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Urgent help please x

9 replies

JessRiley96 · 20/11/2013 14:57

Hiya, i'm 17 years old and a first time mum to my 1 month old son, he's my whole world.. I'm looking for a little advise, The problem I'm experiencing is he doesn't tend to like sleeping at night, he's a nightmare to get to sleep. During the day he's perfect, we both wake up around 9, I bath and dress him then we do day to day activities (go into town, clean up, cook ect) he has a bottle every 3 hours and naps between. Occasionally he will stay awake abit but rarely. When it comes to bedtime he won't sleep, I give him his bedtime bottle cuddle him abit then put him into his Moses basket to sleep but then he suddenly has a whole lot if energy and will be awake for hours. I am exhausted and in desperate need of some advise on changing his body clock so he'll sleep. I'm exhausted I try sleep whilst he does, but I've a house to keep running so i don't have time. I don't know if its silly asking for this advice but I really need some advise/guidance. Thank you in advance xx

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 20/11/2013 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuddingAndHotMilk · 20/11/2013 15:17

Your baby is only 4 weeks old and doesn't know night from day yet. It sounds like he's sleeping a lot in the daytime so maybe keeping him awake and occupied for short periods of time in the day and getting outside in the daylight might help. But babies at that age won't sleep through the night yet.

Some people find the baby whisperer helpful to ensure they get the activity time in but without the little one getting over tired (they shouldn't be awake for more than 90 mins at a time at this age). It didn't work for me but I'm very much more baby led.

Be kind to yourself - housework can wait! Sleep when you can and enjoy the precious time with your LO. They grow so fast - my DD is nearly 16 weeks already!

moldingsunbeams · 20/11/2013 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fcknits · 20/11/2013 15:55

Hi JessRiley96,

I'm sorry, honeypie, but you'd be a very lucky mommy if your 1 month old baby was 'sleeping through'! Mine didn't sleep through until 4 y/o!!

Babies have growth spurts around 1 month and 3 months old - expect to be really knackered at those 2 stages and be comforted that everyone else (even those following super strict routines and controlled crying) has to go through exactly the same!

The rest of the time, what will help is limiting daytime naps (easier said than done), encouraging 'self-settling' (so you don't have to run to him as soon as he stirs), starting solids a bit early and - if it's something that suits your parenting style - strict routines.

As you've mentioned a bottle, I assume you are using formula milk? You can get slightly thicker formula for the last feed of the day (before you put him to bed), which stays in the tummy a little longer than regular formula. Food doesn't really help until 3-4 months. At that stage, you could try encouraging him to eat some baby rice (mixed with his usual milk) before he goes to bed. Just like the thicker formula milk, it will keep his tummy fuller for longer so he doesn't have to wake so frequently.

If you manage to coax him into a routine, blackout curtains and night-lights can help him to understand the difference between daytime and night-time. When it's bedtime, you put up the blackout curtains, keep lighting to a minimum and, when you go in to settle or feed him, avoid switching on the main light. If he's willing to use a dummy, those can be really comforting (babies love to suck anything) - get glow in the dark dummies! It'll give him a chance to find it himself, when he's in his crib. (In fact, stick several in his crib!)

The round-the-clock feeds will not taper off, until he's past the 3 month growth spurt. :( When they do, try doing 'dream-feeds' - that's where you pre-empt the night-time waking by feeding him at a designated time (say 11pm or even once in the evening and once in the morning) when he's still half asleep and dosy. ;) The principle is: if they don't fully wake up, they'll drink their milk on autopilot and go straight back to sleep. Well... that's what it's supposed to work like!

Hope some of these tips help you! And, please remember, you don't need to have a perfect home right now. Babies (and small children) simply don't notice the mess and adults will understand that you are caring for a baby! As you have just one child, you can try and have catnaps whenever he's napping too. It won't help with the sleeping-through at night... but it will help with your energy levels. xx

RowanMumsnet · 20/11/2013 17:28

hello there

We've moved this to Sleep now (as this topic is really for MN Bloggers)

Best of luck OP

Helenc19 · 20/11/2013 20:45

Hi jess
Try to keep him awake more in the day. A eat, play, sleep routine is good, after his feed keep him awake and entertained until he shows signs of being tired which for a 1 month old will be 60-90 minutes after waking.
For daytime naps at home keep the room light and don't creep around being quiet.
For nighttime set a time for bed and start a bedtime routine, try bathing him as part of it instead of in the morning. Baby massage might help him relax have a look to see if there's any classes near you, sometimes health visitors run them for free. Keep nighttime quiet and dark and even avoid talking to baby too much.
It may take a while for him to switch his body clock round so keep at it if it doesn't work immediately, good luck.

Tiredemma · 20/11/2013 20:48

I have a 11 week old DD - I have loosely followed this

noobmommy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/EASY-Schedule-Cheat-Sheet.pdf

google EASY on internet- should explain a bit more in detail - you sound like you are doing a great job!

Tiredemma · 20/11/2013 20:49

and this

noobmommy.com/2008/12/easy-routine-from-baby-whisperer.html

asandwichshort · 20/11/2013 20:52

Also try and sleep when he does during the day.

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