Six week old baby won't be put down - ever!

[Ruralninja]

my beautiful 6 week old dd is the cuddliest baby and hates to be put down to sleep anywhere but on me or dh. She suffers badly with wind (worse when upset) and I don't know if she is associating lying flat with wind, or whether I have simply made a rod for my back by putting her in the sling in the day and co sleeping.

I tried a bednest at the start but she wouldn't settle and I'm not prepared to let her cry for more than a very few minutes as I feel she is in pain, judging by her cries. I have bought and read the baby whisperer and it has just made me anxious.

What is a sensible way forward and is there anything I should be trying, doing or not doing? Would SO appreciate some pragmatic advice about a) making the crib a happy place for naps in the day b) whether or not co sleeping is reinforcing the negative feelings to the crib. I would really prefer her to sleep in the crib at night too, but with co sleeping we easily get 8 hours a night with one sleepy feed at about 3 am. I know this is amazing and lucky, but would so love to make her happier in the daytime, both from a sleep and a wind point of view. Thanks so much!

It sounds like you're doing very well. Few tiny babies enjoy being put down and the sling is a perfect way to get on with things while giving them the contact they need.

You can gradually increase the time your DC is resting alone, but it will get much easier as time progresses and your little one can explore the world a bit more.

Keep at it

Have you tried raising one end of the crib? (can help with wind)
Does it rock - maybe your lo would like that if they like the sling.
Do you sit by the crib with her while she is getting to sleep - I found that helped in the early days.

(nothing wrong with the sling and cosleeping if it works for you though - mine hated both - grumpy little thing)

A sling saved my sanity.

There are no rods for backs here.

My DS was just like this, wouldn't settle anywhere but cuddled up for a what felt like a really loooong time. Now it feels like no time at all, and I really miss it.

You are not making a rod for your own back by giving your baby what she needs. Anecdotally, I can confirm that DS - now 21 months - sleeps perfectly well in his own bed, as do most of the other cosleeping, unputdownable babies I have known. Sooner or later, anyway!

Enjoy your cuddles and try not to worry, it won't last forever.

My baby wouldn't be put down either - we had to take it in shifts.
Eventually a combination of Moses basket warmed with hot water bottle, mattress covered in a t shirt worm by me, and a slumber bear worked.
If I ever have another one ill get a sleepyhead - if you google them they sell them in John Lewis etc. They are £99 but get rave reviews and my niece adores hers. Goes out sparko straight away.
Or else I agree with everyone else... A sling is your friend.

It passes and it doesn't create a bad habit and you don't have to do anything - except keep your own sanity - good tips above!

I spent a lot of time at this age reading really good novels :D

I would avoid reading books on how to do things to babies… your instincts are probably a better guide. Also things are only problems if you find them a problem.

This sounds exactly like my dd! She is 8 week today and up until Boxing day refused point blank to be put down at all she would occasionally go in the bouncer if asleep but would wake up after 10mins and look at me as if how dare you put me in here! She also slept in our bed holding my hand and with my face touching hers!

But in the last few days she seems to have changed it happened without her crying or being forced, On Boxing Day I put her in her big cot in her room with her mobile on while I dragged a massive box from under the bed I expected her to start screaming almost instantly but she seems quite amused and chilled out she stayed in there for over 20mins before falling asleep and slept for about 30mins I was in total shock.

That evening I but her in her gowbag and feed her nd put her into her cot and she slept until her 3am feed and happily went back in I still have to hold her hand through the bars but she is contented enough.

If someone would of told me 2 weeks ago that this would of happened I would of laughed in their face I don't believe in making a rod for your own back I as a new parent have done everything to make my dd feel as loved and secure as possible and it sounds like you are doing the same well done and im sure your little lady with get there when shes ready. Enjoy the cuddles it already feels like its going to fast.

My firstborn was like this. My mum told me to put her in her cot and I shouldn't be picking her up etc etc. We went through weeks of unnecessary stress. She's 27 now, and I just wish I'd ignored everyone else and held her when she needed me.

It feels like forever while you are going through it, but honestly in a lifetime it's such a little time.

Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job

If you've no other factors for SIDS have you tried putting her down on her side or tummy? My 13mo is a tummy sleeper and went from 30 seconds to 5 hours the night i finally gave in (3 weeks old) and tried it; as long as they can turn their head to the side and you keep them slightly cooler on a brand new mattress in a non-smoking household, the risks are minimal

agree with the others on here
sounds like you have a great instinct for what your daughter needs.

what was your delivery like with her?
I only ask as my friend took her son for cranial osteopathy and it immediately eased his painful cry's when he was led down. the plates in his skull had been misaligned (or something like it) during the birth and he was genuinely in pain when his head was on the matress.

I would argue till the cows come home with people who use the phrase rod for your own back. Follow your instincts and you won't go far wrong.
Enjoy this snuggly time.... mine are now 7 & nearly 10 and the cuddles I get are usually cupboard love!

Make the most of the cuddles. It will be no time at all before your arms are empty.

My DS was like this, it turned out to be reflux, though even with Infacol he still wouldn't go down. I resorted to heavy use of the baby sling, and just had him in that all the time as it was the only way I could cook dinner, do the laundry, etc.

12 years on he still loves a cuddle, though I tend not to carry him round any more

As others have said, try not to worry about what you "should" be doing; just do what feels right.

Ah this sounds just like DD. Although DD was worse - she wouldn't sleep next to me, only on my chest! She was also very windy and it would disturb her sleep and seemed to cause her discomfort whenever she was not being held.

We eventually found out she had tongue tie which I now believe was the source of a lot of the wind. Has your dd been checked for TT? How is her latch and how are feeds?

In the meantime, I second the advice which says go with the flow. DD did eventually sleep in her Moses basket and then in her cot, although not very well until after we got the TT snipped.

Oh and I agree with the suggestions of side sleeping (use a rolled towel behind her back to prop her on her side) and warming the basket.

Sounds like reflux , dd2 screemed when she was laid down also sufferd wiht wind , go see your docter ranitadine worked great for us

Normal normal normal. Meeting your baby's needs does not make a rod. Ignoring their preferences might. Your baby is telling you she needs to be close to you to feel safe. She is only 6 weeks old. She doesn't need to learn to be on her own yet. It is more important that she feels safe.

thanks so much for these replies - been wanting to post back for ages but I've honestly not had both my hands simultaneously! It's so reassuring to hear what you're saying about meeting her needs and I have already tried the slant on the crib etc, but not the hot water bottle, so will try that. I am going to buy the Sleepyhead thing as I think she is crying for lack of contact as much as anything. I will carry on with sling and co-sleep and try to increase the amount of time in the crib. Thank you so much, I feel much less worried.

My delivery was very rapid NeverKnowing - 3 1/2 hours in total, start to finish, so a bit of a shock to my body, but she was never in distress and didn't come out squashed or anything, in fact she came out looking beautiful. She always hiccupped endlessly in the womb, so I wonder if she is just a bit prone to windiness, combined with being very tactile. I may to to the osteopath for myself anyway and as he's a friend I'm sure he would look at us both - he does cranial stuff, but tbh I'm quite sceptical about that in particular

.

HOnestly I was SO sceptical ut following her experience we took DS2 as he had 5 perforated eardrums in the first 5 months of his life.
the lady held his head (looked like nothing more) we had 3 sessions and he hasn't had an ear infection for the last 7 years.
Probably / possibly coincidence. But the best £100 I have ever spend.

My son was like this, whenever we laid him down he would scream like he was in pain, it was horrible. We ended up taking him to a chiropractor who worked miracles on him. I had visions of bone cracking but it was nothing like that more like baby massage which also helped with the wind. It's worth a go, in the mean time use a baby sling or carrier it will save your back and you can get stuff done as you have your hands free.