What's normal?

[SourSweets]

Here's my 3 month old's routine: (this is entirely baby led)

Wakes at 5am for a feed.
Then again at 6.30.
Then every hour or so until 9 by which point he just wants a cuddle so I bring him into bed with me.
We wake together at 9.30/10ish and get up.
He doesn't sleep (apart from 1 or 2 10 minute naps if I take him out in the pram or sling) again until the afternoon.
4pm he has a nap until 6pm
Then another small nap from 8-8.30pm
Then he's awake until about midnight.
One night feed usually between midnight and the 6am feed.

I'm knackered! What do I do? What's normal for a baby his age? I can't just put him down because he's wide awake and will just cry. I don't do controlled crying. Should I encourage him to nap earlier in the day, if so how? Should I try to keep him awake through the 4-6pm nap time?

I'm a total novice.

Thank you, as always.

www.isisonline.org.uk/how_babies_sleep/normal_sleep_development/

Here is a link to some very good info on infant sleep.

Would you be able to nap with him from 4-6pm? I tried to sleep, or at least rest whenever DS slept at that age. Ignore house work and anything else that needs doing. Rest should be your priority.
Good luck!

Great website, thank you! It looks from that like he's actually a pretty good sleeper for his age, and letting him less FFS way is not as awful as people have been telling me!

Thank you again.

Lead the way* I obviously say FFS way too often that it comes out in my autocorrect...

Letting him lead the way is not awful at all! Life with a baby is hard enough without trying to make them into something that they that are not.

You need to slowly bring it all forward.
I would drop the 8pm nap and instead put him down at 9pm for the night- keeping quiet and dark when you jo to him you could try and make it a "dream feed" at midnight ish when you go to bed.
If you got up an hour earlier, at say 8 the whole day could be brought forward. If he isn't having the evening nap then he might do the long nap earlier eg at 1 or 2.

Otherwise the nights look normal to me!
Good luck

How do you drop a nap though? I'm also worried about big listening to him when he's ready for a nap and ending up with an overtired baby who will then be harder to get to sleep at all.

We got him to sleep a bit earlier last night, by an hour, by putting him down and re-dummying/tucking him in for about half an hour rather than get him out. But this morning he's slept like a log. He's still asleep now. I know I should get up earlier to bring the day forward, in theory, but in reality by the time 8am rolls around I'm exhausted and I want to stay in bed with him!

Maybe encouraging him to sleep more in the morning will mean he drops the 4-6 nap, and is ready for sleep at 7 or 8 ish instead, in which case we can just put him down then.

Sorry, just thinking aloud now really!

I think you will find that there are two ways of approaching this, you could start to fiddle with his schedule and see how that works.

Or, you could just let him sleep and eat when he wants. Either way, he will grow up and be just fine. It's up to you to decide what works best for you and your OH.

I'm tempted to just let him do what he wants to do. He's not doing anything deliberately to wind me up, he has that schedule for a reason. I just constantly get told that I'm pandering to him and he'll never sleep properly and that's when I question myself.

Normally when we get up at 10 it's because I decide it's time to get up, because he'll wake for a feed so I take him downstairs. This morning I've fed him in bed and stayed here and he's gone straight back to sleep each time. He's still sleeping now. I'm going to see what happens today as I have a feeling he won't need the 4pm nap and will instead be ready for bed earlier.

I'd just let him get on with it. Things seem to change dramatically wrt sleep at 4 months ime so there is little point in tweaking things now.

OP this is not dissimilar to my 3mo EBF DD's baby led routine. She goes to bed when we do, roughly 9.30-10 weekdays and a bit later at weekends, and I feed her to sleep. She usually wakes once between then and 6am (sometimes twice if I'm unlucky) then we doze and feed on and off until she decides it's time to get up, unless we have to go somewhere in which case I get us up in time to get there. Daytime naps are variable and often take place in the car/pram/sling or on me depending on where we are. She naps in the evening before bedtime. I've worried and fretted over whether I should be imposing more routine, enforcing a 7pm bedtime and regular naps in the cot like many of my friends, but if I did that DP would never see her during the week as he often isn't home until then. I figure she is happy and healthy and I'm functioning OK so it's fine. I hear so much about the 4 month sleep regression that as Tarka says it's hardly worth changing things now!

Do you actually want to change things? He seems to be fine in his own routine

Artemis, that's exactly like my LO, and his dad also doesn't get home till late.

Jilted, I would like him to go to sleep earlier in the evening, even at 10 would be fine but staying up with him til 11 or 12 is very tiring and I'm just worried when I keep hearing all this talk of 6pm bedtimes. If I know it's normal and he'll eventually go to sleep earlier of his own accord then I wouldn't be so fussed about changing it as he's quite happy and not overtired.

My DD is 3 months and has only had 2x 30 min naps all day, I'm a little less worried now