Baby will only nap if being held - HELP!

[Rosiep10]

Desperately seeking advice and suggestions. My 12 week old girl is really struggling with daytime sleep, and we have now reached a point where the only way I can get her to sleep at all during the day is by rocking her and then holding her while she sleeps. Any attempt to put her down, no matter how gently, wakes her up and she starts crying.

Oddly, she sleeps ok in her cot at nighttime, although we swaddle her at night. I want to avoid swaddling her during the day as I am conscious we need to wean her off the swaddle altogether really soon.

She will nap in the baby sling if I am out and in constant motion, not so much in the pram. So I am currently in a situation where I am now holding her for up to three hours over the day as she sleeps, which means I cannot do anything else and am feeling incredibly suffocated.

I'd love to hear any ideas or suggestions people have…I think she's too young to try any form of crying it out or controlled crying. I should also mention that she is just coming out of the early weeks of quite severe colic so I am wary of anything that involves just letting her cry - she can do that for hours!

Thanks in advance for any ideas.

I'm in the same boat with my little one now five months. Sleeps in own bed at night but absolutely refuses naps in own bed through the day. I began resenting all the time spent shaking beds/patting/hairdryer etc and now I have a nap with the little one.

I used to swaddle until four months when dc lost the startle reflex so don't worry about weaning off. people were constantly berating me about how dc would never sleep properly as I'd swaddled.dc would only sleep fot 15mins if not swaddled to give you some perspective on how attached to the swaddle i was.

You've probably tried all the usual techniques ie put down while sleepy, shh shh, patt patt. I used to just laugh when someone suggested these.

Also are you sure dc had colic? Mine has reflux and hates being placed to sleep on back until we got medication.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone x

DD is a little older, 19 weeks, but I've tried all sorts for day sleep! The bouncy chair was brilliant when she was your DD's age, she'd fuss for 5 mins then drop off. I could get up and go to the kitchen, put washing on etc, and if she started stirring I'd just rock her again-made such a difference to have free hands and just be rocking on automatic with my feet!

For the past few weeks I have had her nap in her cot only, as she'll be too big for her bouncy chair soon. 1 hour 50 after her last wake up or as soon as she looks sleepy I do nappy change, put her in we sleeping bag and take her upstairs. Pop the dehumidifier on for the white noise, give her her dummy and march up and down the room in the dark with her in my arms for 10 mins. Then when she's dropped off, spend another 10 min sitting rocking/holding her, then transfer gently to her cot, holding her head or hand if she's stirring.

It's working at the minute. At 12 weeks it was more like 1 hour 15 after the last wake up. Loads of sympathy, if you make a breakthrough let me know! Good luck.

My DD (now 22 weeks) is the same. Have you tried pushchair - with suitable insert - instead of pram? Mine never EVER napped in the pram, so I switched to pushchair at 12 weeks and it worked beautifully. She drops off after 10-20 minutes walking, and stays asleep if I don't jolt her on re-entry. She's a bit refluxy though, which might explain preference for being propped up.

Another advantage is you get a brisk walk a couple of times a day!

I am experiencing this with my 11wo ds too! Any tricks I used to use to get him to sleep now don't work so I have to put him in the sling and go out for a walk! Luckily, when I get back he's in such a deep sleep that I can get on and do things (definitely not sitting on the sofa watching tv) until he wakes for a feed.

I sympathise because if I had to actually do anything productive if really struggle to be honest!

Not very helpful was I?!

I absolutely sympathise with the claustrophobia, however...

My kid was like this. In the end after stressing about it for weeks I enjoyed many many many hours with books and cups of tea with her fast asleep on me. I stopped fighting it and just got massively into my reading.

I don't believe in the "bad habits" line btw,I think they just go through phases and do things at their own rate. (Baby is now 14 months old and naps for 2.5 hours on her own and uninterrupted without any effort whatsoever)

I hope that doesn't sound unsympathetic! I remember the frustration well! But I also remember how happy I was when I learned to expect it and look forward to my cuddle/read every day.

Mine was like this, and it was around this age that it started getting to me too. Not least because I'd often get stuck under a sleeping baby desperate for the loo, or hungry for lunch, etc.

She always hated the pram (with the carrycot set up), so at 3.5 months I switched it to the pushchair set up with a very snuggly fleecy liner/ cosy-toes type thing. I know that is way earlier than the advice, but she always had good neck control and trunk strength and the pushchair reclined to nearly flat. Anyway, she LOVED it - loved being able to see the world from a different perspective and very quickly started sleeping quite well in it too, so for ages we did most of her daytime naps in that.

And I echo what squid says - now at 8 mo, DD does most of her naps in her cot, but can nap in the sling or pram if necessary, and takes naps of suitable/ appropriate length too. Who knows if that's due to the inordinate amount of mental and physical effort I've expended on her naps, or just because she would have done it anyway!

(and secretly, I rather miss those days of a baby snoozing on my chest while I watched tv/ read books on my kindle/ mumsnetted on my phone)

Could you try a Gro bag not quite a swaddle but cosy and she will associate with sleep time. I always put dd in her little Gro bag for naps and it seemed to work for us. Good luck

My 14 week old dd is exactly exactly the same! She'll only go to sleep in daytime held in my left arm. to be honest initially this was a relief as she wasn't napping at all and we were regularly having serious hours of screaming due to over tiredness so I was pleased. I have once or twice got her to sleep on the bouncy chair but to be honest she only lasts half the time and I end up trying to get her back to sleep. she thinks daytime starts at 6 and she likes a nap just after 7...even though we often haven't left the bedroom etc she won't be fooled and go back to sleep in the cot, its me or else! She goes down awake at 7 each night without fuss so i'm not too bothered just now. I make sure I've been to toilet, have food and drink within reach and just enjoy the cuddles. As I said to my husband the only thing I'd maybe do if she'd sleep elsewhere its housework so it's no great loss! They're only little for a while and one day you'll miss the snuggles...I already miss the days of forty min breast feed as dd now takes an efficient five mins before she wants to be sitting up and looking about!