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Original poster

Co sleeping when pissed

18 replies

BonaDrag · 09/11/2013 17:09

Avoiding chat and AIBU as I don't want a bun fight- this is genuine question and I'd like some perspective. I'm wondering if I am wrong to think you should never co sleep with a toddler if you're pissed? ExSIL thinks it's fine now her child is 2 but I think it's still a bit risky.

I'd like to hear what others think. Thanks

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strruglingoldteach · 09/11/2013 17:12

What do you mean by pissed? I'd co-sleep with a toddler after a glass of wine, but not when drunk.

rubyslippers · 09/11/2013 17:12

the advice is not to co sleep with a baby if under the influence of drugs or alcohol

i would imagine it's not a great idea with a toddler either

honeybunny14 · 09/11/2013 17:12

No i think its wrong and wouldnt dream.of it or being pissed in charge of a child at all

girliefriend · 09/11/2013 17:14

No not o.kay, if you want to go out and get pissed probably time to start putting your toddler in their own bed.

likelytoasksillyquestions · 09/11/2013 17:16

I wouldn't do it. I'm much less worried about eg duvet and pillows now DS is 18mo but I think a full-sized grownup sleeping too soundly is still a big risk to a small person.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/11/2013 17:17

Not ok at all. A glass of wine or two maybe but not pissed. Tell her to et a baby sitter cos even on her own bed the mum still won't be in a fit state to tend to her child of needed. Unless the father is home and sober.

hettienne · 09/11/2013 17:23

Probably not actually dangerous with a 2 year old, so long as not so pissed that they wouldn't wake up if the child woke/got out of bed.

Original poster
BonaDrag · 09/11/2013 17:24

It's not exSIL that's drunk it's her DH. And I don't mean a glass of wine or two, I'm talking six pints drunk.

Firstly as I'm on my own I don't drink much anyway as I'm with DD so when I do go out she stays over at her dad's.
But I wouldn't share a bed with her if I was even tipsy. ExSIL has accused me in the past of being pfb (mostly justified :o) so it's good to know this time I'm probably not.

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hettienne · 09/11/2013 17:25

Is exSIL there too, or is it just the DH and toddler?

If the mum's there too then I think any harm is fairly unlikely.

RubyGoat · 09/11/2013 17:27

Not ok. It significantly increases the risk of SID (pretty well proven link AFAIK). A small glass of wine, with a healthy toddler - individual judgement. I'd still not do it though if at all possible.

SolomanDaisy · 09/11/2013 17:31

I'd say the risks to a 2 year old are minimal. They're not so small you will just lie on them and if they get uncomfortable they just move themselves, the covers or you. I'd also assume that she sleeps in between her DH and the toddler. I'd guess it might be nicer for everyone if her DH slept in a different bed when drunk though, that's what we do. It's not dangerous, but drunks aren't great fun to share a bed with. I have a glass or two of wine and cosleep with my 2 year old, but don't have more than that.

mathanxiety · 09/11/2013 17:41

How much of a problem is the DH's drinking? How frequently is he drunk?

Sometimes people who are in denial about a problem will go on adamantly doing what they would normally do just to avoid taking the problem seriously. They will also see others being conscientious, who are not dealing with what may be alcoholism, and accuse them of preciousness, etc which they see negatively in contrast to their own gung ho attitude they think it's gung ho but it's reallydenial. They may also be more protective of their children but won't see it that way i.e. will co-sleep with a toddler or not leave the toddler alone with the drunk. They see co-sleeping as a way to keep the toddler protected as they are close to them (while indenial that they are also close to someone who could roll over on top of them or onto a small leg or arm). Maybe this is what is happening here?

likelytoasksillyquestions · 09/11/2013 17:48

If she's between DH and toddler, I see no problem. Apart from any more general drunk problems, obv.

Original poster
BonaDrag · 09/11/2013 18:07

She is there too and AFAIK DS sleeps in between them. Her DH is a hulk of a man and she says he never moves once he's asleep... Hmm

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Original poster
BonaDrag · 09/11/2013 18:10

I don't know exactly how much he drinks but its a lot during football season as he has a season ticket and drinks before and after all home games.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 09/11/2013 18:13

I would not be comfortable with that at all. I'd have out the child in her own bed. At the very least he should be on the couch.

mathanxiety · 09/11/2013 19:00

Methinks there's a bigger problem here than just the toddler's risk in the bed.

Original poster
BonaDrag · 09/11/2013 19:33

Well his brother is my piss head, EA ex so they're cut from the same cloth.

I don't know though, their problems are nothing to do with me. I was just curious about the co sleeping thing.

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