Four month sleep regression...

[Runswithsquirrels]

...it's almost four weeks now since she entered this phase early... Four weeks of not sleeping longer than two hours and frequently less...
Someone please tell me this will end soon. Please!

Hi ladies. Would you like advice? Or is this more of a support thread?

Advice, please.

In comparison we're doing ok. But I need my sleep more than most (seriously, in my group of friends it's always been a longstanding joke) and I am slowly regaining all the weight I've lost thru cake/caffeine/sugar intake.

My ds2 also has a chest infection.

Depressed to read in a psych book that you shouldn't attempt sleep training between 4-5.5 months. I cannot wait. Ds2 is 19 weeks I think, lost count if his age after he hit 16 weeks!!

Advice pls. My last post was putting him down for the night....and now I'm back upstairs feeding him after he's woken. I'm on my knees; DS1 isn't taking any prisoners either and between the two of them I honestly feel like I haven't had a decent relaxing break for too long...

Where are you, Can'tthink? Bestow upon me your wisdom...

Now I'm in bed and my eyeballs itch with tiredness and I'm wondering WTAF is up with this weird relationship between sleep deprivation and over-eating; I've just cleaned my teeth and all I can think about is a) sleep b) Percy Pigs c) those M&S chocolate salted pretzel lump things. I just think tired and thin might be easier than tired and fat, but I can't stop eating crap, honestly I can't...

Busy, I'm with you! I can't stop eating. Or craving booze. I just want tobe drunk, feel warm and fuzzy and SLEEP. Urgh

Ds2 awake and dh up trying to shhhh pat him. I know I'm going to have to schlep up in a sec as he wants boobs.

Aaaaaaaaaargh

My daughter was sleeping 7-7 before the 4 month sleep regression. Sadly for us it was a permeanent change in sleep patterns. It did get better, but never went back to how she slept as a newborn. They are more alert and find it much harder to settle. With dd we sleep trained eventually and now she will sleep through till 5/6 when she's not teething/ill etc. But... and here is the depressing part... she is 22months.
I'm expecting dc2 and this time I'll make sure I remember that the first 4 months don't really count.

Can I join the suffering please?

DD is 15 weeks and has never been a good sleeper, on an average night she can sleep 3-4 hours but now it's every 1.5 to 2 hours! Normally she sleeps well from 7pm to 10pm but tonight she woke up at 8 and wouldn't settle with her dummy like she usually would. Instead I had to feed her and I'm utterly sick

I just want one night where I don't end up a sobbing mess because she just constantly wants to feed!

Tarik's, this is also my second and having had a dopey time with ds1 I was sort of expecting it. But forgot how brutal it can be. Esp when you aren't able to have the catch up naps in the day .

Also, ds2 was much better early on and so I'd stupidly hoped it would be better.

He's literally just had three sucks of boob and he's back to sleep. Annoying thing us that he can self settle beautifully and so I cannot fathom what's so fantastic about my saggy boobs?!?

Here's the science bit. At 4 months sleep changes and becomes more adult like with noticeable light and deep phases of sleep. If your baby cannot self sooth and has an association such as feeding to sleep, motion (rocking, pram) this will become apparent in the light phases.

At 4 months more extreme sleep training can't be understood by most babies as they don't know that if they can't see you, you're not there. You can however encourage self soothing by using shh-pat or pick up put down.

In addition to using shh-pat or pupd, you can also work to prevent overtiredness by encouraging naps after 90-105 minutes awake. Cat naps are very common so 4-5 naps per day is normal.

Ok, so can you talk to me about shh--pat? As he's been such a good sleeper to date, he's always suckled to sleep. What's the best way to teach him shh-pat? Is this going to be a variation on 'put-him-in-the-cot-partially-awake'? Is the goal that he'll be able to self soothe as a result so ill need to go in less frequently? Or do you end up shh-patting as frequently as just feeding (in which case why not just stick a boob in?).

Yes folks, I'm up feeding again. Ill check in again at the next wake when I may be considerably less chirpy and significantly more sweary

Sorry, this slightly off-topic, but while I'm here...just come back to bed to find OH asleep IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED. AGAIN. I get that he doesn't have to wake when I do, but his OSTENTATIOUS enjoyment of sleep is getting on my fucking nerves.

Oh look. I'm fucking sweary again

SHhh-pat is a gradual process that will result in putting them into their cot wide awake, them rolling over and going to sleep.

You have to start by not feeding or rocking to sleep any more. With the fed to sleep babies you should move it earlier on in the bedtime routine so bath if you do that (we didn't every night due to dry skin), pjs, milk, sleeping bag (if used), quick book and then start to settle.

To begin with we just held him, patted his bum and made the shhing sound. It is meant to replicate how a heartbeat sounds inside of you. Just persevere with this and they should go to sleep eventually. Make sure you start the bedtime routine early enough so that they are not overtired when you try and soothe them to sleep.

When this becomes easy, you progress to putting them down in their cot and shh patting them there. The time it takes to shh-pat them in their cot should reduce and reduce until they're so used to the routine of it that they eventually just go to sleep. It should take about 2 weeks.

With regards to feeding at night, its best to set a time limit of say 5 hours from bedtime. Its realistic for a baby at 4 months to still want to feed twice at night. If they wake before 5 hours, or however long you think they should be going between night feeds then settle them via shh-pat instead.

If you choose to feed to sleep and it becomes a negative sleep association then your baby will want to be fed back to sleep everytime they wake up. This will pass on its own but I always felt better doing something to tackle it rather than just accepting it (I NEED sleep!)

I hope this helps if it is something you're interested in.

My ds can self settle, which makes this all even more illogical.

He actually smiles at me when I put him down at 7.30pm and goes off without a peep. And he's put down awake again in the night too.

We've just got in to a pattern of him expecting boob every time he wakes up.

Tonight we're getting tough. Boob at 7, dream feed at 10 if he's not woken before then and then no more milk until 4am. I neeeeed to get him back to just one feed. If he wants to wake more then fine, but DH ha said he'll look after it all.

Wish us luck! Not expecting a miracle but we'll see if anything changes over the next week or so

There is a huge growth spurt at 17 weeks that people often confuse with the need for food. It should pass within a couple of weeks though.

Good luck little

Thanks Can't. Last Boob to sleep tonight (as feel indeed to plan ahead a bit) and then tomorrow we'll be away.

I really don't remember this with DS1, and this ones been a dream so far, so I'm a bit unprepared!

Meant to say; good luck everyone!

I am blatently going to curse this...but things seem to be on the up!

New regime is working and last night DS went to bed at 7.30, dreamfeed at 10 and then didn't wake up until 6am .

Night before was also pretty good.

One constant on both nights was some baby rice (first time on friday) at 5pm along with a few oz of formula. Wasn't planning to wean him early, but think i'm going to stick with this rice business for as long as it works.

I am flabbergasted TBH and know that it'll prob go to shit again now I've dared to write this!