Nightweaning 14mo -for and against please

[DrMcDreamysWife]

I'm really struggling with my dd 14mo sleep. She has never been good, never slept through and never really recovered from the 4 month sleep regression. Last night her longest stretch was 2 hours. Following a bf she goes into her cot sleepy and then from whenever she wakes ( can be 3am at best, 9pm at worst) she then comes into bed with me and basically has free boob access all night. She woke me every hour last night from 9 till 7.

If I refuse a feed she screams the house down. If my dh goes to her she screams for me.

I'm happy to carry on breastfeeding at bedtime and perhaps a morning feed and wouldn't mind the cosleeping if she actually slept but she wakes me sooo much I'm really struggling to stay sane. Dh and I are arguing about it. And I've become semi useless at work- ( secondary teacher in city school with deprived catchment)

I need to do something. Is the answer to be firm and night wean? Or will it be too horrific? Will she probably still wake and then I've lost my magic get back to sleep tool?

Sorry for long post...

She might still wake anyway, but at least you won't be feeding all night. I think in your position I'd definitely give it a go - you'll need a few nights and your DH to be on board with dealing with the nightwakings.

I night weaned at about that age. Didn't co sleep but DS was waking every 1.5/2 hrs and had done every night since birth. He'd wake, I'd bf him back to sleep, and wait til the next waking... I was dreading night weaning and put it off for weeks and weeks even if DP and I were both at end of our tether. We did a combo of Dr Jay Gordon and a thread on here called What Worked For Us. I was bowled over at how quickly it worked and how well DS adapted. If I'd known it would work so well I'd have done it months ago. He now (generally) sleeps through, might wake once, but DP goes in and he settles quickly. However, he does wake for the day at 5/530am, so we go to bed at 9pm ;-)
We regularly get 6/7 hrs uninterrupted sleep, whereas we had been getting 4/5hrs max of interrupted sleep.
HAVING SAID THIS its all gone a bit pear shaped in last few weeks - tears at bedtime and tears when he wakes at night (if he wakes - he still mostly sleeps through) so it just goes to show that there is always something that is frustrating about their sleep. But please don't let this put you off, am sure its just a stage - I hear there is a 18mo sleep regression and DS is almost 16mo - and its SO much better than it used to be. Night weaning was the best thing I've ever done. Made me fall back in love with bfing now that I just do it bedtime and early morning, and those nights of sitting in DS's room sobbing to myself feeling trapped and desperate while he fed all night seem like a distant bad dream!
Give it a go. Give it 7/10 days and see what results you get. You may be surprised - they are adaptable little creatures :-) Good luck.
ps thing that worked for me was I realised that DS would scream not because he is in pain/ill/abandoned, but because he can't yet say GIVE ME THE F&*%ING BOOB!!!!! That's what he wanted to say but all he can do is cry. That's all the crying is. Helped for me anyway...!

I would definitely give night weaning a go. You will be amazed by how quickly it works and you'll get your nights back

Another one who says give it a go. We have very gently night weaned since about 11 months. DD a better sleeper than your DS by the sounds of things but she wasn't great. We have gone very gently and she usually goes from 7.15/30pm to at least 5am if not nearer to 6am these days. Definitely need DP on board and come up with a plan you can stick to. We've always cuddled and sung back to sleep, offered water etc. and stayed until DD has gone back to sleep. We just gradually moved the time of the first feed back and cut total number of feeds and when DD could get into bed with us etc. over the last four months so now it's one feed, not before 5am and she can stay in bed with us afterwards and to be honest she rarely if ever disturbs us before then anyway. Good luck!

Very sorry - your DD not DS.

I night weaned dd around this age, and like pps was surprised by how quickly it happened... She went from being a round the clock boob fiend to morning/evening feeds only after about a week.

Used the dr jay gordon thing also- google jay Gordon night weaning.
There is crying but you never leave the baby and are always there to hold and comfort them. They are crying because they want their back to sleep crutch (boob), but as long as I was with dd I didn't feel too bad.

Start on a weekend if poss as the first couple of nights are the hardest.

She then started sleeping 7-7could not believe it as she had never slept longer than a couple of hours, though we have also just been through the 18 month sleep regression - nasty shock- but back on track now fx

Good luck!

Def night wean at being woken every hour and then having to work!! Flip thats hardcore

I think if you nightwean you will prob have to stop co-sleeping as your dd will just get really frustrated that you are close but not being a human dummy for her!!

My guess is you would have a few nights of hell, with lots of crying but once she learns how to settle without needing to bf her to sleep you will all sleep so much better. 100% worth it imo.