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8MO is an awful, awful sleeper and I just can't cope any more

8 replies

snottagecheese · 08/10/2013 00:15

Every night is different but equally bad. He hasn't slept for more than 3 hours at a time in months, and it's usually more like 2 or even 1, or sometimes half an hour between wakings. Often he screams, sometimes for an hour or two at a time. I don't think he's hungry but I do usually feed him. Sometimes that doesn't help, he stays awake afterwards and cries. Sometimes he refuses a feed and cries anyway. He's not too hot or too cold, doesn't have reflux or any intolerances, he just does. Not. Sleep.

His sister was the same and only really settled down when she was 3, nearly 4. We tried everything with her and in the end nothing really worked except time. I honestly thought that this time round it would be better. It's not. So far it's worse. I cannot believe we are back here again, and I just don't know how we can go through it all a second time. I am exhausted, irritable, tearful, horrible. His naps are awful too - he did 15 mins at 10.30am, then 30 mins at 1.15pm, then refused any more sleep
until bedtime, when he screamed because he was overtired. This evening he was awake and screaming from 9.30pm till 11.30pm. When I wasn't in with him trying to settle him (DH and I took turns) I sat on the floor and cried...

OP posts:
catellington · 08/10/2013 00:43

Hi, afraid I don't have the answer, but I can sympathise as I have a sleep refusing nearly 8 mo DD. I would describe any night where there is a stretch of at least 4 hours a good night - that's probably about once a week.

Our strategy is to wait it out but it is exhausting and I can't imagine how it is with another dc too!

LadyMetroland · 08/10/2013 01:18

Hate to say it but have you thought about controlled crying?

My 6mth ds is a bad sleeper - 3hrs is his max sleep time at night - but in my case I think it's because he's hungry as he's bad at concentrating on feeding during the day.

Your case sounds awful and if neither of you are happy and he's crying anyway then I would do cc as it can work wonders.

SockywockyWOOOOOdah · 08/10/2013 02:43

How are you feeding?

catellington · 08/10/2013 04:47

Hi op are you there?

We did have a phase of every hour or half hour, with settling taking the whole time in between. One night it did suddenly turn a corner though to be every two to four hours.

I survived by rewarding myself with chocolates after every waky up...helped me stay awake too. And couldn't avoid some co sleeping ( still do sometimes now if I'm struggling to keep eyes open). Also put travel cot up in our room so at least when she wouldn't settle I didn't have to walk down hall each time

Lady metro land did you do cc then? Or are you thinking about it? I can't do it, I think I'm a bit soft, but especially because dd is ebf and we are apart in the day so she makes up feeds at night, and I don't want her to go without food until she's better established on solids. But I can understand why you might consider it if things are unbearable.

Anjou · 08/10/2013 04:58

Poor you. My heart goes out to you. There could be any number of reasons for your little ones poor sleep, but it sounds like you've gone through the mill with DC1 already & have tried all sorts. It probably feels worse this time as you're thinking "Jesus, what of this goes on for years as it did with DC1".

Friends of mine - at the end of their tether- consulted The Sleep Lady. Both were a little wary, as they thought it might be a bit new-age crystals and all that but they both say it was the best thing they ever did. She's based in Scotland but apparently gives amazing advice (that works) over the phone too. If you've tried everything else, maybe give it a go?

Good luck. x

Cantthinkofafrigginname · 08/10/2013 17:46

Have you tried a sling for day naps? My lo is like that at night if overtired.

She naps best in a sling. More naps = better sleep.

We also co sleep.

Cantthinkofafrigginname · 08/10/2013 17:48

Put lo into sling 2 hours after waking. Might not fall asleep instantly but some babies need a good wind down.

SoYo · 10/10/2013 14:50

OP my DD is exactly the same and I am totally broken. I'm starting gradual retreat tonight. I'll let you know how it goes. I can't do CC and I still feel awful that I'm going to leave her lying there crying but at least I'll be in the room and she won't be alone and something has to give for us to carry on.

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