How is it physically possible...

[GeorgieJo]

...to function on so little sleep?

My DC1 is 6 weeks today and an absolute delight. Obviously I am biased but he is a gorgeous, happy baby and I adore him.

But, I have absolutely no idea how I am going to cope for the next 3, 6, 12 (please no!) months of having very little and continually broken sleep.

How do you do manage???

He usually feeds every 3 hours. From start to finish it takes about an hour, so I rarely get more than two hours in a row. For someone who was always a 9 - 10 hours a night girl it feels like torture.

I realise I am much much luckier than most (no other children to look after, a relatively content baby who doesn't have reflux or colic etc).

But nonetheless I feel absolutely wrecked. Might also be the cluster feeds, but I feel utterly drained all the time - like a walking shadow.

Have tried co-sleeping, but I find it very difficult to sleep properly because I am so scared, plus it ends up with him feeding every 2 hours rather than every 3.

Does anyone have any other coping strategies? We are ebf, and I am worried about messing up my supply - it took a while to catch up with his demands!) so reluctant to miss a feed and let DH give an expressed bottle.

Really grateful for any advice, tips or reassurance that somehow it is possible...

a mixture of adapting and it getting better. He won't feed at night forever. You will get times when he had longer stretches of sleep. You will also have times when he feeds more due to growth spurts and the like. You will survive though. .

You get used to it. Sorry. Not what you wanted to hear. Your baby may well sleep longer in time. Lots do (apparently, not mine though!).

I use a cosleeper cot. Didn't have once with DC1, but it was my first purchase when pg with DC2. Has definitely taken the edge off the sleep deprivation.

You do find ways to get used to it. Eg I would be up and down to dd in the night but then DH would take over at 5 or so and I'd have a lie in. Also they do start sleeping for longer stretches. But just remember there are also regressions which mean it can get worse before it gets better!

You get used to it. I thought I never would when DD was first born but I did! She normally goes about 3 hours between night feeds but I'm lucky that she's very quick!

However I think we're just starting the 4 month sleep regression, she's started waking every 2 hours and not settling for anything other than a feed. Luckily last night we put her in her own room and she did 3 hours and then 5 and a half hours (longest ever stretch)

Trying not to get my hopes up that she'll do it again, going back to 3 hourly feeds would be a welcome relief to the 2 hour feeds though

In the early days before I got the hang of cosleeping, I'd go to bed at 7 or something mad like that as soon as ds had finished a feed and then he'd stay in his moses basket downstairs with dh till he woke up, then he'd change ds and bring him up to me to feed and I'd plonk him back in his cot next to the bed. That got me 3 hours to start with and it increased in length till it was a bit late even for dh, and then we started putting ds to bed.

Co sleeping is wonderful, and even if you just feed lying down, its more restful than being up feeding, so persevere with it

Go to bed early! For months I went to bed at 7.30pm at least two or three nights a week as soon as I'd settled DS and eaten some dinner... Apparently every hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after and I definitely felt better when I had a really early night. The feeding will get quicker and quicker as he gets more efficient.

Also your body adjusts. I managed a full day at work teaching on no sleep at all after DS's MMR jab when he had a hideous rash all over and was up all night crying. Before DS I wouldn't have managed it, and by god it was awful, but physically your body gets used to it. Eventually...! Good luck!

My first dd was awful and was only really quiet when attached to my breast. We ended up co-sleeping as there was no physical way to manage on such little sleep, thankfully my hv was very helpful and helped me make the bed as safe as possible. For the first 4 months I napped whilst the baby fed/ dozed in the bed and I only wish I had the opportunity to do that now with dd2 who is currently going through the dreaded 4 month sleep regression!!

Missing the occasional bf won't mess with your supply - in fact I found that it helped me because being utterly exhausted all the time isn't great for your supply either! You can always express if you're worried about it. I say this because about 8 weeks in, when I was sobbing with tiredness and unable to have a single coherent thought, DH insisted I go to bed at 9pm and have a whole night off. So I went into the spare room (feeling guilty, and convinced the baby would be distraught without me feeding her) and DH bottle fed her at 11pm and 2am and 5am and 7am, and I woke up after nearly 12 hours sleep and felt AMAZING. Honestly, it was like waking up as a different person. I had so much energy it was unreal (same can't be said for DH but it was a weekend so he spent the rest of the morning in bed... Basically what I'm saying is that every so often you should give yourself some time off, even if just for one night feed, and it'll recharge your batteries.

And like everyone else says, it doesn't last forever. Just feels like it

I did the same as CMOTDibbler in the early days. Gave DS a huge feed at 7, handed him over to DP and went to bed for a few hours of quality sleep. DP often gave him a bottle of expressed milk which got us through until about 11/midnight. It made such a huge difference.

It gradually gets better though and by 9 months he was sleeping 7-7.

Good luck! :)

Just to add to helpful advice you've had - make sure you are drinking lots. I always feel sleepier on the days where I neglect to drink plenty. I don't think you can underestimate what a physical task bf is.

It will get easier as time goes on.

I used to get up with DD1 and feel her sitting up awake. I was absolutely exhausted and could barely function.

With DD2 I fed her in bed. Rolled her out of Moses basket, placed on boob, went back to sleep (or at least dozed) until she finished boob 1. Rolled her onto boob two. Dozed more until she was done. Rolled her back into Moses basket. And I felt a million times more human!!!

So it's not fully co-sleeping, just dozing while feeding instead of staying awake.

They do feed quicker as they get older. My top tip is to get as much daylight as possible, both for you and the baby. I honestly believe that it helps babies' body clocks understand the difference between night and day and that will make them start to do longer sleeps during the night - once they're doing four/five hour stretches during the night it all gets much easier.

Obviously this is not the perfect time of year to give this advice, but it's not pissing down or snowing yet, and even opening all the curtains and sitting in your brightest room is better than nothing.

I used to get 10 hrs sleep a night before DS and even throughout pregnancy never once woke in the night for a wee or any discomfort. SO like you it was a big shock to the system.

Like others i expressed a bottle for DH to give the midnight feed. I would do the 9pm feed, go to bed at 10pm and then DH would stay up till midnight and i would then do the 3am feed. It meant i got a solid 5hrs a night. At weekends i would have a morning nap and leave an expressed bottle so i got another 4-5hr chunk of sleep two days out of seven. It sounds a little amount but you do adapt and cope.

Also i co sleep and night feeds were very quick and often i barely woke for them.

just to give you some hope my 12 week old only wakes once or twice a night now and I feel totally fine not so much when dd1 keeps me up the entire time between the two night feeds

I dunno how, but dd and I managed somehow. She didn't sleep a single unbroken night for 18 months, and then not reliably until she was 2, last months. Even now, she will wake and cry in the night, but usually settles herself. I used to sometimes get to work after being up several times in the night and have no recollection of the journey. I couldn't probably tell you where I'd parked.

It gets better very quickly, I promise. The time between feeds will get longer and your baby will become much faster at drinking!!

Try cluster feeding in the evenings to really fill the baby up too.

Thank you so much for all the support and advice!

It is lovely to have so much encouragement - it sometimes feels like I am living in a parallel universe of baby-land (which consists entirely of feeding and trying to stay awake!).

Really grateful to hear that we all go through it, and somehow it does get better...

I will definitely try expressing a bottle next weekend for DP to give, so I can go a little longer. Very reassured to hear that that hasn't caused supply issues for any of you.

And in the meantime I will try to do more feeding lying down.

Thank you again.

I could have written this a few weeks ago, my dd too was ebf and until she was about 10 weeks old i was getting 1-2 hours sleep a night. I look back at it now and wonder how i functioned. It does get better. She started going 4 hours between feeds, then 6, now at 6 months she is waking for just one feed a night. We found a bedtime routine helped from about 8 weeks. Dont really have any advice but reassurance that it doesnt last forever. Well done youre doing a great job