Baby-led parenting.....

[Misfitless]

If you've done baby-led parenting, please can you tell me at what age your DCs stopped bfing, and at what age they slept through the night in their own beds. Also was it traumatic? Thanks!

Sorry dd crawling on me!!
Any way she woke chatting away at 7.20am !!!

Please god let this not be a fluke!!!

Have a good Sunday guys!!

'
I appreciate that for the posters on this thread, it isn't actually like that, though. Clearly this is because you are an exceptionally laid back, patient and selfless bunch!'

Noooo

I think I'm just lazy! I love love love not having to fight about sleep. Everyone just does their best, whether they are 10 months or 10 years old. No hassle, no conflict or confrontation necessary.

Gentle guidance is good, anything else is pointless imo - training = the same amount of sleeplessness but in a different way.

Can't see the reasoning behind it at all! (on third baby)

humph hurrahhhhhhhh!
Fingers crossed for you!

The shorter, daytime version of my long post is that we do what works for us all at the moment. If they stop working for us then we'll change them at that point. I don't see the point in fighting to achieve a routine that I'm not fussed about now, just incase I might prefer it later.

And we have adapted. For the first year we just took DS to bed when we went, and if he napped on us before that, that was fine. Now we get him ready for bed and put him to bed at 9pm and I lie with him till he falls asleep, then I get up again. It is likely that eventually we'll bring this forward to 8/8.30pm.

I'd imagine that to some extent, second, third or fourth babies will need to fit into a pattern of family life that first baby hasn't had to, even if there isn't an imposed routine.

It's definitely a personal choice, but having done both I much preferred the parent led approach - it was a much less drawn out affair, and once they were asleep, after you've got over the initial few days getting them adjusted, your bed, and your time, and your whole evening is your own.

There's a 9yr gap between DC1 & 2, and I can honestly say that I have no recollection that getting DC2 into routine of sleeping through the night or weaning him off breast milk was particularly stressful...yet I have vivid memories of the frustration and exhaustion and the tears (hers and mine) associated with trying to do the same with DD1, even though it was 15 or so years ago..

Certainly, if it was unsettling for DCs 2,3&4 it lasted a few nights tops. With DCs 3 & 4 ...they live and learn, they're there when you're reading the older child/ren a story, they get into pyjamas at the same time, they have their teeth brushed at the same time, and cuddles and kisses, and generally follow suit, give or take a couple of minutes crying for a couple of nights or so.

I thought I’d be baby led, but DH wanted a more parent led approach. He’s a light sleeper, works long hours, and wasnt coping with DD in our bed every night. At 7 months, begrudgingly, I moved DD to nursery and started putting her down sleepy (after a breast feed), but still awake, so that she got used to going to sleep awake. I’d be in and out of nursery all night long, with the night-time feeds in the nursery. At 8 months, we started sleep training, where I would feed at bedtime (7.30pm), give her a dream feed (about 10.30pm), and then when she woke in the night DH went to her and would give her a stroke and kisses to try and calm her (crucially without lifting her out the cot). She would cry even louder when DH was with her, but soon after he left go to sleep. By the end of the week of this, she was sleeping through. At 9 months she sleeps from 7.30pm to 7am in her cot. There are a few murmours in the night when she wakes, but she soon goes back to sleep.

This change in approach has made the world of difference. I’m going back to work when DD is 11 months, and I don’t think I could have coped with her still waking.

DD is still happy and contented little girl, and is actually better in the day, now she’s sleeping at night.

I don’t plan to stop breastfeeding till she’s 2, unless she weans herself. I want to stop at 2, as I don’t want to be feeding DD when pregnant with the next.