Help! I think I've broken my baby and now he's breaking me!

[shamble]

DS2, 13m, used to be a pretty good sleeper. Quite good at self-settling and used to wake once, max twice a night. Has always been an early bird - usually up by 5.30am, but all in all, was pretty chuffed.

When he was 10m we went away for 2 weeks and everything went to pot - he stopped self-settling and we had to rock him to sleep. Now, we have to rock him to sleep every time he needs to go/go back to sleep.

Up til recently that's been ok. But for the last month things have been getting progressively worse, and this week has been utterly diabolical. He'll wake once or twice before 2am, and then that's it for the night. I mean, 5.30am is early but 2am? WTAF? He WILL. NOT. GO. BACK. TO. SLEEP. DH and I are absolutely on our knees.

I'll rock him and rock him and rock him - for 2hrs solid last night, as an example, and he'll doze off, and then his muscles will twitch almost involuntarily and he'll start screaming and thrashing again. Is this to do with learning to walk? He's not there yet but is getting very slowly closer. Could it be a medical problem? Or by rocking him to sleep every night have I just broken his ability to sleep to the extent that he just can't do it any more?

Please help, I'm really losing it with exhaustion. At the end of my tether. Also looking after DS1 who's just 3 and is dropping his daytime nap and pooing in his pants twice a day. I want to run away to Barbados.

DS is now 3 and details are a bit hazy. He was a dreadful sleeper and not brilliant now till he was about 12months i didn't get more than 2 or 3 hours uninterrupted sleep.

I do recall a friend telling me to make sure he was not hungry either, so i upped his food especially protein heavy things at night and reduced his milk a bit) He is a milk monster even now.

I am not a routine person; we travel a lot and i can't really be bothered. However i do try and keep a few things consistent with bedtime like bath and story time. I end his story time with the same book every night, so he associates it with going to sleep. I also lie in bed with him till he nods off only about 10 mins.

I think the suggestion up thread of getting a mattress to put next to his cot is a good one, at least you can hold his hand / shush pat etc whilst doing gradual withdrawal and get some rest (after a fashion.)

good luck tonight

I can sympathise - my 13mo seem to have forgotten how to sleep suddenly - until Thursday night he would usually wake once, quick cuddle and water and he'd go back to sleep. Now he's waking lots from midnit onwards and not settling back to sleep, screaming when I put him in his cot. Or settling to sleep for 5/10 mins (enough time for me to start to doze off!) and it happens again. Have had to cuddle/pat him back into to deep sleep the last few nights. And then 5.30am morning starts to add in for good measure too.

As a result we are all knackered and grumpy in the day!

He's currently shouting away in his cot while I dash in and lie him back down every minute or so. I hate this!!! (Gentle CC..worked once before under guidance of a sleep consultant)

You could try gradual retreat a la Millpond. For 3 nights hold him instead of rocking him. If he gets furious put him down in the cot for 30 secs max and step away, then pick him up and hold again. Once he's asleep stay holding him for at least ten minutes so you can be sure he's in deep sleep. Next three nights do the same but hold him in cot, next three nights stroke in cot...

Thanks for all these suggestions.

Ducks, interesting that your DS is doing the same at the same age. Is he getting closer to walking? I do wonder if learning new skills mucks up their sleep.

Squidgy DS1 is 3 now and details are hazy for me too! Our sleep problems with him were really different, and by this age we were starting to emerge from the worst of it. He started sleeping through at 16m, after a first year of absolute horror. I feel like DS2 is doing it backwards - a decent first year, and now everything goes belly up! Makes me feel like I must've done something really wrong. That said, DS1 still has a dummy at night and will not be parted with it. So obviously I'm not doing very much very right!

KateCroydon thanks for that - I think that, if tonight is similar to last night, we will try an approach like that.

We still use Ewan the Sheep. Have had to change his batteries twice this week. Ridiculous.

2am yikes!!

You poor thing

When he wakes up is he grumbling or proper cross?

When he wakes I would offer a drink, give him some teething powder (just in case), check nappy is o.kay, and then leave him to it. If he is really kicking off go back at 5-10 min intervals to reassure but no rocking, minimal eye contact, no lights on.

In theory it might take 2 hours first night but of you are 100% consistant should get better and better in theory

That amount of sleep is not enough for you or him.

Good luck

Good luck tonight shambles

shambles - interesting you say that, he has just started cruising and walking with his walker, so could be related. Going to find a fleecy sleep suit for him today as it has also coincided with the cold weather! He went to sleep after about 10 mins of fuss last night, woke up at 2 and straight back to sleep after a cuddle and water (so I thought we'd cracked it!) then he woke at 4.15 and shouted and yelled and would not calm down or settle! He's finally gone quiet...hope I can get a bit more sleep in now as today is a work day!

Hope you had a better night. I tell myself I've managed a year of sleep deprivation, so what's another few months/year..!

he slept 7-5! wouldn't go back at 5 despite being shattered (daft child) but it feels like I've had a weekend at a spa! I feel like a new person!

so so hoping that whatever it was is over. now to crack the rocking to sleep. am terrified.

ducks I have no idea what made the difference. maybe heating, maybe the end of a rubbish phase? hopefully the end, anyway!

great news shamble

Brilliant!

Thank you! And thank you all for taking the time to reply to me. I will be taking some of your ideas. It did just take me 45mins to settle him for his nap so we're not out of the woods yet.... Why do some babies never have these problems? It's really unfair!