is there a 15mo sleep regression? no? then WTF is happening??

[flipflopson5thavenue]

DS is just over 15mo and after I night weaned about 2mo ago was really good at putting himself to sleep in his cot after bf. I or DP would sit by his cot, but it would only take 5/10 mins for him to drop off happily. Just as we'd started moving chair closer to door, in the hope of eventually being able to put him down, kiss good night and LEAVE HIM TO IT, its all gone pear shaped.

For the past fortnight, he feeds, either bf or bottle from DP, then he is happy to go into cot for about 2 mins then he stands up and cries and cries and gets more and more upset. Sometimes I'll cuddle him over the side, and that calms him a bit, or he'll take a dummy for a few mins, then spit it out. He'll sometimes lie down and cry to himself desperately, while I pat his back or rub his tummy, but then he stands again and wants to be picked up. He is obviously exhausted as he almost falls asleep with his milk, and especially after a day at nursery I know he's ready for bed.

It's now taking 40-50 mins to get him to drop off and after a combination of patting, cuddling, more milk, singing, some ssshhing, patting mattress, ignoring, picking up, putting down again, he eventually calms down and drops off. It's always something different each night though that finally works. I don't know why he's suddenly getting so upset, but its horrible.

Feels like we've taken huge step back and we're never going to be able to leave him awake, and happy, and let him drift off on his own, while we get to have some adult time!! He wakes at 5am so we tend to go to bed 930pm so there isn't much time left once DS is asleep to do anything other than eat, dishes and bed :-(

We always used to say, in the days that he was waking 2/3 times a night, that if he slept through, we wouldn't mind him getting up at 5am. Now that he does pretty much sleep through, and gets up at 5am, we're wondering if these difficult bedtimes are just the frustration du jour and we have to sit it out...!?

Any idea what could be going on? I hate seeing him so upset and it makes me feel so guilty about being at work, maybe he just wants more bf and cuddles because I'm not with him all day :-((

Sorry you are having a hard time. Whats his day like - how many naps, what time bedtime?

I'm afraid we started having problems at bedtime at about 16 months, and we are still fairly hit and miss now, some months later. But although DD still takes some time to go down, she is usually (apart from last night which I'll chose to ignore) fairly content to witter on and winge to herself without getting too upset. I think it was a separation anxiety thing for us (the really upset bedtimes) which was shortlived, but the long bedtimes are the norm which I put down to crazy DD and her inability to switch off. The good news is that we can usually leave her to it and get on with our evenings, as like yours she is an early riser and/ or wakes for a long period in the night, so early bedtimes a must for us.

day is two naps, one 1.5hr ish second about 40 mins (although three days a week at nursery he has 20/30min nap on way to nursery, then 1.5hr nap after lunch while he's there) and bath at 630 and feed and bed about 650/7pm.
Tonight it took an hour to get him to sleep, so much for giving him an early bed to catch up on sleep after three long days at nursery. its just sooooooooooo boring. Everyone takes a while to fall asleep, I just get so frustrated at having to BE THERE with him while he does!
argh.

I wonder whether it's worth trying only one nap and seeing if that improves things? Tricky balance to get right but it sounds like the bedtimes are undertired, rather than overtired, on that daytime sleep.

he gets one nap at nursery three days a week, although he wakes at 5am and I think 5am-12pm is a long time to go before a nap (he normally sleeps the 15/20 min walk to nursery drop off), followed by 2pm-630/7pm. But yes, I do think he's in a bit of a transitional phase and that he's not always ready for bed when we do bedtime. Will try a slightly later one tonight, maybe with more books/quiet play after bath.