Sleep training for 12 week old... When and how?

[starfish12]

I'm pretty sure my 12 week old cant self settle... In the day I get him to sleep either out in the pram (he tends to stir/wake if we stop), or being jigged in the sling and at night I feed him to sleep.

I have been trying to pull my boob out at the last minute but can't manage this every time during his 4-5 night wakings. Unless he's on the tipping point of sleep he screams, head butts to get back on my boob and I always relent otherwise he will continue to scream and then any chance at sleep is gone.

The health visitor told me all of the above were bad habits and I need to stop them and suggested I let him cry to see if he would settle on his own. I said that I thought 12 weeks was too young to let cry and she agreed!!

I feel I've made a bit of progress as 6 weeks ago he would only sleep on my chest, however as I continue to feed him to sleep night after night I can't help but wonder how the hell I break the habit. The most he's ever slept is 3.5 hours.

Anyway my long winded post is for advice on whether to worry about this at 12 weeks, do things tend to 'sort themselves out' or do I need to get tough?

I've also tried a dummy, finger, ssshing and patting to no avail... And have read baby whisperer, no-cry but the advice sounds so easy as in 'put your baby down when drowsy' - my DS never ges drowsy as he's too busy thrashing around when tired...

Thanks for any help/thoughts...

breathes huge sigh of relief

Thank you all for your responses, I think you've helped save my sanity. I got in a huge stress/massive obsession for the first 6 weeks about bloody foremilk/hindmilk imbalance and I didn't want to spend more of my mat leave needlessly worrying about something else!

Have been enjoying the nightime snuggles guilt-free! :-) x

darjeeling I think I love you

Now I just need ot remember all that good advice in the middle of the night when DD wakes... again...

OP honestly I couldnt agree more with the others - just enjoy your baby! I tried to do as many things as possible 'right' early on and was smugly congratulating myself on doing everything that ABSOLUTELY WAS GOING TO HELP with DD's sleep - bedtime routine, put down awake etc etc... Well, she's 10m this week and her sleep is godawful (not saying that to scare you btw, just saying that I think babies just are what they are and not much you can neccessarily do to promote fantastic sleep) whereas people I know who I was being oh-so-judgey about (serves me right) with their 8 week olds, letting them fall asleep on boob, not having fixed bedtime etc etc) are now the beneficiaries of fairly good sleeping-thru-the-night (though be aware that many people lie in RL...)

Anyway, hope you can chill a bit after this and enjoy your lovely DS!!

I sooo echo what others have said here - I got very hung up on the whole 'but I shouldn't always have to feed her to sleep' (dd is 7mo) and it is far less stressful to just go with the flow - your baby tells you what s/he needs, just go with it. if she needs to be on the boob, let her go on. It may be for comfort more than food.

Everythhing will work out in time.

I wish I could tell myself 4 moths ago to stress less!!! (I, too, did the whole hind milk stressing thing!)

YOU know your baby best and your HV DOES NOT!!!! You will instinctively know when to do certain things for your baby. I now know when it is best for me to just leave my little one to gurgle herself off, and when (most of the time!) she needs me to give her a hug / sing her a lullaby or whatever.

It will come, and it comes from your baby when you're least expecting it.

And you will read and interpret it just fine. :-)

I boob fed my 4 to sleep. As others have said 12 weeks is very young. Does get easier, it really does