9 month sleep regression survivors - help me! We still haven't recovered from the 4 month regression...

[emeraldgirl1]

DD is 8 months and 1 week and I think, with a sinking heart, that we are heading into a sleep regression. (does that sound possible at this age?)

She has never been a great sleeper and the 4 month regression was hell, took about 6-8 weeks afterwards to get anything like a decent night's sleep (and I use the word 'decent' with a hollow laugh) HOWEVER for the last 2-3 weeks (whoo-hoo) she had just been starting to sleep BRILLIANTLY in the day time, perfect length naps at regular times etc. Night sleep was also improving, still not great but distinct improvement especially after (thanks to advice on here!) I turned the monitor off...

Fpr the last 3 nights it has all gone to hell.

Early waking again, getting earlier by the day. 5.30 on Saturday, 5am y'day, 4.50 today. This morning I was driving her round the streets at 5.20am to get her back to sleep asap (utterly miserable and she had woken three times in the night so I was knackered) because yesterday I made the mistake of trying to get her back to sleep, failing after 1.5 hours, and then mucking up the day's nap schedule because of it. So today I thought best thing was ot get her back into nighttime sleep asap (which she did do after 5 mins in car) and then try to stick to regular nap schedule later in day.

Of course, she is now suddenly only napping for 45 mins at 9am instead of her previous 1hour 15... so she has woken up tired... so it is going to be a battle to get ehr to stay awake until 12.30ish (her usual lunchtime nap) so she will not eat lunch as she will just cry with tiredness, and then will be so overtired she can't settle...

HELP!!!!! I don't know what to do.

I have a huge amount of work to do (I work from home) so can't sleep when she sleeps, not even for a few weeks until we are out of it.

I have some childcare but even so I am wondering how to cope.

I have been sleep deprived for 8 months already and don't know how to survive it getting any worse than it already is.

DH can't help at night-times (won't go into reasons as is long and dull but basically I have to do ALL night wakings myself) - he helps in every other way, cooking, cleaning up etc but the nights/early mornings are just me.

I am already getting grumpy with DD which I hate. It's not her fault.

I am so tired already, driving around at 5am is crazy when you are sleep deprived, I had to keep pulling over to take a little rest but then she would wake up again...

Can anyone give ANY advice?

She is eating well and I am trying to 'exercise' her as much as possible as she is a massive wriggler and trying to crawl etc, this strategy was really helping her appalling sleep until now but I need more ideas.

Am sounding quite cheerful but I really am struggling :(

I have been there and come through it the other end! I don't know how but I just sort of struggled thru. Ds has always been an appalling sleeper and nap fighter, never slept more than 2hrs without waking since birth and only naps 30mins. I think it was around then that I started cosleeping. Also someone shared this link with me at the time which I found comforting to read askmoxie.org/blog/2009/03/a-reminder-about-sleep-regressions.html
Not got a specific answer sorry but sometimes it just helps to know people are in the same boat. Any chance you take some downtime/holiday from work just while this is happening? It won't be like this forever. Good luck xxx

Thanks Rockabilly - helps to hear!!! Will check out that link.
Nope, no chance at all of taking any holiday... quite the opposite in fact :(
At the mo I am just trying to remind myself that it WILL end... not sure when, exactly, given that she was a bloody awful sleeper to begin with.

It's disheartening too as things were getting better, naps had become a real dream, and you get your hopes up...

No advice here, only massive sympathy. I logged on to look for advice too as my 9 month old is going through something similar - I am broken today!

He has always woken in the night, pretty much always twice but sometimes 3 times. For the easy life I have just been feeding him back to sleep each time, which as he's back to sleep again in 10 mins was very do-able!

For the last week or so (he's 39 weeks now) he's been a nightmare to get to sleep and then the longest he's going is 2.5 hours at the start of the night followed by wake ups/screaming/writhing/wanting to play sometimes every hour or half hour.

We've never go slept but have been bringing him into bed these last few nights. For all the good it does! It stops him being upset but then takes him over an hour before dropping off, and me and DH are covered in bruises from his pinching and grabbing!!

My DH wants to do some sleep training but not sure it will work if he's going through a developmental leap.....

No help, sorry. But I'm here with you!

I mean co-slept of course!

Ah, Jackie, I think I love you.
So sorry you're suffering.
But yep, it's EXACTLY the same here.
The writhing!!!! What's the deal with the writhing??!
Wh have alos neve co-slept (apart from the occasional cuddle at 6am etc) but now am bringing DD into bed any time from 2ish onwards... but what good does it do??! She just writhes!!!
I hate myself for this but when she is sooooooo cheerful and ready to play at 5am I could just cry.
Is it a learning-to-crawl thing, do you think? Does teething make it all worse?

My now 13m old was like this.

At 9m,I introduced a dream feed when I went to bed between 10 and 11 (much to the disgust of my mum and all the other people who think that a baby shouldn't need feeding at night at that age). But I really didn't know what else to do.

It really worked to reduce the night wake ups and I was getting lie ins until 6.30-7ish. The clocks changing messed it all up again but I seem to be getting back to 6.30/7ish starts. Touch wood!!

Sorry, I forgot to add lots of sympathy. I know exactly how you feel. Esp not being able to sleep in the day as I have a 3yr old too.
It's truly horrid. I have no tips as to how to cope with the tiredness either. I never thought I'd get through that period but I did somehow.

So nice to have some, extremely tired, company!

The writhing is very definitely new - he's not happy in his cot, or being held, he just arches his back and writhes and wails! Argh!
He's only got the start of one sharp fang so far (no sign of bottom teeth yet!) so I'm wondering whether it is teeth related, his finger is constantly in his mouth.

He's been crawling for 2 months though so I don't think it's that, he's standing up though (not independently, pulling up on stuff and cruising a bit) so standing up in his cot wailing is a new addition to his repertoire!

Doit I might try the dream feed actually, my sis suggested the same to try to prevent the night wakings. Things can't get much worse anyway!
Can you remember when you dropped it?

I haven't dropped it yet! That's my current problem!
I'm too scared to stop. I did try reducing it but then the clocks changed and it all went to pot so I went back up to a full bottle again!

I'm in default parenting mode now - burying my head inthe sand and will deal with that when I'm less tired! Am tired this time because of poorly 3yr old, not the little one!

Oh god I feel a bit of a failure!! The dream feed thing wouldn't help as we have not yet dropped any kind of a night feed for DD!!! She has had a bottle in the night the entire time, just depends what time she wakes for it... Any time between 11 and 1 usually though we had a glorious patch of 4am ages back... We did try making it a dream feed a few months ago but it gave her v bad wind and made her waking even worse (cos of not burping after feed)... But her wind is almost non existent now so perhaps a dream feed is the answer again. Just so that DH could do that at 11ish (he could do that) and I could get a sleep til she wakes to play.

Have never liked idea of dream feed though... Feels a bit mean to stir her at her best time of night! Plus have heard of people struggling to drop it? Mind you it's not as if we are close to dropping any kind of night feed so maybe is silly to worry about that!

I felt the same about disturbing her during her best period of sleep but just went with it as something to try. I always popped her upright on my chest/shoulder and patted gently until she burped. Was surprised that I always got a good one, her having been a nightmare for burping a few months earlier.

It is all very difficult and kids are all so different too.

I hope you find something that works soon

Ok- I hope I can offer hope. Ds was an awful sleeper- AWFUL. Every sleep regression/bout of teething/cold would set him back from 'good' (only needing a few settles a night) to horrendous.

He is now 12mo, and I could weep with joy to tell you that (on the whole, some bad nights aside) he sleeps through the night. This started a couple of weeks before his birthday. The other night he slept for 13.5 hours!

I say this not to torture you, but to offer a ray of hope. I didn't think he'd sleep through until he was four or some shit like that.

Things that seemed to help:

• leaving him for three mins each time he woke. Didn't feel too long, and- miracles- most times he self settled.
• wrapping him up warm: long sleeves vest, fleece babygro, 2.5 tog sack.
• cutting out early morning feed (I know this is not something you'd do right now, but when lo is a bit older). He used to have a feed at 5ish, then go back to sleep. We resettled him at that time for a couple of nights, then he got he message. Now he just has a breastfeed at bedtime.

I have now cursed myself of course,by being smug, and his sleep will go haywire again

Sorry, had not read your posts about not dropping night feeds when I suggested dropping early morning feed! Don't feel like a failure. It is so hard when your baby doesn't sleep. When ds wakes up early, there's still a part of me that thinks 'I'll just feed him' even tho he's virtually weaned and I probably wouldn't even have enough milk.

Okthen thank you for that, it gives me much hope!!

Last night was better(ish) for us - awake at 12, 3 and 5 then up for day at 7.30. At each wake up I'm feeding to get him back to sleep, which I know is probably wrong/not helping, but I've got his cold and I'm sooooo tired all I want is to go back to sleep!

Leaving for 3 mins sounds do-able to me. That has happened before by mistake when I've heard him wake, switched off the monitor to go to him but been so exhausted I've fallen back asleep! (insert guilty mother emoticon here).

I've also been wondering about the cold... Might invest in fleecy sleep suits now its got proper chilly. It was down to 17 in his room last night so pretty nippy.

Yep three minutes doesn't feel too agonising, and it's amazing how often ds settles himself.

Hi all

emerald hi again, I could have written your title! We are not really coping either and have been stuck on a scale of bad to awful sleep since the 4m regression. Gone thru but not recovered from the 9m one (dd now 10mo) complicated by illness, being stuck in one of the 'wonder weeks' developmental leaps, trying to walk and teething. Phew! I also do all nighttimes and am back to work soon. Dd also does the writhing, refuses to cosleep, and wants to play at odd hours of the morn!

So I probably can't offer much advice but am a co sufferer!! Its a comfort to know others are in same position - depressing though it is - and even more so that others have got thru it!!

On the early wakings, we have a similar pattern. Occasionally she will go longer but only if she has been up for a feed in the night. I couldn't hack driving at that time!! (I can barely cope with it in the day at the mo lol). I have read (on baby whisperer sleep forums, highly recommend) that its a sign they are starting to transition to one nap, so the basic advice is to cap one nap and let them have a longer sleep for the other, as well as keep them up for a fair while in the morn (think you're meant to increase to around 4 hrs but check), so they learn they can't quickly catch up, so stay asleep longer. In theory. We are still struggling with it.

do it now good idea on dreamfeed. Have also been avoiding for similar reasons to the others. How do you actually do it without waking them tho? I fear it would annoy her and make her wake fully.

ok thanks for reassurance. How did u resettle AF 5? Have tried that rather than feed but she just gets more awake, bites, pulls my hair etc. Will also try the 3mins. Did yours stand and cry when woke? Mine does and just seems to get more het up if I don't get in there quick tho!

And hi Jackie lots of sympathy too!! Cold is an issue for us - have you tried the 3.5tog sleeping bags? I use if she wakes in early morn and is v cold. Haven't used fleecy sleepsuits as heard they weren't massively safe as not breathable like cotton but goodness knows where I read that and at the mo j could well have dreamed it lol!!

Look forward to following along with you all and hope things improve for us all soon!!