How did you night wean your older child?

[Zappo]

I night weaned my eldest DD (at about 2.5)by letting DH settle her at night. She screamed a lot at first and I lost the courage of my convictions a few times and went up to feed her. Then DH said I was being cruel as in effect we had gone back to square one and her crying had been for nothing.

In the end I started to go out in the evenings and leave DH to settle DD. If I couldn't hear her I couldn't intervene. It quickly got easier and once DH could get DD off to sleep, he was able to settle her if she cried out at night. We slept separately and if DD woke up she went into DH. In the end she could be settled verbally.

Fast forward and I now have another baby who is now almost 3. I am very tired having been woken up in the night by one child or another for 6 years. DD2 wakes up at about 12 (although she has slept through a handful of times) and comes in with me for the rest of the night. On a good night she will wake once or twice for the rest of the night. On a bad night 6 times. She wants breastmilk every time to get her back to sleep. I really want to wean her at night but found the whole process with DD1 so difficult. With two to think about I don't really want to go out in case DD1 gets woken up by any screaming/crying.

I don't want any screaming/crying at all really (who does). I keep thinking perhaps she'll just start sleeping through on her own regularly soon. But what if she doesn't? DH thinks we owe it to her to help her to self settle. He thinks i need to give up breastfeeding completely and that it's that that's the key to the problem. I wish I knew if she was waking for milk- I don't know why she wakes so often some nights- there's no discernible pattern.

If you weaned an older child- how did you do it? Any pearls of wisdom please?

Starball? Anyone?

Bumping your thread and watching with interest.
DS1 night weaned himself at about 18 months as I was pregnant and had hardly any supply anyway, although he 'd still nurse in the day. DS2 has just turned 2 and wakes all night long, and wants milk every time, physically attacking me if I refuse.
Google Dr Jay Gordon method of night weaning - it's as gentle a method as you can get. We attempted it a few months ago, but gave up as it was too traumatic for DS2. My problem is that I'm too exhausted to try to implement any changes - I end up falling asleep and he helps himself

Hi stufedcrusty. Thanks for bumping. Yes I have read about Jay Gordon's method before. I'll have to re read. I do try to refuse DD2 in the night and offer her a cuddle instead. Usually I still have to feed two sides then she'll accept a cuddle and go off on her own (so she can fall asleep without boob in mouth).

I can deal with one or possibly two wake ups but I never know what the night is going to be like. It would be so great to know I'm guaranteed a chunk of the night to myself and that I could go out on occasion without worrying about her waking up and no one being able to get her back to sleep.

Could something be waking her? Reflux, food intolerances or breathing problems (does she snore?)

Food intolerances were my DCs issues so I had to be careful with diet. Dairy, especially raw milk was the problem. What are her poos like?

Is she in a bed? I'd set her up in a bed, set up a mattress for you and resettle her in the bed. You can talk to her and tell her to sleep in her bed and you will stay with her.

I will add my youngest is nearly 2 and now sleeps through. She doesn't have cows milk (neither does her brother), minimal windy foods eg onions/cauliflower/brocolli/peas - one small portion a day. No spicy foods either.

Watching with interest as 18-month old DS2 feeds all night, rarely going 1,5 hours without waking up...

Sui, have you ruled out diet and physical causes?

We did the Jay Gordon method just before DS turned 2, as I was pregnant. It really was ok. Think we had one or two nights that were a bit horrible and when we ended up getting him up and having a drink and snack downstairs just to calm him down. But when I say horrible, I'm talking less than an hour of crying, not hours and hours. I liked it because I could stay with him and cuddle him, it didn't feel too harsh at all or I wouldn't have continued.

It did signal the beginning of the end of bfing for us though. As soon as he didn't need it to settle to sleep, he stopped asking full stop.

Don't think she has food intolerances. Both mine have always woken a lot at night (and napped well in the day when they were napping).

She is sensitive to heat and cold though(wakes up more durig heat of summer or when it suddenly changes temperature at night) I never know whether she is too hot or too cold (unless she is obviously hot to the touch or feels cold).

She has always been in a toddler bed. I have tried to resettle her in her bed and sometimes she will go back (if it's early enough). if it's later in the night, DH brings her into me.

We are soon moving but currently (due to lack of space), DD2 shares with DH and I sleep downstairs. DH brings her down if it's early hours and I don't hear her wake up.

I'm hoping once we move and she has her own room, I can start settling her up there.

I nightweaned dd1 just before her second birthday. I explained that mummy was going to run out of milk at night time but there would be some there in the morning. I used a gro clock as a visual aid so she knew if she could see stars then it was water and cuddles, milk when the sun was up. We didn't have many tears although the clock did get knocked over a few times :) Unfortunately for us it didn't solve the night waking, although it did reduce the number of them

Could you try popping a fleece blanket over her when you go to bed to keep her cosy?

I wore a heavy duty sports bra for a few nights and told DS that I couldn't get 'bubby' out and he needed to have a cuddle. He seemed to accept this pretty quickly aged 3.

SteamWisher

yes I do put extra blankets on when it's cold. Her duvet is lighter than mine so sometimes difficult to tell whether it's cold as I feel warm. I tried putting a bigger adult sized duvet on her the other day but I think she found that too hot.

I think it's the randomness of the wake-ups. I really ought to keep a log as there have been occasions where she has gone right through ( I never know why!)

Thanks all for sharing your experiences.