorry to hear you are having similar troubles

Eagerly awaiting helpful replies as I have a 13 month old who is exactly the same!

The only thing I have found when googling is an attachment anxiety as apparently it can come and go.

My DS is fine if I'm in the room but screams when I leave!

Has her routine been changed a lot over Christmas? Staying away? Up late? Richer foods?

DS did this at this age after months of sleeping through. It took a while but eventually found a new 'bedtime song' that seemed to calm him a little (IIRC it was Bob Marley) and we just used to sing it and sing it until he calmed. After a week or so the screaming stopped and we kept up with the song for ages. No problems after that.

We stayed away at DPs parents for a couple of nights, but all was the same and she's not had any late nights. Diet hasn't changed. She also doesn't want to nap and shouts then as well, even though she's only having one so is exhausted by 12.30. (this is occuring right now!!)

I feel like she's just really enjoying her new skills (walking and running, a little bit of speech, more interaction with her toys) and sleep is just boring! I'm hoping it is yet another phase that will pass soon, as I am not enjoying it!!

No advice but just wanted to say my 12 month old has just started this too. I used to quite like putting her down as she was really cuddly and snoozy. Suddenly in the last week she's started screaming as soon as she even sees her cot! So annoying - and really distressing for all of us.

Hope it works out for all of us soon!

Hi. I started a thread last night about my 17 month old who has stopped self settling and got directed here. Has anyone had any joy? My DS took 90 mins to settle last night, finally going to sleep at 9pm, then up for the day at 5am . Tonight we're currently going in every 5 minutes. He settles immediately when he sees us and starts off again when we leave. Staying with him last night didn't help. I don't know what to do!!

Just wanted to add my 15 mo is the same. Never been a great sleeper but used to settle with me next to him. Now no no no - screams at bedtime book, me not having a Hand on him. He doesn't regularly sleep through but if he wakes and I don't get to him in time he s awake for hours pointing at things chitty chatting etc! Last night 1.30 to 5

Another 13 month here doing the exact same thing! I'm knackered!!

Well, the only way I've had any success is for my DP to be the one to put her down and not me. He does her teeth then puts her in her cot, puts his hand on her back/bum to stop her wriggling/shouting and then leaves. Last two nights she's gone off on her own within 5 minutes at 6.45ish and then slept through.

I think it is me she objects to leaving her at the moment: she's a bit clingy. After he does her teeth he brings her to me to say goodnight and she manically kisses me and gives me a death grip round my neck until I have to prise her off and then she cries a bit more.

Although him putting her down is okay, I need to be able to put her to bed without a big fuss as a couple of nights a week he is not here and I don't fancy hours of screaming on my own.

Has anyone else tried getting their DP or DH to put the child to bed without mum being in the room? It's the only iota of success we're having.

This week has been a bit of a blur. I think my DH did put him down one night. We shared going in and out every 5 mins this evening but I did the bedtime routine. We'll try it tomorrow night with just DH and i'll let you all know. Hope you all get a decent night

It's no better here either Dd refused to feed before her lunchtime nap, screamed when I left the room and only slept for 45 mins. The mornings are also slowly getting earlier too.... I remember the 5am starts during the 4 month sleep regression - really don't want to go there again!

How is bedtime going with all the screamy toddlers? So I left it to DP to settle her last few nights, I braved doing the whole thing tonight and she went off to sleep fine by some kind of miracle. Didn't stop her from waking up with a start an hour later and screaming for 10 minutes but then went back off (nightmare maybe?)

I'm sure this is a fluke, but it's been nice to have a quieter start. No changes, just kept routine exactly the same and kept nap to 90 minutes at lunch.

Great stuff confused

We've had two tear-free bedtimes in a row! that's probably tempted fate now

good news Happy maybe this phase is over for a short while, until the next one!

Well our evenings are slightly better but still screamy. DS is asleep by 8 but still up at 5am. Not sure 9 hours is really enough sleep for a 17month old but he seems quite determined to stick with it

Does he have a nap Bugaboom? Is it worth cutting it a little if it is long to see if he will add it on to the morning? 9 hours doesn't seem like enough but it probably is a phase and he'll go back to something between 10-12

Yes. He naps for around 2.5 hours and then has to be woken up. I haven't asked nursery to cut it as I was worried about him being exhausted there. I might cut it back at weekend and see if it helps. My DH is settling him this evening. He just spent half hour in with him and apparently he is just fighting sleep and sitting up or rubbing his eyes as soon as he starts to drop off. Now he's left him, he's screaming full throttle. This too shall pass...

I suppose 9 hours at night plus 2.5 hours in the day he's at the lower end of the recommended amount of sleep in 24 hours for his age. My DD would also sleep all afternoon if I let her, but I have recently cut her day sleep to 1.5 hours or she takes it off the morning, and starts waking at 5.30ish. I know they say sleep begets sleep but possibly in older babies there can be such thing as too much day sleep. It took 3 or 4 days of cutting the nap to see results, she still wakes up early but more like 6.30 which is completely manageable.

Poor you for the screamy evening - feel your pain and sending hugs. It is a phase, it is a phase, it is a phase.

ps, when my DD is doing this I shut all doors, put on the radio and make and drink a cup of tea. By the time I've finished she is either asleep or she is still going and I'll have to do something, but at least I've had a hot cup of tea and 10 minutes not listening to it so have more strength for the next attempt! Some may disagree but this was a tip from my excellent HV ages ago, and it really is a sanity saver.

Thanks slightly. Staying with him calms him but he's not dropping off so we're doing 10 min checks. I've opted for wine rather than tea

Haha good shout on the wine. Hope he is asleep now and youre ha ing that vino in peace