4 months too young for gentle sleep training?

[LindsayS79]

My 4 month old has always been great at settling herself at night. However she caught her first cold just over a week ago and it has (unsurprisingly) affected her sleep.
She's always needed her dummy to nap but very rarely needed it to settle at night, just when she's overtired. Even then I've taken it out after 10 mins and she's been fine.
However the past few nights I've needed the dummy to settle her. She nods off herself as usual for a minute then starts crying until I give her the dummy. I've been taking it out as usual but I'm finding she's waking up for it again!
I've not researched any sleep training as I've not needed it, so has anyone got any tips for me to break the dummy habit before it's too late?!!

Watching with interest as I'm in the same boat with ds2. Eldest wasn't in to dummy but this one is becoming more reliant. I'm sort of just going with it as sleep generally has gone to pot and we've also got a cold.

He's waking more and more in the night tho and once cold has gone I'm goin to start trying to get him going through. He has lots of milk throughout day and did a week of sleeping through at 8 weeks, which is almost more soul destroying!

Littlemilla, thought I'd let you know that my DS went to sleep without her dummy last night. She was very sleepy while I winded her, so I put her into her swaddle and she didn't cry for her dummy! Not getting too excited though as I think she was more or less asleep...
However, on a better note, the blinking fireworks woke her up about an hour after she fell asleep. I thought I'd try and get through without the dummy (I'd normally use dummy to prevent her waking fully). So I put my hand on her chest and reassured her twice then walked out of the room. She wasn't crying hysterically, more of a moan/cry. I thought I'd give her 5 mins and she managed to settle herself and fell asleep!!
Not saying this would work every time but it gives me hope!

I did a 'patting tummy gently and shushing' sort of thing with DS1 in such situations - DS2 would launch into a furious rage if I tried it with him though. They are all different. I think the key thing is to stand firm on not supplying the dummy. Once it sinks into their baby heads that they can go to sleep without it, then they just might do so. You've got to give them the opportunity first, though!

I think the title of your thread may attract the 'HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF SLEEP TRAINING YOUR BABY YOU BAD AWFUL WOMAN' poster though lindsay, just to warn you

I did gentle (ish) sleep training at a very young age for my DS, won't even tell you how young as I will get flamed for it but much younger than 4 months - it worked perfectly and DS was/is (now age 12!) a brilliant sleeper.

Just get ready for all the 'it's child abuse to sleep train a baby' and that old chestnut 'they are only young once, just enjoy it' sort of comments. .

Actually I would suggest it is easier to do it a younger age before they get into the habit of being rocked/cuddled/fed to sleep etc.

• although after 12 years of being one of the few advocates of CC on Mumsnet I am pretty immune to all the comments .

Omg - horrendous night! Like a newborn but almost harder to settle. He's got a cold and couldn't even keep dummy in because he's so blocked.

After having my boob in his mouth all night we manage to shhh him to sleep at 6am sans dummy but in our bed!

Think I'll wait a couple of days before getting 'tough' as he's really not 100%.

Having gone through this before with ds who is now happy healthy and a good sleeper I really think that good sleep is important. And from a young age!

I completely agree with you Ragwort. I started putting DS1 in his crib for naps with a firm 'it's for his own good' attitude at six weeks.

In my defense, it was for his own good. If I hadn't had those half-hour periods in which to clean and feed myself then I probably would have gone insane and killed everyone. So, lesser of two evils and all that :)

He is 2.4 now and sleeps relatively well, as does DS2. We believe that it's unfair to 'let' your child 'get away' with poor sleeping habits and then attempt to fix it at age 4 or something, when they are firmly settled into those habits and will be much more upset than they would have been as babies. They have no idea you're 'letting them get away with it', so it totally rocks their world when the goalposts shift. Better to do it earlier IMO.

Ha ha!! I didn't realise it was such a controversial subject!!!! I thought making sure my LO sleeps well prevents her from being upset with over tiredness!!! The more she wakes for the dummy the more tired she'll be!
I've been struggling to settle her with the cold too. Poor soul has had a blocked nose for over a week and the dummy makes it feel worse for her That's why I'm making the effort to try and get rid of it now as I'm expecting many colds to come..
Totally agree that by nipping any bad sleep patterns in the bud when they're young helps to avoid an upset toddler down the line!! My mum said I was a nightmare because she rocked me to sleep all the time so I'm trying to avoid replicating a mini me!!!!

Oh and just to add, she just spat her dummy out while napping and started looking for it again. Her nose sounds so bad that replacing it will annoy her more, so I just sat with her and held her arms (she's a major windmill baby!) and she fell back asleep!!!!
I've just been able to eat for the first time today and she's getting a well-needed nap, so hopefully I'm not too bad a mum

Thank you Howls - someone who agrees with me at last .

My dearest friend just will not let her children self settle, they are now 8 and 10 and she has NEVER had a full night's sleep. The only time they slept through was (unsurprisingly ) the one night that she left them with relatives.

She complains about the lack of sleep, but just will not leave them and it is far too late now.

Ragwort

A friend of mine has a similar problem - when she was a SAHM with her DD, her DD just Would. Not. Sleep. When friend went back to work and her DH became a SAHD, their DD's sleep drastically improved. Funny that!

Turns out she and her DH were never quite on the same page, sleep-wise..... she was a bit chagrined to discover this but also delighted to have some sleep again.

People like that get on my wick.

If sleep training is creating a routine etc etc then 4 months is fine. If you mean cc or CIO then it's too young and not for their own good. I have never done anything like that and my DS naps beautifully and sleeps through the night - he didn't do it all himself, he went through sleep regressions, growth spurts, teething, cold etc but all without a tear.

I wouldn't leave an adult to cry on their own so why would I leave a young baby - the no cry method does take a bit more effort but is far less cruel.

I've read about the no cry sleep book (not sure if this is the right name!) so I might see if my library has a copy. I'm happy to leave her to moan but when she gets hysterical there is NO stopping her, so CIO doesn't sound appealing AT ALL!!!
I need to figure out a way to stop her crying in the pram as she hates it, so I don't want her hysterical at bedtime too!!

Lindsay - no cry is a good book and I found it helpful as we've never subscribed to the CIO school of thought. Just gentle persuasion and plenty of shhhh patting

After a chaotic day for ds2 where he got an hour's sleep max he went down unaided and with a smile! Getting him to self settle is going to be the key and so we need to let him have a little grizzle and stop being afraid that every squeak will wake ds1.

A friend spoke about 'bleating' earlier, which sums it up well I think. Very different to distressed crying, which I don't think many could/would do. Esp not at this age!

Glad to hear you settled him well tonight littlemilla! I'm with you on letting them have a little moan! I just need to stop jumping in expecting it to turn into a crescendo every time. I learned last night that it doesn't! It's a fine line sometimes though!!!!

We had just one wake up at 2.30am after going down at 7.30pm!! Then up at 7.30am for the day.

Was awake for an hour after a couple of feeds. DH had to shhh pat him back to sleep in the end. But no dummy all night!!

So chuffed.

Are you feeding at night too? I think lots of babies have growth spurt at four months so need milk at night