unplanned co-sleeping at 11mo - what do i need to know?

[BotBotticelli]

DS1 is 11mo and we have never co-slept. Has slept in a moses basket when he was younger and moved into his cot at 3mo. He has always settled relatively well to sleep with his dummy, and now when he wakes up in the night he usually grizzles/moans for a couple of minutes and then falls back asleep.

However, in the last few weeks he has had a few nights when he has woken up at around 5am extremely upset. No winding up to it, just bang, awake in full on terrified sounding hysterics. It's the kind of noise no parent could ignore (and I am very much in the 'leave them a couple of minutes to see if they go back off' camp)...so DH or I have jumped straight out of bed and picked him straight up for a cuddle, and the only way he calms down is if we lie him in between us in our bed, where he tosses around for 20 mins or so and then falls back asleep.

I do not really want to co sleep but it seems like this is the only thing we can do....even if we comfort him and he stops crying, the minute we put him back in his cot it starts again :(

Anyone else had this? Could it be a scary dream? He just sounds so distressed.

And if we occasionally put him in our bed when he is very upset like this, is he going to start expecting to come in our bed when he is not upset?? Am worried about setting a precedent I don't want to continue.

And finally, what rules do we need to follow about co-sleeping to make it safe at 11mo? He is a big boy, very strong etc,but I am not sure if all those rules about bedding etc which apply with newborns still apply? (NB he nas to go inbetween me and DH, cannot go at the edge of the bed cos he will just roll out,he is a very energetic sleeper!!

Google safe co sleeping. I'm not sure if on the middle is recommended bit check. Ds is a bit like this and it's better for all if us if he joins us in bed- and so much nicer than v early starts if they won't resettle. Embrace it - he is still small and needs his parents reassurance. Ds isn't in a habit with it now but when he has a cold he might join us earlier and some nights he stays all night in his cot!

Nothing, by 11 months he'll kick, wriggle and crawl out if too hot.
In any case if it's only 5-7 am you are unlikely to sleep very deeply.

Thanks guys! starball I think I am unlikely to sleep at all, f

Oops posted early! Find it v uncomfortable with him in the small double bed, usually horizontal...so I am pretty sure I will mostly be lying there watchin him breathing anyway but wanted to check about the safety aspect just in case by some miracle I do manage to doze back off :)

never got any sleep with DD1 she wriggled, squirmed and literally bounced on the pillows.

BF DD2 kept perfectly still and everyone slept.

you could get a bed guard and keep him on your side in his own sleeping bag if you wanted to feel safer. Children and babies live in the moment especially when it comes to things like sleep and anything that causes anxiety; I wouldn't worry about habits and rods etc, the more reassurance he gets now the more secure he will be later on. babies brains are still developing up to around 3; the early years are so important. you'll probably find it passes after a while and he's happy to stay in his cot. Any research that has ever been done on cosleeping only points to positive outcomes, particularly in boys (better self esteem and fewer tantrums). It is a bit like co- resting at first though and takes a bit of practice to actually sleep!

just to explain - mum's tend to adopt a natural curve around baby (as if bf on side) and are instinctively more aware of baby while sleeping hence the advice to keep on your side. I'm not sure till how old though, see what Google says, nct and the la leche league might have good info.