Night feeds and 5.5 mo - sleep train or does she need the milk

[CottonSock]

My lovely baby daughter slept like a dream till 3.5 months, then started waking more and more as she started enjoying the world and we went on a few trips away. Now 5.5 mo, we have had some really rough nights (hourly wake ups, feeding to sleep) so taking sleep action.

So far good progress on the getting to bed part. Had a couple of nights now with no tears and self settling which is a miracle compared to what we had (settle and leave worked for this). Now to tackle the night wakings.

We are up 4-5 times (ok I guess, but less would be nice!), and I always bf her, then try to put her down awake (unless she passes out). Not sure before we start any 'training' how do I know if she needs these feeds, or they are for comfort? She is not a big baby, so would not want to let her go hungry.

Been advised to try and sort now before it's really ingrained. But do I just accept we are making progress and hope for less wakings in time? not sure anyone can answer this for me, so just looking to chat about it all really.

When she wakes in the night she in generally happy, playful and I go to her fairly quickly, but sometimes wait a minute or two to see if she will settle. I feel like she wants company more than food, but I guess I have no idea how much she drinks from me even if feeds are brief. (They were 30 seconds get back to sleep feeds at one point, but now she does feed a good few minutes).

Maybe 4 times a night is 'normal' for her age? not really sure if my expectations too high.

Cotton this all sounds very familiar -I can't post properly now but will tell you my story as soon as I can find time to type !

We cut down from 4+ night feeds during the 4 month regression (which lasted from 3.5-5.5 months for us and sometimes involved all-night feasting at the boob-buffet) to 1 night feed at 7ish months. I started by setting limits on when I would feed. E.g. if DD had gone to bed at 7 and had last feed at 6.45, I was pretty certain she could last until midnight before getting hungry. So DH would go in and re-settle until midnight, after which I'd feed. Then if she woke up sooner than 3 hrs after that, again DH would re-settle. If longer than 3 hrs, I'd feed. Gradually we pushed back the midnight 'limit' until 1am, then 2am, etc etc. That got us to point of her doing one night feed at some point between 2am and 5am. of course, sometimes that goes to pot, of course - she's a baby, not a robot!

Thanks for your replies. guess I have to find the time have I have the energy to settle rather than just feed. last night was 3 times so progress in steps :)

She's still tiny! DD was over 1 - about 16 months I think - before we stopped the night feeds

I can cope with night feeds, just not 1-2 hourly ones esp as I struggle to get back to sleep and therefore hardly function. A lot of the times not really feeds, just a quick suckle to get back to sleep (she is quite happy with 3-4 hourly feeds in the day).

Sorry I haven't come back - I really want to chat as this is so like my story but I need to find more time to type -tricky when I have so many Christmas tasks undone!
For now let me just say I read everything and intended to sleep train thrn magically a couple of weeks ago we seemed to get back on track.
I currently feed at approx 11 - then anytime between 3-7 am -it's still unpredictable but often that's only one night wake for me .
A month ago this was beyond wildest dreams!
Now I feel like its more down to him than me and am tempted to ride it out.
My DD was an amazing sleeper but currently she is hard work s o that may be influencing judgement.

No problem for not replying, but thank you for a ray of hope. Last night was a bad night (6+ wake ups maybe), but the one before was better so maybe eventually there will be more good ones. Most people telling me to wean, but resisting so far as I can't see it make any difference. Good luck with the Christmas tasks!

Yes Cotton I got so annoyed with people telling me that a bit of baby rice would fix it. Instinctively I didn't think it was an actual hunger issue but of course BF is a lovely easy way of settling them back to sleep.
I think my DS had a sleep regression from about 12 weeks until 23 weeks.
You have my hugest sympathy on the hourly wake ups I felt like a zombie while it was that bad and couldn't even begin to think about strategies for improving it.
I have been on the no cry sleep solution thread and there probably are a few things I tried from that which helped - getting you LO to self settle at bedtime is a good sign I think. Also I tried to do what citydweller said and feed if it had been more than 3 hours but otherwise attempt to cuddle to sleep before resorting to boob out!
The other thing from the book is a bedtime 'lovey' so I gave DS a comforter for naps and then started using it at bedtime too and now I see him reach for it when he stirs in the night ( on the video monitor!)
But anyway I can definitely say keep positive - while you are in the middle of it it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel but we are now making such good progress I actually have started to believe he will sleep all night one day! just don't mention the 9 month regression

If a baby weighs more than 14lbs then medically they are capable of going 12hrs overnight between feeds. This is what I used to bear in mind when I dropped night feeds. Unfortunately our situation is very different as our dd is formula fed, but from 6 months we started trying to see how long she would go without feeds overnight. We noticed an immediate increase in daytime feeds. Now at 7 months we will feed her overnight if she won't settle with cuddles or dummy but its a rarity. She eats so much during the day now.

Thanks Livefor and Purrforaminced pie... I read the No Cry Solution, some things seems to make it worse for us (gradual retreat of boob / finger just prolonged things), but the Lovey is a hit! Last night I read your reply and thought I would try and reinforce it more. She started to whinge when I put her down, so I put it into her hands and success, chewed it a bit and went to sleep no tears, 3 wake ups in the night too :) We are 23 weeks tomorrow, maybe Santa will bring me sleep for Christmas. Hope the same for you :)