help baby get rid of the 1am feed

[Doudounette]

My Son (4months old) goes to bed around 7pm
he wakes up around 1am then 5am
we changed techniques and now my husband gives him a dream feed around 10/11pm
he woke up at 4 or 5 am for a few nights and I felt like I was living again! :)
but then he started to wake up at 1am anyway
I go and see him, try to calm him but nothing works like feeding
he falls asleep in a few minutes on the breast and goes back to sleep
I know he doesn't need to feed, i know he can sleep longer
He doen't have sleep association because he doen't need the breast at other times, he is able to fall asleep by himself often or with a litte pat and song only...

what would you do?
My husband and I would like to try gentle methods before the CIO method but if he isn't sleeping by 6 months i think I will have no choice!

Your baby is far, far too young for sleep training - he needs to be at least 6 mo & some don't advocate sleep training until they're nearer 1.

4 mo is a time where most babies have a growth spurt so he could well be hungry. This is also a time where sleep regressions happen. For now I'd go with it and feed him - you should start noticing things improving.

4 months is still really tiny, they only have little tummies! 4 months is well known time for growth spurt/change in routine. Any really too young for any kind of sleep training.

How do you know he's not hungry, he may only need a small feed. At 4 months old it looks like he is actually sleeping very well, you're quite lucky. Babies wake at night, and at 4 months old may be waking up for a while more. My 9 month old still needs a few feeds a night.

ok.. i sometimes forget he is small because he is huuuge! :) 8 kg and wear 6-9 months old clothes :)
I am also french and everybody tells me babies slepp at 2 months old but everybody let cry babies there...
my question is why does he sometime wake up and sometimes doesn't...
I wouldn't let him take the "habit" of eating during the night and let it become a problem in the futur
I have read a few articles abd books and I wouldn't create a sleep association
the other thing is that he doen't want the bottle at that times... when my husband tries ti help and give a bottle he is more upset and calms down only in my arms... I really think it is not a hunger problem. how can I calm him down and teach him how to soothe himself?

Sheesh! Give your little one a break. Maybe he's hungry, cold, hot, woken up frightened where you are, is teething & has a real need for milk/comfort/your boob. There's nothing wrong with responding to your baby/child's basic needs.

Don't listen to anybody else! You know it's completely normal that babies wake in the night, babies that sleep through the night at 10/12 weeks are the exception not the rule. In my antenatal group not one of them slept through so early, and three are still not sleeping through at 22 months. Are you happy with what you're doing? You sound a bit pressured by what other people are saying. Your baby sounds like he has a good sleep routine anyway, and at 4 months, what harm is cuddling going to do him?

Dummy and Ewan. Go in, put in dummy and put the white noise on. Continue until settled. Will take him a few days but eventually will self settle if he wakes between morning and dream feed.

Yes, he probably is young for sleep training etc etc But you need sleep. Plenty of time for cuddles and reassurance during the waking hours. Don't feel bad for wanting a night of unbroken rest.

I am open to advices and reassurance but i find the tone here a bit strong
nobody has the right answer I am just trying to find ideas, other experiences and reassurance...
so ok, he is young and everything but I am suffering and I have health issues as well and i don't think my baby likes it when i am tired and sad and not doing anything during the day because he didin't sleep...
I am only trying to find a solution that will be gentle on him and alow me to be the best mum possible in the long run and the short term as well...
any gentle advice in between the "live him be" and the "let him cry out" ?

In all honesty op, it does sound like he may be hungry. Is there any chance of maybe expressing a feed so your partner can do the 1am wake?

I do sympathise though - dd was a nightmare sleeper - but I really won't not advise doing cc or CIO at this young age.

This is sometimes part of being a mother to a small baby, night wakings, night feedings, tired days. Let him be a baby and respond to his needs as you already are, he is waking for a reason, seems like hunger but it could just be that he needs a cuddle and reassurance he is still very young.

*would not not won't not

He probably is hungry. 4 months is a classic growth spurt age, so a small feed is the best answer. You won't be setting up years of night wakings, he's a tiny baby and needs that small feed right now. Babies that sleep through at 2 months are few and far between. Many don't sleep through till gone 1, or longer; DS was still drinking 8oz milk in the night till 2.

Just read your op again, sorry but your expectations are very high, he goes to sleep at 7 and had a feed at 10 and wakes at 1 and 5, id kill for that sleep for my 9 month old!