Coping strategies when getting baby to sleep?

[weeblueberry]

I am a very very impatient person. I've got better since having DD but there are still things that drive me crazy.

When DD won't go to sleep and vocalises for 40mins plus, I start to get tense and frustrated which she then picks up on making her worse. Similarly when putting her down at night or for naps if she falls asleep on me which I'm trying to stop but have paused as she's got a bad cold and then wakes when I put her down I'm getting very close to losing my temper which I know won't help as she's so young.

She's 7 months and I know this is all normal sleep patterns for her, but it's starting to get to me and I need to know how to calm down when this happens so she doesn't pick it up from me?

Deep breaths. Very, very deep breaths.

I'm the same, I get wound up when mine don't settle and it is frustrating, but an adult doesn't just drop off instantly so don't expect a baby to either.
And yes, she would rather be on you than anywhere else, so try and make the transition easier for her, for example putting a blanket over her so it's nice and warm when you lie her down, and shhing as you do it, or even just talking to her.

It's a bugger I know, but the best way I cope is telling myself that actually, it won't last forever, and in a few months it will all have changed. In a few years it won't be like that at all.
Remember she's still tiny and just wants your warmth and closeness right now. Hope it gets better soon.

I'm exactly like you and seem to have been given a dose of patience when DS was born but sometimes it's not enough! I try to remind myself that it's not his fault that he can't get to sleep himself yet, as I need to teach him to do it. Doesn't always work as I always want results to sleep training methods quicker than I can realistically expect and it's v frustrating!

Wine also helps!

Ha! I came to say like indecisive.

I'm with you blue. I seem to have bags of patience in the day but between the hours of 7pm-7am bugger all.

I guess it's not rocket sience....I'm knackered and desperate to have some time to myself/sleep!

Sometimes I get annoyed and have to walk away. Sounds terrible but I only mean for 30 seconds! Just enough to sort my head out. Then I can be loving, understanding mummy again. Soometimes I say sorry to DS and even though he can't understand I feel I've made it better can forgive myself and get on with the job at hand.

So no real advice apart from don't be too harsh on yourself!

I've found writing down the plan for settling at a time separate to when you're actually doing it helps - sounds odd but somehow having it in black and white relieves the pressure and the second guessing that can otherwise creep up on you when you're standing there in the dark.

So for example at the moment I sit in a chair next to DS' cot until he settles - however long it takes although DH comes to take a turn after 45 mins if it takes that long. I know that's the plan that we chose at a non emotionallycharged time so I have confidence in it and find it much easier to be zen when he startles awake after fifteen minutes and proceeds to chunter away for another twenty. ..

Thanks all for your responses.
I think having the plan in place will help. Saying 'it will probably take x minutes, so plan for this'. I think I'm trying to rush it which is bad.

It's less the not going to sleep and more the noise making/wailing. Crying I can handle because she can be soothed but just making groaning noises to keep herself awake feels like torture sometimes...

And yes. Having a glass of wine seems to aid my relaxation in the evening