Self settling is not a magic bullet

[tinierclanger]

That is all. DD will self settle at bedtime but still wakes every couple of hours. So don't get too hung up on it. :(

Ha ha. I wish someone had told me this! I had huge hopes when we started CIO that she would sleep through since she got off to sleep by herself... Nope... Her sleep is just as shit, except she now is able to fall asleep by herself.

Seems like some babies just wake because they wake!

Was also starting to think this. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. No correlation to number of night wakings.

Bum.

Hey, it's better than not self-settling.

You have my sympathy though as it is soul-destroying when you have high hopes and they don't bear fruit :(

Our top tips for keeping babies asleep for longer periods are:

Warm feet DS2's feet are cold magnets
Sleeping baggies so they can't fling their covers off
Cardigans over said baggies so their arms are warm
Socks over hands so hands are warm
Full stomach, when possible

Obviously these don't always work but we've noticed distinct improvements in sleeping when they are kept toasty. Good luck (to all of us)!

Might try the arm warming, thanks!

I agree. My daughter never self settled and used to sleep 12 hours a night as a very small baby!

Don't I know it. We do everything right, no sleep props and he still wakes up for no reason 1-3 times per week. I appreciate that lots have worse sleepers than DS but it drives me nuts.

And I give out sleep advice after reading all there is to know. Those who can do, those who can't teach.

MumofYuck My LO always sleeps well when its warm, its lovely.

I swear by keeping them warm! This is why I knit horrible jumpers for them.....

Hmmm... Sorry for the massive post below but im interested to hear so many of you say keep them warm- My dd is in a sleepsuit and a sleeping bag (2.5 tog)... Do you put more layers on normally?? She starts off in the cot and then at some point (usually 2-3h later, but occasionally 5h later) will wake and will settle in bed with me. But she is a very restless sleeper and wakes frequently. We have a tempur mattress and it can get warm (I only use a 2.5 tog summer duvet and a hot water bottle to sleep and often have the duvet half covering me as I find it too warm) without the heating on. We are in London though so not as cold as other parts of the uk... Do the rest of you think it sounds like she needs more layers??

I just worry about overheating. We do a vest, onesie and sleeping bag 2.5 tog. His room is 19 degrees usually

yes my ds self settled from a few weeks but still doesn't sleep through as a toddler.

My experience is that self-settling has been necessary for sleeping through, but not sufficient , iyswim.

We had to do, in the following order:

1. teaching to self-settle - used gradual retreat, took just a few nights. Night wakings went from 6-8 to 3-4.

1. making sure comfortable enough to go through the night - warm (fleecy sleepsuit, longsleeved vest plus 2.5tog Grobag at 18 deg ish), dry (good big nappy!), not hungry (lots of food during the day, we do a dream feed too). Night wakings dropped further.

1. CC to get out of the habit of night waking ie stop rewarding it with milk, attention, cuddles, co-sleeping, etc. (If you don't want to do CC and are more patient I'm sure you could use another approach with the same result). That's when we went 7 to 7 ish through (with dream feed at 11).

Self-settling was definitely the first step though, and probably the hardest, so don't despair

I second the big nappy advice! We have started putting DS1 (2.5) in a size 4 nappy because he doesn't wee much at night and DS2 (1.5) in a size 5 nappy because he wees LOADS. So far, they are happy sleepers

agree with necessary but not sufficient

they also have to be full and warm... not ill and not teething.... sufficiently tired but not overtired ... not in bad habits... sigh.