Co sleeping and gradual retreat

[ZebraZeebra]

How on earth do you do it? Co sleeping has been hugely beneficial to us and we love but the only downside is that DS - 14 months - quite easily climbs out of bed if I move away any further than the end of the bed!

Basically I'm ok with how things are going - he doesn't need feeding/ rocking/ shushing to sleep. But what I'm working towards is being able to say night night, and leaving. I'm trying gradual retreat but because we have a mattress on the floor and the sidecar cot at it's lowest, he can climb out. Some nights it basically turns into rapid return! Which I know some kids need when they're much older and in toddler bed/ single beds but right now - I envy all the cot dwellers!!

I know it's not a typical set up but of any one has managed it, please let me know how?

You have to stay with them until they're asleep I'm afraid, until they understand about staying in bed anyway!

I think a 14 month old is too little to understand WHY you want them to stay in bed, he just wants to be with you, the only way around it is to either move to a cot or stay with them. I started leaving DS awake when he was about 3 but I probably could have done it at 2ish.

I stay with mine until they're asleep and then creep away. Though more often than not I fall asleep with them and don't get dinner or an evening

Not a perfect solution! But I think 14 months is a bit young to understand you want him to stay in his bed while you leave, if he's capable of climbing out. Gradual retreat with a cosleep we night work once the child is old enough to bargain with (you stay in bed and I'll stay just here kind of thing); for mine this would be about now, when they're just over 3 years ....

Ahhh OK, maybe I just had too high expectations. He falls asleep really quickly when I'm nearby so maybe I shouldn't push my luck. I just worry about another baby...how I'd make the logistics work if I am up there with DS. DH works most evenings and I am alone, so I started thinking I should try and get this sorted sooner or later.

So basically, with co sleeping, normal rules don't apply? I don't mind so much, aside from worrying about a situation that hasn't happened yet

I don't think there are any such thing as "normal rules" for sleep really because every child is so different.

But yes the expectation that you can put them in bed and leave them there doesn't really work until they're about 2 or 3. That's why cots have big sides which can't be climbed over, and not just short bed-guard height ones. :)

You'd have thought I'd have figured that out after 14 months of co sleeping

I wouldn't worry about how it would work with another child unless you need to solve that problem right now.

If I had another baby now and had to put my three and a bit year old twins to sleep at the same time as look after the baby, I would hope for a long cluster feed in the late evening, so I could sit on the bed feeding while the twins fell asleep either side of me. I think that would work though the twins would have to live in their pyjamas as I don't think I could breastfeed while getting two toddlers changed