Can I teach my 4.5 month old to self settle?

[NoTeaForMe]

Is it possible? Has anyone tried the pick up put down technique? Did it work? Is there a lot more to it than simply picking her up if she cries, and putting her down once she stops? Is it worth buying the book? Anyone tried anything else?

Through the night I'm just instantly feeding her when she wakes...when do I stop this and try and re-settle her first? I'm just presuming she's waking to feed at this age?

She's my second but I didn't really do any sleep training with my eldest and was rocking her to sleep for naps until she was around 14months. I can't do that again!

Anyone?

I think research just came out to say any sleep training before 6 months makes no long term difference to how babies sleep. I don't have the link, sorry. I think it was posted on another thread - or you could try the Isis website to see if its mentioned there.

hi noteaforme, I also have a 4.5month old DS and I have tried the p.u.p.d technique. it didn't work for us. DS just go it so wound up I had to stop each time. in the nights I Judge by how long he has been asleep if he needs a feed, if it hasn't been very long I will try and settle before feeding, sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't. I know its no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone

I started teaching DD to self-settle at just over 5 months. I stopped letting her fall asleep at bedtime feed by keeping lights on and not zipping her into sleeping bag until after feed. Sometimes this involved waking her up if she had dropped off on boob. Then I read her a story, put her in crib and did sshh-pat (or in our case, soothing words and gently rubbing her chest/ shoulders). I'd only do that if she was genuinely upset, if she was just doing her wind-down shouty singing raspberry blowing thing I'd sit out of sight. It took about a week of me having to sit in room, occasionally soothing her, for about 45 mins until she got the hang of it. Now, three weeks on, I can put her in cot awake, leave room and she's asleep within about 15 mins. I usually have to pop in once or twice very quickly to say 'it's ok' and rub her chest.

There have been a few hiccough, due to teething or possibly the 26-week cognitive leap, where she's refused to go to bed and I've had to feed her to sleep or my DH rocked her - but that's only happened twice.

Over those three weeks she's gone from waking up to feed between 3 & 6 times a night to, touch wood, only waking once. But I think that's also in part due to moving her to own room. Of course it could all go tits up again...

I just had an instinct DD was ready to learn to self-settle when I started helping her. Feeding to sleep was getting consistently successful and the night wakings were making me lose my mind.

Absolutely possible with SOME 4.5 month-ers - my sister's kids were all sleeping by themselves at this age, as are a few from my mothers group.

We, on the other hand, tried her methods but with no success and are still going with the patented 'whatever-the-fuck-it-takes' method of parenting to sleep at nearly 6 months.

I think it depends a lot on the baby. We are making some headway with the help of the No Cry Sleep Solution, though!

That last para should read 'feeding to sleep was getting consistently less successful!

My second is 10 months and I started around that age, perhaps even a bit earlier. I felt like you that this time I wanted to do things a bit differently.

He was in a co-sleeper cot so initially I fed him to sleep sat on the bed then put him in his cot. If he stirred I kept my arm over him till he was fast asleep.

I initially started to take him off the boob before he was asleep but let him fall asleep on me with his dummy. Then after a few days I laid him down awake in his cot but kept my hand on his tummy/cuddled him. After a while again I took the hand away but stayed in the room till he was asleep (me sat on the bed, him in his co sleeper).

Then one night my oh called me downstairs for something - I went back up and he was asleep.

The whole thing was quite gradual but there were no tears. It got him going to bed by himself.

Good luck

We also had Ewan the Dream Sheep playing throughout it all.

We started around this age using stuff from the No Cry Sleep solution - gradually going from put down asleep, to put down very very drowsy etc. It helped that we had a cast-iron bedtime routine so she knew what the deal was - bath, feed, sleep. One night I put her down drowsy but she woke up properly - I sat there in the dark and just left her to it, and within 10mins she was asleep. Now (nearly 7 months) we do bath, feed, book, sleep. I hang around for a minute or two once I've turned the light out whilst she rolls around getting comfy but I can generally leave her to it and she'll be asleep within 10mins or so.