I think my 1 yr old is trying to kill me

[Steben]

Ok lighthearted title but sat here in tears. 14 month dd has been ill on and off for months - colds, viral infections, hand foot and mouth you name it. As a result has been up in the night and recently it's been 3-4 times a night. Will only settle with a bottle and then sometimes won't go down. Waking a in the morning getting earlier 5 this morning. I can't take much more, am lying in bed waiting for her to wake, can't get back to sleep when she does wake me. I am getting angry with her which makes me feel like an awful parent but I feel like I am being punished. Daytime sleep is ok usually has a good hour and a half most days. I just don't know what to do dd1 was never like this and the broken nights are killing me. DH helps when he can but he works away mid week.

Got no advice but have a virtual hug! Bump you up and maybe someone else will be along woth support or solution

would it help if she slept in your bed with you?

DD tried to kill me in the same way when she was around the same age. We spent a great deal of money on cranial osteopathy and she slept pretty well for a few months, but now she wakes up most nights again. I just bring her into bed with us.

Hi, what's her daytime routine like? How does she go to bed?

Sorry you're having a rough time, hopefully we can help you out! X

We are also going though this dd was actually doing really well with sleep as we were getting afull night 9/10 but the last few weeks have become hell and the lack of sleep is now making me ill. I Currently feel like my 15mth old is trying to kill me with a slow and painful death. Sorry, no helpful advice but though it might help to know your are not alone in this form of torture.

Just to add, we have always bed shared but dd is now immune to this and now sees our bed as a bouncy castle and me and DH are just I obstacles that need animatimg by being poked in the eyes at 4am.

Thanks for replies soooo good to know am not alone! Tried bed sharing - doesn't work. Daytime routine regular and ok ish - she never been a good sleeper during day! Sigh...anyone else going to bed just hoping for the one wake up?!

Yup. Got two. Ain't one tis other or it's the fucking dh.

I pray hard. If there's a god he's deaf. Well, selective....

Theres a very good reason why sleep deprivation is an effective form of torture. I can't offer any advice - 2yo DS is currently trying to kill us too (he has a medical condition that keeps waking him up) - I just feel slightly better knowing its not just us going through this special brand of hell, contrary to what family would have us believe

I have been in this torture hell for what seems like forever (about 2 years), having made the inexplicable decision to have DC2 and DC3 about 18m apart. Neither of them are good sleepers. (Nor was DC1 but she's been fine since 2.5 ..!) If I only get woken twice it's a VERY good night.

I know how you feel. It's utterly hideous. Can you still get Bedtime Live on iPlayer (think it was on C4 actually but you know what I mean). I think that would have been helpful if I had been awake enough to absorb the advice. Depends what you think your DC's sleep issue is.

Hey OP, what is her bedtime like? What does she do immediately before falling asleep? What kind of approach to changing her sleep patterns are you open too?

Bedtime is fine, bath bottle relatively early 6.30 usually. Goes down fine - will check out that bed time live. Part of me knows I will have to end up doing a cc attempt and part of me also knows that she has got used to being settled with a bottle to get back to sleep. My heart just isn't in cc - not because I am against it per se more because I don't want her older sister to wake and I just can't bear to listen to it!

You might find it is the bottle right before bed causing issues in the night..... I found this explanation of baby sleep really useful. It's a 3 part series, this is the first part:

www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

She does talk about crying methods as a possible solution, but she suggests other things to try too.

I found it really useful to know the theory anyway, you can adapt to your own situation and try whatever method to solve the "problem" you want, if you can work out what the "problem" is.

Hope that helps. I HATED sleep deprivation, and I feel for you.

Also, sorry, if it's not the bottle at bed then if she is now used to drinking a lot at night then it would be more of night weaning issue, which is covered in part 3 so it's good to read to the end!

God I know how ypu feel. Ds woke every bloody hour until he was about 16 months. Dp at the time did not wake up in the night. Im pretty sure I was in zombie mode dor the whole time. Hes 2.9 now and still wakes numerous times a night.

Its hard work and so draining but just keep remembering that it will pass. :)

A couple of ideas;

-At 14 months, she could still need 2 naps and be overtired on 1
-I would stop nighttime feeds. She doesn't need them.
-Also move her bedtime milk early on in her routine - so bath if it's a bath night, pjs, milk, book, upstairs to bed
-Move to a by-the-clock routine so either;

Breakfast 7.30
10am snack
nap 1 10.30 - 11.30
12.30 lunch
3pm snack
nap 2 3.30 - 4
5.30 dinner
7pm bedtime routine
7.30pm bed

or

All food times the same and then sleep from 1-2.30/3. I find this helps with early waking.

-In terms of settling her, keep her in her cot at all costs. Settle by soothing words and a bum or tummy rub only.
-Give her 5 minutes to resettle herself before you go in during night wakings

Oh, sorry, just to add that the 2-3-4 routine often works quite nicely at 14 months too so working with a 7/7 routine

Awake 7am
2hrs awake
Nap 9.00 - 10.30
3 hrs awake
Nap 1.30 -3
4 hrs awake
bedtime 7pm