Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

How to get a co-sleeping baby to sleep on her own in cot

9 replies

rumtumtugger · 16/11/2013 22:32

Dd is 3 months old, ebf, and cosleeping with me. She naps in the day in a sling, typically whilst I am on the move. She will occasionally nap in her pram, but will wake when it stops moving. She pretty much only sleeps when she is toasty warm with my body heat, and I am breathing on her!! I have no idea how to get her to sleep in a Moses basket/cot or to stay asleep when I transfer her.

We would like to get a bedtime routine going, and eventually get her sleeping in the same room as dd1 so that DH can come back to our bedroom! Please help!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
rumtumtugger · 16/11/2013 22:35

When I say cosleeping, she will only sleep pressed against my body and lying in the crook of my arm, when we are both lying on our sides. My arms get numb and my shoulders are getting knackered. I need to change, suggestions welcome!

OP posts:
ArtemisTheHunter · 18/11/2013 14:32

Bumping this as I am in exactly the same situation OP! DD is 14 weeks and is only happy sleeping on or next to me, or occasionally in the pram or car seat but only when moving. I am happy to cosleep while BFing at night but would like to move her to her cot in a few months, iras and when she drops the night feeds. She is a wriggly sleeper and takes up an impressively large chunk of our king sized bed! I'm getting tired of waking with a dead arm or cramp and DP while happy to cosleep doesn't particularly enjoy being relegated to the very edge of the bed. I would welcome advice from those who have been there as I've no idea where to start. I'm not a fan of controlled crying type solutions. Attempts to get her to nap in her cot during the day have so far ended in tears!

Petcat · 18/11/2013 16:36

My DD was exactly like this until she was about 5 months old. She's now 6 months and still naps in a sling but I have been able to get her to sleep independently in a cot for the first part of the night.

I think you have to take it slowly with a baby that needs you to help them sleep. My aim was to help her gently learn to self settle in her cot for one sleep a day - it made sense to focus on bedtime, so I follow a consistent ritual of bath/massage, lullabies, bf in her bedroom and white noise from her sleep sheep. I obviously didn't expect her to stay happily in her cot once she was put down, and picked her up, cuddled and soothed her immediately and for as long as it took. I'd then try putting her down again.

This process was tough and didn't seem to work at first. If she still hadn't fallen asleep after half an hour I'd give up and let her sleep on me. But slowly she has becomefamiliar with the ritual and started falling asleep when put in her cot. Unfortunately she can't settle herself again once she stirs and we still co-sleep for part of the night, but on good nights I get a few hours with the bed to myself.

I am now working on gently helping her take one nap a day in there. As I would never leave her to cry it's taking a while but I don't have any other DC so can devote a fair bit of time to reassuring her.

Last night I even put her back in her cot after a midnight feed and she stayed there until 4am!

rumtumtugger · 19/11/2013 22:34

Crikey, I'm sleep deprived. I came on here to ask the op question, and realised I had already posted it myself! Confused

Slow and gentle sounds like the way to go. When did you introduce the sleep sheep? Going to research white noise generators now

OP posts:
Petcat · 19/11/2013 22:43

I bought the sleep sheep in desperation when she was going through a dreadful sleep patch at about 16 weeks. I got it second hand on eBay, and it's been great. IMO the lullaby it plays is very soothing and I find the white noise womb sound actually helps me go to sleep as well.

I think if you're going to introduce new sleep associations they have to be things that are practical, portable and bearable in the long term.

pearlsthatwere · 20/11/2013 18:32

Watching with interest in case of any more insights. I have a co-sleeping daughter who still sleeps only on me at 20 weeks; I'm trying to formulate a plan to get her sleeping independently at least sometimes, but without any of that crying stuff. Part of me is hoping that if I try now and again to put her down she'll accept it when she's ready... But it sounds like a more concerted effort might be required.

Anyone else have experience of this situation? What age were your DC when they stopped needing you to sleep?

MrsKoala · 22/11/2013 20:49

No advice but just adding that DS is 14mo and i still can't get him to sleep in a cot alone. He will nap in a cot for a short while but only after falling asleep on me then being carefully transferred. At night he will only sleep on me. both arms around my neck, face pressed against mine. I'm a shell of a person as i can't sleep properly. I can't see it ever ending. I've tried the no cry sleep solution and am seriously considering controlled crying, but something is still stopping me. I just can't bear the thought of him thinking no one will come when he needs them.

Andcake · 22/11/2013 21:08

I have a ds who co slept from 6-12 months after a horrid 6 mo sleep regression - awake ever hour. We have gone slow and gentle and were still not exactly there. Basically the cot with all sides on is next to my side of the bed. At first at bedtime I lay on my side of bed with hand on his tummy if he stood up I pat the bed and he usually lies down. Quite a few grumbles but on the first few nights but I knew he knew I was there for him iykwim. I would leave the room once he was asleep then go to bed at my normal time-it was a week of pain and slowly he would let me just rub his tummy to help back to sleep!
With a few ups and downs he got to sleep like that for a few weeks. Once he was comfortable with that I stopped putting my hand on him and just lie next to him out of his reach. Again lots of protests and ages to get him off but now he will sleep from bedtime until about 3-5 on a good night without any need for me. Often then he comes in with us. I plan to keep on slowly retreating and eventually move him to his own room! Or p and I will end up moving rooms Blush
It's slow progress but I feel I'm getting somewhere. I did find out about this kind of process on a website but I can't find the link now. Apparently it takes about 3 nights to establish a habit and the first ever night was horrid ds and I were both in tears at 1 am and he came straight into our bed again but each night it it better. We have even had a few sttnGrin

Choccy247 · 05/12/2013 00:44

I was coming on to ask the exact same thing I'm currently laid in a cot next to a sleeping 6mo knowing that when I move into bed the crying will begin and I'll admit defeat again and spend the night in pain with a baby in the crook of my arm!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread