Is my son having nightmares?

[Willow2]

My toddler has recently started to wake up in the middle of the night, really suddenly and crying hysterically. He usually sleeps through like a lamb and if he has woken it hasn't seemed as extreme as this. He seems relatively easy to settle back down - a cuddle for five minutes or so and then will go back to sleep. It could be that his last molars are on their way (although I wouldn't have thought he would be so quick to go back to sleep as he had me up all night for his pre-molars!) and it's occurred to me that he might be having nightmares. What do you lot think - and what can I do to lessen the chances of nightmares, if indeed that's the problem?

My 3 yo ds went through a phase a few months ago of having 'night terrors'. He would wake up crying and muttering about skeletons in the room. Like you he would go back to sleep after a cuddle. We eventually found out that they were reading a book at nursery about skeletons in your cupboard!! He has since stopped having them. I'm not sure if there is anything else you can do except reassure him when he wakes as you are doing. We have to keep his bedroom door open now with a light on in the landing but other than that nothing.

I've had this a couple of times with my 2, they didn't seem to be fully awake, and there was nothing I could do to console them. Last time it happened to youngest dd, we were at my dad's, with eldest dd in the top bunk, in the end I took dd downstairs to try and wake her (as well as to remove her from the peacefully sleeping one!), as I felt that would be the only way to get her to calm down. When she eventually came round, she did calm down, but it took about 45 mins. As with so many things, I'm pretty sure it is "just a phase"

Willow2, we had this when my son was younger. He was in absolute hysterics, screaming and shouting, and drenched with sweat. But wasn't definitely awake, and wouldn't remember it the next day. ... We called these 'night terrors', and just settled him down, without "waking" him, which seemed to work. A friend suggested he might be too hot (it was summer), and when we tried making his room/bedding/clothing cooler, the episodes did stop .. but that may have been just coincidence!

Willow2, if it continues and/or you are concerned, it may worth checking to see if there have been any changes that he hasn't come to terms with. Our ds has a tendency to go into baby mode when he is upset about something such as a friend leaving his playgroup or childminder. Not sure what you can do even if you do find the source of the problem unless he is upset by a particularly "boisterous" child at playgroup/nursery/childminder in which case you could ask the carers to look out for your ds becoming upset by this child.

Hope he gets back to his normal sleep patterns soon.

Willow2, our son went through this just a few weeks ago - apparently very normal at about this age. He kept waking up and muttering about the Hairy Toe, a scary book we were unwise enough to get out of the Library.
I think almost anything in a toddler's world can trigger these nightmares, so other than the basics of checking the lighting in his room at night - strange shadows as he falls asleep, for example, there is not much one can do except what you are doing, which is being kind and reassuring when they do wake up.
The great Libby Purves told a funny story about a visiting child who had horrid nightmares every time she slept over. It got to be quite a worrying issue until LP realised that the guest room was over the kitchen and the child was hearing, as she dropped off, distorted snippets of TV dialogue - including post-watershed thrillers etc.

Hi Willow2

Yes it could just be bad dreams, you don't say how old ds is, but they are common around 3 to 5 yrs...is it every night or just every so often? Does he seem awake, or is he sort of glassy eyed, thrashing around? You say he is easy to settle down, so it doesn't sound like night terrors, as children with those usually push you away and struggle and thrash around screaming, sweaty and breathing fast, like KMG described.

Are there any changes going on at the moment that might be upsetting him? When you go in to him, have you asked him what has upset him, or if he can remember the dream? If he doesn't want to talk about it, just reassure him he is safe and nothing bad will happen. Explain things that happen in nightmares can't really hurt. It may seem real to him so don't insist it wasn't real, but just reassure him he is safe and you are close and will take care of him. Help him relax and take deep breaths etc, leave a night light on if he doesn't have one. If he can't remember it the next day, don't mention it unless he does. You are probably already doing all the right things - sometimes kids have bad dreams, and there's nothing you can really do to prevent it! Anyway I hope your little boy starts having sweet dreams again soon!

Yet another night of broken sleep. This time took ages for him to settle. I kept going in and calming him and then leaving him, he'd be quiet for a while and then start yelling again. Then I heard a large thump - and his crying got louder. You guessed it, he had got/fallen out of his cot. I think he must have been standing on duvet and toys as can't work out how he did it otherwise. Have now removed anything he can use as a step ladder. He is not quite two yet and only 84cm tall - so it's not as if he's got really long legs, so am hoping this won't happen again for a while. But should I be immediately rushing out to get him a proper bed? Bearing in mind his sleep is so disturbed at the moment - and I think it's dreams rather than night terrors, as he is awake when I go in, plus I heard him calling out "no, no" the other night in his sleep - I am loathe to introduce a new element to bedtime as I can't see any of us getting any sleep. But equally don't want to risk a broken arm or worse. Help!!!

Willow2 - sorry you've had another bad night, you must be shattered. You could try him in low bed with a guard rail (our rail is a Tomy one from Argos £21.99 and I liked it because it's soft (fairly) and extends right underneath the mattress, so difficult to trap little heads/hands in it) You might find that he sleeps better in a bed, as IME, kiddies stay under their covers better and are altogether more comfortable. Also, what about trying a nightlight (if you haven't already). My 3 have them, and sleep alot better with them. I've got the ones that look like plugs and give off a very gentle orange glow, rather then the ones with the dawn/dusk sensors as I find they're too bright. Your ds is a similar age to my youngest ds, and he's having broken nights too at the mo (I think he's getting back teeth, and I've been giving him a dose of Nurofen before he goes to bed, which seems to help) HTH, good luck >