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Original poster

Bringing bedtime earlier

14 replies

Toklastennis · 19/11/2013 20:55

Ds is 4 months old. In the past he has stayed with us until he drops off - anywhere between 9pm and 1am

I want to move his bedtime earlier - partly so that I can get the evenings back (we end up spending all night whispering in the dark so as not to stimulate him) and partly so that we can all get up a bit earlier in the morning

Any tips? I have done the whole bath, book, bed routine which worked for 2 nights and now is failing miserably. For the last week he just wakes up as soon as I put him down. I think he's too young for CIO or CC. I have been trying to put him to bed between 8 and 9.

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Sammie101 · 19/11/2013 21:04

Have you tried putting him down when he's sleepy but awake? He is most likely cry and cry but as long as you comfort him and try not to pick him up unless he is really getting distressed just wait till he settles down and then leave the room.
We did this with DD who is a few weeks younger and we were up and down settling her and putting her dummy back in for a few nights but now most nights we put her down at 7 and don't hear a peep from her (god bless that dummy!)

We also stick to the same routine every night so she knows it's bedtime. However I think we got very lucky with DD because I'd noticed during the night she wasn't needing me to settle her to sleep as much and it wasn't too much of a struggle (we're not that lucky though because she wakes up every 2 hours, 3 on a good night Confused)

Sammie101 · 19/11/2013 21:05

*will, not is, must proof read!!

fflonkl · 19/11/2013 21:18

My DD used to do this - would only sleep after 10pm, even with bath/massage/feed/bed routine. She wouldn't go to sleep in her room, so we ended up having her with us in the living room. Sometimes she'd be asleep/feeding on my lap, other times she'd be wide awake and happily playing on her mat!

However when she was about 5++ months old (she's now 8 months) I noticed that she was getting sleepier earlier, so started feeding her in her room, and then when she fell asleep, put her in her cotbed. It took a good while to settle her to begin with - up to an hour plus, and often she'd be awake again within an hour.

Now though she goes to sleep between 7-7.30 after dinner/bath/massage/lullabies/feed, and usually sleeps till her dreamfeed at about 10; and thank god for this, because we're going through a major regression at the moment with her waking up every 2ish hours between 10-7!

Not sure I have any tips really but wanted to share as I remember it being utter rubbish not having evenings, and having to eat either one-handed or with my plate suspended above DD's head whilst she slept on my lap!

Original poster
Toklastennis · 19/11/2013 21:38

Thanks sammie - I did that for 2 nights and thought it was going to work, but now ds just wakes right up as soon as I put him in his basket - not ctrying, just wide awake (until I leave the room - then he cries ...)

fflonkie that sounds exactly like ds! Everyone seems to say that by this age he should have an early bedtime. But do you think if we wait it might just get better? I really feel for you going through a regression at the moment ...

OP posts:
LindsayS79 · 19/11/2013 22:14

How much is he napping during the day?

lolalotta · 19/11/2013 22:30

OP, I think you should try putting him to bed between 6.00pm/7.00pm. By. 8.00pm I think he will be past it and very overtired. Once my 12 week old DD is overtired I have no chance of putting her dien successfully, she wakes every ten minutes or so. Try it! I hope it works for you too! Smile

lolalotta · 19/11/2013 22:31

*dien= down

fflonkl · 19/11/2013 22:49

Toklastennis, as they say, all babies are different Smile All my NCT friends had babies who slept at 7 at that age. I did try to put DD down earlier but it just made us both more miserable!

I think maybe stick with your normal bath/bed routine in any case so that it's in place once your DS is ready to go down earlier? And keep trying to settle him after that but know when to admit defeat so that you're not still struggling 3 hours later!

FWIW it took me about 6 weeks of trying to settle DD earlier until she finally cracked it, and in the course of doing this we had evenings where she refused to sleep after bath and reverted back to a 10pm sleeptime! But we did get there in the end.

(Now I just need to tackle her night sleeps!!)

Original poster
Toklastennis · 19/11/2013 23:29

He has three naps a day, which last about 30 mins to an hr. His last nap is normally 4.30 to 5, so he should be ready to sleep again by 7.30. I've tried putting h down around 6.30 as I read that's a baby's 'natural' sleep time, but it was laughable really. He is just wide awake, happy and playful at that time

Oh fflonk! 6 weeks! I might just decide to let him go to sleep late forever ... I don't think I can cope with 6 weeks of these nightmare evenings ...

OP posts:
fflonkl · 20/11/2013 03:10

It wasn't that bad, honest Smile

Once she was ready to go to sleep earlier it wasn't too difficult to settle her, it just took a bit of time (ie usually 45+ mins bf-ing).

What took 6 weeks to achieve though is getting her to consistently stay asleep between 7 and her dreamfeed - in the beginning she would sleep for maybe an hour then be up again but this sleep gradually lengthened. If she woke up I normally took her out and she would have a little play before going back to bed at 10 again.

If your DS is ready try it anyway. Even an hour in the evening gives you time to eat in a civilised manner!!

LindsayS79 · 20/11/2013 11:31

That's not a lot of napping. How long does he sleep at night once he's down? Does he get cranky at any point in the evening? My LO naps the same as your DS but gets cranky at 6:30/7pm and that's when I know it's bedtime. If I miss that cue then it's very hard to put her down at all. Wakes up frequently and I need to use the dummy to settle etc

Littlebagoflaughter · 20/11/2013 15:43

The bedtime routine only helps if it is associated with going to sleep - you have to find the sleepy time before bringing in the routine IYSWIM. I waited until ds was fairly regularly doing his longest stretch of sleep from a similar time each night which was 10pm when he was small. I then started the routine so that he would finish breastfeeding around 10pm and got him to sleep before putting him down. Once he got old enough to be sleepy earlier I moved the routine back gradually so that he now goes to bed at 6.30pm. I then worked on the self settling because the routine was now reliably getting him totally primed for sleep. I also experimented to find his perfect bedtime, just half an hour can make a huge difference. Like fflomkl it took quite a few weeks for him to reliably settle and sleep through the evening and this can still go awry if he's overtired etc. Good luck and enjoy your evenings once you get them back!

Original poster
Toklastennis · 20/11/2013 21:12

Thanks everyone - he does seem to get tired around 6.30/ 7, but he won't go to sleep at that stage, with or without a routine. Well, he did twice, which has confused me ... I have decided to take a break from worrying about it for a while, and to see what he does naturally for a few days, then try to fit the bedtime routine in around that.

OP posts:
LindsayS79 · 20/11/2013 22:37

Yeah don't stress about it. We fell into a routine purely by accident. I was out later with her tonight and I really struggled to settle her as she was overtired. Had to resort to using the bloody dummy...!!
You'll probably find you'll fall into something gradually

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