Help with a very difficult young baby

[WahIzzit]

So my dsis is staying with us for a bit with her 8 week old ds. Dbil has had to go away due to work for a few weeks, so we asked her to come stay with us as her baby is more than exhausting.

He does not settle at night AT ALL. Dsis has been up with him nearly all through the nights for the past few weeks, he falls asleep in her lap then cries as soon as put down. Ok if awake so will play for a bit but then wants milk so is fed, then is sick everywhere and the whole cycle eventually starts again. I popped in at 6am this morning, dsis in tears saying she hasn't slept a wink and cannot cope with this.

She could not breastfeed due to health reasons, baby is on Infamil(sp?). He has been suffering with reflux since born and has been on Gaviscon for the past few weeks. It seemed to be working and still helps in the day I think (but it could just be we all help in settling him, holding him but he definitely seems happier in the day) but is a real nightmare at night. We decided its best she goes back to her GP on Monday but what would the wise MN advise meanwhile? I try and help in the day by having him so she can nap, but the nights are making her ill.

What a kind sister you are .

Has She tried co-sleeping safely?

Dummy?

Those are my initial thoughts-not v helpful as I have a 8wo ds too!

Hopefully gp can give some meds for
Reflux.

Thanks loulou I think she tried co-sleeping at one point but it made no real difference and she didn't feel it was safe. She is borrowing dc2's cot whilst staying here and we have already raised the top side with some books which is probably more effective?

Hopefully the GP can give some ranitidine or something, the poor mite is clearly in a lot of pain or would have no reason to cry all night.

A refluxy baby at night can be a nightmare. We had two of them in 2 years and the only way we survived it was to hold the baby upright for 90 minutes after a feed. I did both feeds and then did one session of sitting up. Dh then took the baby after the second feed and sat up. Before putting the baby into the cot, we lay it flat for 5-10 mins. By watching the response, we knew if it was ready for bed. Any wriggling, grunting, lifting legs meant the reflux hadn't subsided enough.
The cot needs to be on a steep angle - ds2 used to slide down the cot when he was bigger.
The current NICE guidelines suggest that a hypoallergenic formula should be tried before meds (unless your dsis is breastfeeding of course). The meds include ranitidine, then omeprazole, and maybe some domperidone. Some GPs are happy to prescribe themselves. Some prefer to wait until a paediatrician has seen the baby.
If there is any cows milk allergy or intolerance in the family (or even if there isn't!) and your dsis is breastfeeding then she might want to take some advice about going entirely dairy free as cows milk protein allergy or intolerance is often the cause of reflux.
Following on from that, your dsis might like to join CMPA Support for reflux on Facebook. They have a website too but the forum on Facebook is invaluable because parents can share their concerns and frustrations with other parents and they can usually answer any question too. GPs knowledge of the condition can be very variable. If you can go to the GP with her, do. If the GP takes the 'all babies cry' approach ask for a referral to a paediatrician. They have to have a good reason to say no. Also make it clear how tough it is for your dsis and that this is not normal baby crying. Hope that helps.

A dummy does often help with reflux as the sucking helps to keep the reflux down. If no one can help with the night feeds, our health visitor told us to use the car seat in desperation. It's not normally recommended, but in these circumstances, it might see them through it. She suggested putting the baby in the car seat and setting an alarm for 90 mins later so that we could transfer baby to a lying position in a basket/cot. A swing seat is supposed to be soothing, but I wouldn't have slept a baby in one - it would just enable your dsis to rest her arms for a few minutes.
The other thing to do is to make sure that winding is done by rubbing not patting, otherwise the patting makes the reflux worse. Don't jiggle the baby either.

Thanks for your very helpful posts survival some really great advice.

She is unable to breastfeed due to a 'not necessarily serious but a lifetime on medication' disorder unfortunately. The medication affects breastmilk so has had to bottlefeed and is giving dn Infamil (not sure if thats spelt correctly). Yes perhaps it is worth asking the GP whether a hypoallergenic milk could be tried..
Yes I will try to ensure I go with her to see GP, because I know what my quiet, meek dsis is like!

She will try putting baby in his bouncer after a feed if she is unable to hold him upright for long in the night. Hmm I remember hearing car seats make reflux worse but am confused now and could be making stuff up

She has tried the dummy several times but dnephew seems very strong minded and really does not want to know. Will tell her to persevere with it though!

Your poor sister :(
Sorry this is brief but I agree with previous posters - he needs better reflux meds, gaviscon rarely helps. Ranitidine or omeprazole should settle him. Also second hypoallergenic formula. Once reflux is well controlled he should be much happier and sleep better.
DS needed omeprazole and nutramigen (formula) to stop screaming. Now DD is on omeprazole and as she's breastfed I'm dairy free.
Fingers crossed he improves, reflux is hell.

Your poor dsis, I've been there. Please assure her it will get easier, no doubt your support is invaluable.
Could you try thickening his milk? I think you can buy stuff (carobel?) in pharmacies.
How is she burping him? I was taught only to stroke upwards on the back, not to ever pat.
Hold him upright as much as possible. We bought a life changing vibrating pretend car seat for dd which, other than our arms, was the only way she'd sleep.
Oh and a sling, won't help much at night but worked wonders during the day.

Oh poor love. She has my sympathy! I too have a refluxy baby who never wanted to be put down. I would BF her to sleep and when she was totally out, I finally got her down by putting a warmed (on my body) cotton sheet down in the cot then putting her on it. Ranitidine has made a huge difference to us where gaviscon was ok but not great. I agree with a. Different meds and b. Looking into possible allergies. Has she tried any other brand of milk? They're all basically the same but DD (now mix fed) throws up on c&g milk but not Aptimil.

I put my reflux baby in a car seat and it was the first good night we had in 8 weeks. I asked hv and go and they both said though not advisable it was ok for as short a time as poss (I did it for a few weeks until the meds worked) and not to feel bad as sleep deprivation is so awful. I really feel for ur sis been there and its terrible. Another hv advised me dummies are good for babies with reflux as the saliva goes back down, neutralising the stomach acid. Good luck both...this will pass...

Please please insist on trying meds and/or a paeds referral. Reflux is a mightmare. Ranitidine saved my life and made a difference in just 2 days - there is no need for your sister and her baby to suffer like this.

You sound lovely btw to help like this.

*nightmare, even

My ds2 had reflux and was on sma staydown which was fab and really helped the sickness, he was much better until he started weaning which then made him sick.