What time do you get your baby up in the morning?

[FrumiousBandersnatch]

...and what time do you put them to bed?

DD is 15 weeks and ebf. We began to introduce 'bedtime' about 3 weeks ago, as previously we had kept her downstairs with us during the evening to cluster feed and nap, and taken her to bed at the same time as us, around 11.

So now she has her bath around 7.30 and is in bed by 8. She then will sleep for no more than an hour at very best before crying for a feed and I will end up upstairs with her for most of the evening as she cluster feeds and naps. She won't go down properly until about midnight, and her sleep then is alright - usually two blocks of 4-4.5 hours with a feed in the middle.

I have seen other posters advised to put their baby down between 6-7 to find their 'sleepy time' but I wondered what time everyone gets their baby up in the morning to make this work? We have no other children and I am obv on maternity leave so we usually get up about 9. DH is convinced that if baby and I get up earlier, she will go down earlier in he evening. I'm concerned by the cluster feeding as this seems to happen regardless. She refuses a bottle so there is no more efficient way of tanking her up for the night.

Sorry, this is a bit of an essay. So in summary:

When does your baby get up and when is their bedtime?
Did anyone have similar bedtime problems and how did you fix them? Am I being unnecessarily stubborn by refusing to bring DD back downstairs and scrapping bedtime for now?

I would much rather later bed and a longer lay in bed in the morning

At that age we roughly did. 9pm in Moses basket in living room with us, 11.30pm dreamfeed and move to bedroom with us. Feed around 5am some days but not always. Wake 8.30/9am.

Everyone else with 6pm bedtime complained for the 4 years that they couldn't go out for a meal and had 5am wake ups

Watching with interest as my baby has exactly the same routine as yours.

I've tried getting him up earlier but it just means he has one extra morning nap.

I always put mine to bed at 7 pm and woke them up at 7 am regardless of what happened in the night .. Both mine slept through at 12 weeks for 12 hours .. It's hat suited me so won't suit everyone. Once you have a toddler and need to be up and out for school etc in the morning it does help for them to know 7 am is getting up time .

I've got two very good sleepers and I always let them dictate when they went down and when they woke up. Babies sleep better at night if you let them sleep whenever tired during the day and by extension if you let them sleep until they wake naturally in the morning. Waking the baby earlier in the morning is likely to cause more problems with getting them to settle at night because they will be overtired.

Tbh the sleep pattern you describe is pretty normal for this age. Cluster feeding is also important as they are trying to stockpile milk to get them through a longer stretch at night.

The best advice at this age, when they are too young to really start thinking about sleep training or solids etc is to feed as often as you can through the day, and on demand. Put them down for naps every time they show signs of being tired and implement a bedtime routine of bath, cuddles and song then milk at a sensible bedtime. With both of mine this was around 9pm for a while as they needed longer to cluster feed to get through the night. They would then naturally sleep longer, say 8 hours. If I did bedtime earlier I'd be up and down with them unsettled and wanting to feed and it would feel like they'd never settle. Once I realised they needed longer to feed in preparation for that long stretch and pushed bedtime back there was no stress. In time and as they got bigger I could gradually shift bedtime towards 7pm and they slept longer.

Follow your baby's cues and their natural routine. Don't try and force it, just work with it and in the long run they will sleep better and for longer.

Our wee one was still cluster feeding at that stage so it was Moses basket by 8pm in living room with us. If baby wanted to sleep until 9am after morning feeds we went with it.
I needed sleep too and there was no rush to get up!

At 6 months we now have a 6pm bedtime and usually 7am wake up for day (still waking in night, but that's another story).

I would go with whatever works best for you, and whatever maximises the sleep you get.

The ISIS website gives lots of good info. I think they say whatever you do before 6months has little long term effect on sleep patterns/behaviour.

When time comes you can always adjust things by 15mins each night.

I'd enjoy your late mornings while you can.

Actually I've just been thinking and I can remember getting us both ready for bed at 9 and then sitting in bed with a pile of DVDs, a flask of hot chocolate and a hot water bottle in preparation for a few hours cluster feeding before DS would properly go down for the night. It's just one of those things I'm afraid. With DD I was terrified that I'd never get my evenings back and was trying to find ways to make her sleep earlier etc. By the time I had DS I knew it wouldn't last and that it was a stage I had to grit my teeth through. You'll miss those lazy milky cuddles with lights dimmed and crap tv when they are ready for bed at 6.30 and you're struggling to keep them awake until 7 otherwise they'll wake up too early! Honestly you will

Both of my dc have done this and they eventually got into a bedtime. They are usually in bed by 7-8pm now and we didn't do any CIO or cc and they have very healthy sleeping habits. Do what your gut is telling you, if you feel your dc is tired and ready to go down then stick with it but if they're wide awake then why ruin your evening by spending it fighting with your baby? 15weeks is very young to have a bedtime IMO so don't feel pressured to do something that your baby isn't ready for just because some others are 'boasting' about their wonderful routine that they've enforced. I found one of the benefits of ebf is that I got to sit on the sofa all evening feeding while DH cleared up the kitchen

Mine is 5 months and we now have a bedtime routine of shower, boob, cuddle, bed, around the 8pm mark (we are guided by his sleepy cues). Before the sleep regression hit, he fed every three hours and generally woke up ready to play and start the day around 8am.

We started bedtime (and leaving him upstairs) around four weeks ago as he started to "switch on" to the world and there was too much happening downstairs for him to sleep properly - we just ended up with an over tired fussy baby. As yours is still clusterfeeding, you will have to make a judgement call on what works best for you.

Thank you all. It is so reassuring to hear that I won't necessarily 'break' my baby by not forcing a bedtime yet. I have been hung up on what we 'should' do but will try something new tonight. I'll keep her downstairs with us, I grobag and carrycot, until her natural sleep time.

Please keep the positive stories coming!

12 week old here and until about 10 weeks she had such bad colic that she'd be screaming until about 11, but for some reason (luck) would literally yawn and fall asleep at 11!

From 10 weeks that suddenly changed, so now she naturally wants to sleep at 8.15, doesn't matter when I take her upstairs, how much she feeds, 8.15 she sleeps! She can't sleep downstairs with us anymore, light/noise are too stimulating! Mornings depend on how much she wakes at night, but generally it's between 8-9am.

I do tend to change and feed her when I go to bed at 11, but I'm not sure if that's helping or hindering her sleeping better, she still tends to wake at least twice again before 7 then a 7am feed and back down for an hour or 2 while I get up!