self settling

[littlewind]

My little guy is 8 months old and I've been a bit silly and always got him to sleep nursing! I feel a bit guilt because he can't self settle now. He either just stands in his cot and laughs at me or other times just sits in there and cries!! I won't do cry it out.
Now he won't always go to sleep now nursing and I know he's tried. Then he get's really cranky and I have a job to get anything done because he won't let me do anything with out crying.
Has any one got any tips for me please?
When he's self settling do I stay in the room with him or go out of the room?

I taught my DD (now 7 mo) to self-settle by staying in the room and rubbing her chest whilst whispering soothing words to her. When she was calm, quiet, I'd retreat (hide under the crib!), if she got noisy I'd rub/ whisper again. It took a week or so of doing that every night until I could just put her down in cot awake, give a quick chest rub and say our key phrase ('it's ok, it's just bedtime') and walk out. She's usually asleep within 10 mins, and sometimes I have to go back in and soothe her briefly. However, I started doing all this when she was 5.5 mo. I'm not sure how/ if it'd work with an older baby that can move around more.

There are other gentle methods, like gradually withdrawal, that might work better for you. There's a good thread somewhere on this board called something like 'what worked for us' that details that method.

I found that dd settled better if I just left the room. So the opposite of CityDweller's dd, which just means they're all different.

She's very distractible and I think I was making things worse by being there. We found blackout blinds, soft music and white noise very useful.
I would cuddle/feed her and put her down and leave immediately, even if she protested. If she got very upset I would obviously go back in and soothe her but it's quite normal for them to have a bit of a grizzle before nodding off. She was about 7 months when we began doing this. Prior to that she fed to sleep.

I've tried today to soothing him then he just pulls away and tries to sit up . So then I put him in and left him and he just stood up then sat down . And he was very tried and got very cranky.

Forgot to say thank you for your replies.

I just read my last message and I hope I did I'd come across as ungrateful?

No, it didn't at all. :)

I've got my little man to self settle a couple of times. Which I get excited about then he's slept for about 10 to 15 minutes. then he wakes up crying?

When I taught my DD to self settle I would stay with her until she was calm, shush-patting her and then leave the room. I would then leave her to grizzle for 5 minutes and go back in if necessary. Repeat until child is asleep! After a week or so I only need to put her down, pat her a few times and then she would settle within 10 mins of making odd noises to herself...