Gradual retreat experts this way please

[Lowesy]

As I sit her MNing in the dark waiting for my 2.4yo DD to fall asleep in MY bed it dawns on me that this is no longer sustainable. I brought her in, tired, at 8pm, yet here I am with an awake but overtired little girl who will not give in and sleep. I'm 20 weeks pregnant too and just need her sleep sorted now, before I totally lose it.

By way of background, she has never slept well, had reflux as a tiny baby, we sort of fell into co-sleeping by way of necessity. Since her reflux resolved, I've tried various approaches to getting her to sleep a) without a 2 hour bloody performance just to get her to drop off and b) to get her to stay the hell asleep and if she really has to wake up, it not be for 2 hours at a time. Which leads me to gradual retreat!

I've read various things so have a basic idea on how to proceed with it, but I need to canvass opinion on whether I should start gradual retreat with her in her cot bed in my room, or just move her and her cot bed into her room and be done with it. Also, if (more like when) she's getting up/bouncing on the bed etc etc, do you interact? Are you meant to physically lay them down again? Am sure I'll think of plenty more questions because it seems I'm utterly outsmarted by a (freakishly persistent) 2yo atm.

TIA she's finally dropped off now so I'm going to try and sleep myself (once I'm not so wound up!) Will reply tomorrow.

I am definitely NOT an expert and DD is sleeping right beside me in my bed as I type, but someone linked to this thread a couple of weeks ago and I bookmarked it.

I tried last week but only got as far as the large glass of wine bit so will try again when I am feeling brave.

I'd go full force in her cot bed in her room. Stay with her, stroke her, sing to her whatever it takes then reduce your interaction over a period of time. We did it successfully with DS and now have a 7.30pm bedtime and 7.30ish waketime with no night wakings.

I'd go straight into the cotbed. We're midway through an abandoned gradual retreat. Abandoned in a good way I hasten to add.

Started feeding to sleep and carrying her through. Then fed until nearly asleep with cup of EBM to top-up once she was weaning from the boobs. Then lying next to her, then lying on the floor next to her. Then sitting nearby. I had moved to sitting near the door, but now I give her a cuddle and read her a story with me sitting in between her bed and the door, and she usually falls asleep while listening.

If she's wild we talk calmly, ask her to lie down and cuddle teddy. Put your head on the pillow, it's time for storytime. If she's still wild I threaten to withhold the story but it's never come to that. If she's not too tired it sometimes is a long story before she shuts her eyes but I'm getting better at judging that!

Haven't cracked the whole staying asleep malarkey - she co-sleeps with us once she wakes in the night...