How can I get dd3 (18 months) to stop needing milk in the night?

[Pollyanna]

I've got myself into a bit of a rut. When I stopped bf'ing dd3 in the night (she was getting up 4 or 5 times a night to feed), I've somehow got into the routine of giving her a bottle instead. Now at 18 months she wakes up at least once, and sometimes twice every night and guzzles an entire bottle of milk and then goes back to sleep. I know she doesn't need this and wondered whether there is any way to stop it other than cold turkey?

I rather fear cold turkey is trhe only way in my experience.DS2 was wking for feeds and i knew it was just habit so we just stopped.It only took about 3 days and then he stopped waking up.Hard at the time but definitely worth the unbroken nights in the end!!

I sympathise.
DS1 did this for about 3 years (you probably don't want to know that) To be honest, we came to the conclusion that we might as well give it to him as long as he woke for it as it was less hassle than trying to get him out of the habit (bad parents alert!!!!)
He grew out of it as I'm sure yours will - you just have to decide whether to top it or not. You could try giving less milk to start off with, or just water.
Good luck (we took the easy way out!)

Could you try reducing the amount by a few fl oz each night so she gets used to its withdrawal slowly?

i remember giving ds a bottle with just water in it. by god did he protest but it only took a few nights before he gave up waking in the night.

We had this with ds until he was about 15 months (although he only woke once each night). Also did the cold turkey thing and it took about 2 nights. I think some babies are genuinely hungry though - I gave gave ds a large snack before going to bed before going cold turkey.

Does she have a feed or snack before going to bed?

Another bad parent alert! We took the easy option like Tommy. Our ds has always been a bad sleeper and often woke asking for milk regularly...if given he would guzzle a whole cup then happily drift off himself, took about 5-10mins of being up. We tried watering milk down gradually didnt work just woke more often! Tried water...euurggh no thanks mum! Tried gradually reducing amount...again just woke more often! Tried cold turkey...tantrums and screaming for hours and hours and hours waking whole house so gave in after 4-5 days (maybe if we'd persisted?!?! but I think I'd have lost my sanity). So opted for easy option and gave it too him and like Tommy said he eventually is weaning himself off...he now only wakes once and occasionally not at all. He's going to be 3 soon. My main guilt about it is the damage it's probably done to his teeth, although the dentist says they are fine.

so glad you said that hairycaterpillar - have always felt I was alone on that one here on MN

I'm sure we're not alone...just brave enough to admit we're not perfect!

It isn't really a problem tbh - she goes back to sleep within minutes, but I think she does drink too much milk during the day too (and I want to increase her food intake), so I wondered whether to reduce her milk intake at night at the same time. I don't think I can face cold turkey though...

DS1 used to drink gallons of milk and didn't eat enough food (still doesn't ) but he did cut his milk intake down eventually.
FWIW, I wouldn't worry about it too much - maybe give her half a beaker in the night? That way she will still get the comfort but might be hungrier during the day.
Mind you - I know nothing!!!

Pollyanna, if you don't want to go cold turkey (which is fair enough) then I would cut down on the daytime milk first. See if you can increase her food intake by a fair amount before cutting out the night feeds.

I think it may be a combination of genuine hunger and a comfort thing. FWIW, ds is 2.5 and will only go to sleep after a bottle, unless utterly exhausted.

Mine stopped in the night because I had a new job which involved getting up at 5 in the morning so dh took over the night shift and just offered water. Within a week ds had stopped bothering to wake in the night because it wasn't worth his while.

Perhaps you could offer water and very little else. Minimal cuddles. Then she might think it wasn't worth her while waking.

If my experience with my four is anything to go by, she should soon stop waking up anyway.

Mine were all in the same room as me. They all stopped night feeds at around 12 months. I think I just left them slightly longer each night before attending to them so it got to be more and more effort for them to attract my attention. I did it very gradually. In the end dh would comfort them, breifly, so they soon gave up bothering.

Sometimes they just need to practise getting themselves back to sleep. They can get into the habit of thinking they can't get back to sleep without milk, but they can.

I suppose she must wake up at other times in the night and put herself back to sleep, so I think she must feel quite hungry at that stage. I just want to shift that hunger to the day. I will get dh to try water too. (she is also in our room, so it would be v difficult to do cold turkey).

spidermama my others all gave up feeding in the night much earlier than this too on their own accord. I wish dd3 had done the same

I still bf ds3 in the night, partially because I work 4 days a week and feel that it helps supply and partially because I don't want him to wake up the whole house with his caterwauling! I do remember reading somewhere that if you don't want to go entirely cold turkey, you start sneakily adding water to the bottle and gradually increasing the water and decreasing the milk until its just water, and apparently at that point they give up asking! Unfortunately for me, you can't add water to boobs!

my 21 month old has always woke thru the night and only milk will get him back off to sleep. sometimes waking as much as 4 times a night.he used to have 7oz in the morning and at 3 and at 7. then the ones he had during the night. he didnt eat much so i stopped morning and afternoon milk and just give him a bottle at 7 before bed. he eats much more than my 5 year old and doesnt miss it.i have had enough of him waking in the night so we have started to ignore him. he woke at 2 last night and cried for an hour then went back to sleep and woke again at 5.20. i gave milk then.9 hours is good enough for me. he went back to sleep til 7.30 then.just do whatever suits you

I have tried reducing the amount of milk I give her in the night - it has been disastrous - she just wakes up more often. I am tempted just to go with the flow for now. the only other option is cold turkey