At the end of my tether with 15mo DS sleep

[MrsReacher85]

I have no idea what to do to solve this. DS has never slept well but it's got even worse lately! I rock him to sleep at about 7, then he stays down until around 10-11, I then feed him back to sleep and we're usually awake again by 1. Lately I've then been awake for up for 3 hours at that point!

We're co-sleeping from his first wake up, we had cracked that previously but then had a period of upheaval and illness and it went to pot.

Frankly, I no longer want to be feeding at night and certainly not repeatedly over 3 hours!

We've been to a cranial osteopath twice now and things have got worse!

Basically I have a couple of questions if anyone can help (please!)

1. should I wait until finished with the osteopath before attempting to change anything?
2. I want to try pick up put down I think, should I do this in conjunction with night weaning or separately? If separately, which first?

Thank you for any suggestions/help, I'm knackered!

I think it is essential that your little boy learns to settle himself at the age of 15 months if any of you are going to get a quality sleep. He probably understands a lot of what you say now, so the first thing to do is do your bedtime routine, say 'goodnight, time to sleep now' or something similar, then walk away. He will cry, you can go back and comfort him at intervals that you are happy with, 5 minutes maybe? You can try pick up put down, but I would just try to stroke his hair, cuddle him but not lift him out the cot. Either way is fine, just don't rock him. However long it takes, he needs to fall asleep without that aid.

Crack the initial bedtime self settling, then deal with night weaning if you still need to. Even if you do feed him at night, you should try to stop him before he falls asleep and put him down awake, even if he is drowsy.

The main reason he is not sleeping through the night is because you are helping him to get to sleep every time, whether it is bed time or night wakings. I am from the school of slightly harsh, but I think a little bit of crying/whining from a 15 month old will not hurt him as long as all other needs are met. In my opinion you're going to have to get a little bit tough, as he is an older baby now and bad habits are starting to kick in.

Hope you have some success soon, you must be tired

Thank you, that's pretty much exactly what I'm thinking really. My main problem with leaving him is that he tends to really throw himself around the cot and I'm scared that he's going to hurt himself!

We're also living in a flat at the moment so I'm paranoid about letting him scream too much in case they can hear him.

My 15 mo is a bit of a nightmare too and has got worse recently . He has self settled a few times and sttn but not consistently. We did night wean at 6 mo though by co sleeping.
I'm doing a mixture of gradual retreat but I can't leave him to cry even for 5 mins- breaks my heart
But just wanted to say on a similar thread some said 15 mo is a big developmental milestone - I googled and seems so.
Also understand the flat thing - he is so load if he crus even for a minute or two.

I'm not good at leaving him to cry but starting to feel it may be the only option. I'm currently wondering if he'd be better or worse if I was in the room.

It's so hard to know what to do!

How are you doing gradual retreat? DS would still scream like crazy if I was sat there!

With the flet thing, you could warn the neighbours to expect a few nights of noise.

I liked the Dr Jay Gordon night weaning method. My ds boob monster really took to it. I have to get the energy up to do it with dd boob monstet who has just turned one.

I second warning the neighbours that there might be a bit of crying for a short time, while you try to help your little boy sleep better.

I think it will be worse if you stay in the room, although okay if you go back at intervals. If you leave the room when you say goodnight, then you are giving him a clear message about what is supposed to happen next. It might not take as long as you think for him to settle down and go to sleep. You don't have to leave him screaming his head off, you will go back and comfort him and he will soon realise that it will be okay.

As for hurting himself in the cot, that's a difficult one. I have cot bumpers on my little one's cot as she wriggles around at night and sometimes wakes crying if she bangs her head on the side; I know that they are not advised but we have them quite low, and if she treads on them they just collapse under her feet so she can't use them to lever herself up.

He has airmesh bumpers on the sides but nothing on the top and bottom. He's very steady on his feet now so maybe I just have to trust him not to be too violent.

I will definitely warn the neighbours then, it'll be the first time I've meet them!

Thank you for all your help, all my friends babies sleep brilliantly so I feel very alone in this.

I started by just keeping hand on ds tummy. Then not at all then moving across the room. However saying that we occasionally ( like now) have to go back a stage. I prefer ds to know that I'm there and not deserting him. I will leave him to cry for a moment but too long and he escalates!
Personally I tried the popping in and out for a few days all that happened is that I ave up at 10.00 and cuddled him so that I could go to sleep. Not a fun week -3 hours of popping in and out. He never gave in....the only advantage he would be so tired when got him to sleep at 10 he would sleep through! But be grumpy the next day as too little sleep.
Now he tends to sleep 8 til 3-5 when he comes in with us - otherwise he thinks its play time. I was not god at work after 3 am starts! And won't be settled - an hour of back and forth just made it worse.

I'm not sure if you've seen this thread but we were in the same boat about a year ago and it worked like a dream for us and many others. Take a read here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps?pg=1&order=

Thanks humania, I'll have a read of the full thread in a bit.

Helpfully, DS has now developed a cough which is waking him up so ill have to wait for that to improve I think.