14 mo night waking: please tell me it gets better!

[Maltakano]

My dd is 14mo and has always been a good sleeper, very good at settling when she was small, only waking for a feed etc. In the last 3 months she has woken once, sometimes twice most nights. We have always fed her to sleep when she wakes in the night, but lately she doesn't settle afterwards and continues to cry and thrash around.

I know it's probably something to do with us still feeding her at night, but it's the only way that has ever worked. She won't be rocked, or come into bed with us. Last night it got to the point that she was running around our bedroom at 2am after waking at 1145, having read "Dear Zoo" A HUNDRED TIMES to calm her down.

I think it is made worse by the fact that I find it so nightmarish. I HATE being up during the night when I should be sleeping. I had terrible PND and it reminds me of that dark place.

I feel like my DP and I don't cope well with difficult situations in general, and with this one, we are total drama queens and always end up arguing, despairing that "this can't go on!" Etc. i know it's stupid, but it seems like everyone else can cope and we are running screaming for the the hills whenever our baby wakes.

We can always laugh about it in the morning, but my gosh no one told me it was going to be this hard.

So, I guess I am looking for tips with coping with being up during the night, and also, HELP ME to stop having hissy fits when my baby acts like a baby.

You need a mantra to snap out of the hissing etc. if you're doing it in front of her then she can hear you and will pick up on your anxiety/anger etc. this may well make her wakings worse.

Do you bottle or breast feed? Has something changed since she started waking? I'm just wondering - eg have you started on cows milk a few months ago as this might be the problem.

I would do what works to get her back to sleep. Of that means a feed then do it.

Then work on slowly reducing feeds - reduce by an ounce at a time every other night. Split the night into two so you do one half of the night and DH does the other. No point you both being up.

I feel your pain - I used to get almost panicky dealing with night wakings with my second as reminded me of all the time I spent in the dark with my first!!

Thanks creature, she is bottle fed, and she has started on cow's milk lately. I have noticed she is more farty.

I think doing what it takes to get her back to sleep is probably the best thing. I had that philosophy up until she was one, then everyone seems to say that they shouldn't need milk at night after that magical date. I might try less milk tonight.

When I'm up at night, I usually think about what I am going to wear the next day, what dd will wear, what we are doing tomorrow. Then I move on to thinking about people all over the world, and what they are doing right now. It makes me calm very quickly.

Can you switch back to formula? For a week to see if it helps her sleep? My ds could never tolerate cows milk but is fine with yoghurt and cheese. It is hard on the stomach.

That sounds like a plan!