DS1 has always been tricky re sleep but we have adapted and developed an OK system over time. He is 3.5 now and since 2 has gone to sleep in his bed with DH or me cuddling him, usually within 5-10 mins of lights out. We have a solid bedtime routine - bath, books, story. He gets a steady bedtime - bath starts around 5.45, lights out/asleep by 7. Then 12 hrs sleep generally. About 4/5 nights he wakes and comes in with us for rest of the night (did co-sleep from 5mo- 2yo). This was all fine as far as we were concerned.
DS2 is now 4wo; from about 6 weeks before he was born DS1 has become deranged at bedtime. Hyper - in and out of bed, all sorts of time wasters- need wee, need drink etc etc, then head stands and leaping about in bed, chattering - basically unable to relax and switch off. Nothing seems to calm him and he is far from compliant at the best of times. Rewards seem to be failing - stickers schmickers. We have resorted to restraining him in bed by cuddling arms and even legs - cue 5 mins shrieking, then conks out. He was similar around 1 yo - what I've seen referred to as a 'tension releaser'. Bringing bed time earlier has a minimal benefit and is hampered by work times. Going later and it does get even worse.
The hassle is now there is DS2 - when DH can handle DS1 we're OK but when he's fully back at work, every other night I'll have DS2 in evening feeding frenzy plus DS1 as described - so far my attempts at bed time have been horrendous.
I tried the 'get into bed or I'm leaving the room' cue hysterics all round.
Thank-you for reading this far - any ideas, pleaseeeeee?