please help me before I go mad - newborn awake from 9pm unti 2am every night & I don't know what to do.

[bodenbetty]

I wish I knew how to hrl pher & get her setteld but I don't seem able to do it & Its horrible. In teh day she feeds fine & goes to slepp in her cot no probelms. At night when i've fed her she lies in her cot, her legs & arms go mad & she's squealing & grunting. I thought it couldbe wind but even after winding her ( a feat in itslef) she still lies there & kicks. I'm giving her infacol but it doesn't seem to be having any efect.tehn she seesm to want to go on & off me very 5 minutes. falls asleep on me then wakes after 5 minutes & screams again. she is in our room & right next to me. i don't feel comfortbale with her slepping in bed with us. I thingk she falls asleep in teh end out of exhaustion.
Somone told me fennel tea was good fro settling babaies but no joy with that yet.
I'm so tired that I coould cry _ I just want her to not cry & be settled & I feel I'm failing her becasue I don'r know whats wrong or how to deal with it. All her cries sound teh same to me.

i was going to ring my HV but don't hvae much faith inher as she told me her mouth was full of milk resideue then teh Dr at the 10 day check said it was thrush.
if anyone has experienced teh same thing or any ideas how I can stop this awful circle I;d be so grateful.

i see what you are all asaying but if I ahve her in bed with me I will drop her or fall asleep om her. I@m to oscared to do it. I'm not tlaking about routines I just want to knw how to get her to slepp a bit at night!

you WILL NOT drop her or roll on her unless you are drunk

put some pillows down the edge of the bed, lay on your side next to her and get some sleep

why don't you just try it? Get dh to promise to check on you through the night if you are worried

betty if we all knew the answer to night sleeping we'd be millionaires

please be comforted by the fact that we have all been there (me only 6 weeks ago) and the trick is to do whatever works for your baby. You have said that she will sleep on you - this then is the key to getting some sleep.

Can you sleep today, can dh take baby out in the pram for an hour?

Line the opposite side of the bed to you with pillows, pop the baby in your dh's space, feed her lying down, then when she drops off to sleep, move over to your side of the bed, taking all your duvet/sheets with you, promise you won't roll over onto her, you'll wake up before you do and she'll should sleep, as you've not moved her, and she can still sense you nearby.

how would you feel about her sleeping on your chest whilst you're asleep on your back? she'll be trapped between your norks so harder to roll off! it worked well for both of ours at that age.

Or if you have small "norks", put dd's head in the crook of your upper arm, whilst you lie on your side facing her. It is impossible to roll over her in this position. If you don't smoke, drink or do drugs and the bedding is likely to be thin anyway (in this heat), it should be alright. Also convenient position to latch her bf-ing lying down before she wakes fully.

I would have taken her into my bed in a twinkle, if I went through what you were going through - wish someone told me this with my dd.

Betty has someone said something to you about co-sleeping or have you read something that makes you feel anxious about it? I completely understand you not wanting to do it if you feel you are going to put your baby at risk, but with a few simple precautions co-sleeping is very safe. If you can tell us what you have heard to make you so worried about it maybe we can put your mind at rest. I feel so sorry for you and your baby going through all this upset and you feeling too anxious to give her the comfort she wants. You must feel exhausted

Some co-sleeping links including lots of links about safety at the bottom here and good old Dr. Sears .

I feel slightly uncomfortable, as if we are brow beating you to co-sleep when it is not everyone's cup of tea and not the only way to cope in the early. But you are clearly not coping with things as they are, and I honestly feel this is the obvious, perhaps the only way to achieve what you are asking for again and again - a way to get your baby to be more settled and perhaps sleep more at night. There really is no other 'magic' cure except just waiting for your baby to get older and mature enough to be able to settle for longer periods.

how was your night betty?

thnaks for asking Enid - It was crap !!!
DD fes on & off from 5.30 until 10.30 (i THought newborns were only suposed to stay awake fro 2 hours a t atime?!) then awakw at 1.30, 3.30, 4,40, & 6.30. Beginning to think there is something wrong with my milk if she is not getting enough? still at aloss what to do. I just can't do teh coslepping thing -like some people can't bear the thought of bungee jumping. I'm just abit worried becasue i can feel that I'm not bonding with ehr like I should I 'm feeling so resentful at lack of slepp. I don't mind teh feeding its teh settling afterwards that is doing my head in.
need to go out now but will check back in kater.

ok i'll lay off about co sleeping

is she in a cot near you?

honestly betty dd3 was exactly the same at your dds age

shes prob having a growth spurt

i kept going by having lots of rest if you were me i would NOT be getting up today - possible?

look!

Hi everyone, I have a 17 week old baby girl who was our miracle after years of IVF and ttc. From the first night she was born she has screamed all night, we have tried all the reflux meds and colic meds out there and cranial massage etc. She is still terrible and my partner and i are totally beside ourselves. I have started to wean her but no effect with relaxing her or making her sleep. She does not seem to need sleep at all, unfortunatley we do and i am starting to feel very depressed. Her main symptoms appear to be acute wind and she writhes around the cot screaming. When i pick her up and walk around or breast feed her she stops. She will NOT take a bottle or dummy so i am contantly breastfeeding every 3 hours day and night. I would be eternally grateful for some advice or just to know we are not alone. Good luck to you all x

oh hox I did that with dd (sleeping on my chest) one night and she rolled off onto the floor and I cried all night (obv 36Cs are not supportive enough) Unless you are very well endowed I would not recommend this!

sorry you had a crap night betty. don't follow my advice though....

Dear Betty.Big hugs.My dd now 7 months was like this for weeks.She was very colicky and guzzled for england.Firstly remember you are doing nothing wrong!!!Some babies are just more needy than others.(I have an older ds who was a fab sleeper so dd really knocked me for six).Its the most bloody awful time if you have a colicky baby.I found dd wanted to be upright most of the time and spent weeks with her laid on my shoulder at night patting her back.Also found a sling helpful and bizarrely walking up and downstairs!!!Also tilting the cot by putting a pillow under the matress.Your hormones are all over the place and youve recently given birth,cut yourself a little slack,dont worry its perfectly normal feeling like this the first few months are the hardest and sleep deprivation is awful.If you can sleep when the baby does and forget about the housework,enlist friends and rellies to help if you are having a bad time.REMEMBER IT DOESNT LAST FOREVER.Keep this thought in your head if you can.Eventually she will settle but the first weeks remind me of a mammoth endurance test of sleep deprivation endless crying and feeling god awful.If the crying is really getting to you put baby in a safe place ie cot/pram and go out the room get yourself a cuppa and go to another room give yourself ten minutes.I did this several times and went to the bottom of the garden for a good cry.I also found that walking her up and down in the pram sometimes helped.Do you have a partner who could take baby out so you can get some sleep.I wish i had a magic cure but i dont just time im afraid.I really feel for you as its crap w3hen youre going through it.Remember it WILL end you are NOT failing her ,you are doing the best you can at a very difficult time and youll come through it and be amazed at how you coped.There are good books i read not that youll feel like reading probably one iscalled "babyshock" sorry cant remember the author the other is "What mothers do " by Naomi Stadlen that brought me great comfort that I wasnt going insane!!! Go to your hv or gp if you are really struggling and do accept any help from friends and rels.Or keep posting on here for moral support.Many hugs to you.

I know you can't do co-sleeping but I wondered if you'd considered one of these? A bedside cot which seems to me to completely get rid of the risk of rolling over on the baby?

Hadnt really read all the thread but have to say for several weeks dd wouldnt entertain cot so had to co-sleep with her over my shoulder,then suddenly she did just take to cotwith matress tilted.Dunno what to suggest if you really cant stomach co sleeping maybe putting cot right next to your side of bed or putting an item of clothing with some of your breast milk on it in cot with baby this worked for a friend.Some people suggest swaddling but unsure about that in this heat.....wish i could be more help

If you think co-sleeping is not for you, forget it, it will only stress you further. Co-sleeping works for some, for us was a total disaster (very lively one week old managed to get under the blankets often, almost fall from bed twice (went all the way down past our feet!) and I decided to full stop when I found him under my legs and took a while to make him react. The truth is no method is perfect for every baby, what works for some could be a disaster for others.

P.S. We had a bedside cot and.... baby still managed to roll down the space between the cot and the bed, so... if you have a very active baby, pushing her cot against your bed may well be enough.

Another thing you can try is to have a baby changing mat (those with raised sides) covered with a towel and place it in the middle of your bed, it didn't work for DS but a friend of mine did that and that was enough to keep baby safe in her bed without wandering under the blankets.

Best of luck

i agree chandra,thats why i added the last post,I think none of us have an easy solution,as every baby is different.Its hard having an unsettled colicky baby.

cot is within arms reach of teh bed. I don't think i could pout her on her tummy- i'd be too consciuos of teh risks.
today am going to try industrial quantities of fennel tea in the hope that will achieve something. was going to try & catch up on some sleep this afternoon but madam has decided not to sleep so doesn't look like its going to happen!!! I wish it would cool down just abit as then we could go ut for a walk in teh buggy but its just so darn hot.
thankyou for all teh advice - its good to know I'm not alone & that there are people to talk to out there!

what time is dh hme?

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn