8 w.o screams before each nap. It's dragging me down :(

[duende]

I have an 8 week old DD. She is generally tired an hour after waking up, she goes from smiling to whinging in 3 seconds and to screaming in another 5. She is a nightmare to get to sleep, we swaddle her, put some white noise on and either rock her in the pram (on bumpy kitchen tiles...) or rock her in our arms. She still screams and it takes between 10 and 20 mins for her to drop off, unless she is overtired then it's longer.
She can then sleep anywhere between 20 mins and 3 hours.
My main problem is that she will not settle in the pram outside, she screams on the the school run if she's tired and just works herself up, screams in the car seat, etc. I want to cry every time I read on mumsnet about how "portable babies are", mine isn't. Whatever we are doing and wherever we are, she will start screaming an hour after waking up.
I find it very stressful to go anywhere with her (school run, doctors, shops,etc)
She has never fallen asleep by herself since she was 2 weeks old.
I feel the house is either filled with screams or white noise and I'm forever asking my 4 year old to be quiet.
I'm not enjoying it at the moment, at all :(

I hear ya! Ours was the same. We tried lots of different things (and forever had people helpfully suggesting that it was clearly because we weren't doing xyz and we had better be careful if we ever wanted a sleeping baby). If I was going to make a suggestion I would say maybe thinking about trying a sling or baby carrier (our friends have a nice 'sling' that wraps baby against mums skin, I would totally have given that a go if I had seen it at the time, DH prefers a carrier) as maybe she is one that will feel more secure next to you. Otherwise I will just say that what you are doing is fine, and some babies are just more difficult than others, people who have only had easy babies have no conception I think!!! It feels like it goes on forever but just remember that one day, no matter what you try, it will be better. It might be quite slow, but she will learn to sleep happily on her own and she will feel better about the world. DS still doesn't sleep well now, but the improvement has been massive and we can cope with the way he is now. It felt like forever, but with hindsight it wasn't and he is lovely to be with now, enjoy all the time we spend together. You will get there!!

nigglenaggle thanks for replying. She very rarely falls asleep in the sling :(
How old is your DS and when did his sleep start improving?
She slept for 3 hours this morning, so she does have some good naps it's the difficulty in falling asleep that frustrates me :(

Poor you. Sounds rough. My 6 mo was a crap napper - would only sleep in sling or on us, the latter involving vigorous bouncing, rocking and jiggling of a usually screaming baby. She wouldn't go in the pram at all. The sling saved us, but I see it doesn't work for you. Do you have a nice stretchy wrap sling? Those are better for little ones than a carrier like the Bjorn or Ergo.

Otherwise just ride it out! Things got much much better for us around 3.5 months, when I switched pram to buggy set-up (with a fleecy liner to keep her cosy). Mage started napping in the pram then and shortly afterwards in her cot.

Good luck!

It sounds like she's napping too late. So get her all ready in the sling 45 mins after being awake, not leaving it til an hour. Also I wouldn't worry about her not falling sleep by herself - it's quite unusual for little babies to do that anyway.

What sling do you have? I found a sling/dummy combo to really help but had to be careful not to overdress in a sling and make sure they were winded before they went in especially if just after a feed.

There were little improvements every 3mths or so. At 3mths we felt we'd made significant improvements, at 6 and 9mths, but the real watershed came after a year. One piece of advice I feel is true is work on the naps first - if you can get them napping well then the rest comes and our biggest breakthrough did come after we changed what we were doing with naps - evening sleep then improved as well. For us it was that we were doing too much 'policing' of naps and waking him up so he'd be tired later - once we started leaving him to it things got much better. But the opposite could equally be true for you - it's what works for you child. Another thing we found which won't be relevant to you yet but might help later was that wind was our enemy - switching from a bottle to a sippy cup produced a massive improvement in sleep, also watching his diet carefully so he doesn't get digestive upsets means we're more likely to get a good night. If you think she doesn't cope well with lots of stimulation then it's probably worth seeing if you can engineer a week or so of calm, enlist friends and family to shop and run errands for you and use the time to get her routine sorted. Lots of it can be a viscious cycle - because she isn't sleeping she is tired and less able to cope, which means she doesn't sleep etc. Don't worry about asking, they have probably noticed how stressed you are and would love to help but just don't know how.

And don't expect too much from yourself, much of what is happening will take time to change - be pleased with small improvements

The sling I have is a moby style one. She has fallen asleep in it twice. We both get really hot and sweaty, even if just wearing a layer each.
She is often sick in it too.
She won't take a dummy, I have bought 6 (!) different ones :/
It's not that she doesn't nap, in fact she usually gets a good amount of sleep during the day (apart from fussy, unsettled days), she is asleep now and has been for 2 hours. (I cuddled her and rocked her to sleep and she is now in her pram in the kitchen listening to a white noise app ;))
It's the screaming before falling asleep and the fact that she will not easily fall asleep outside of the house.
Am I expecting to much at this age? Will she chill out a bit with time?

Mine's a great sleeper but will scream before going to sleep, especially if we are out on the go!

I just try and smile! I find when I get stressed about it, it makes her even worse. Catch 22! Trust me, just laugh about it (I know, I know it's hard) and don't worry too much about it.

Yes I think its common. They just don't get that the reason they feel rubbish is they need to sleep!! And some just won't fall asleep outside the house, not sure thats something you can necessarily change.

Mine was the same. Before Every sleep he would scream for at least 30 mins no matter what we did. So demoralising! Esp at 3am...when it took an hour and a half to get him back to. Sleep...but now he is 12 weeks and over the last ten days has much improved. I dreamed of creating a rod for my back by feeding to sleep ! I did try putting him down for naps so much earlier and whether that made a difference or whether it was just an age thing I don't know?!
Good luck.

mrsmellow I know what you mean! I often say I wish she wanted to nurse to sleep. She is not too bad after night feeds (touch wood!) it is naps and night time. I'm taking her to be weighed today and I know that she will get tired whilst there and then scream there and all the way back in the pram. Similar happens regularly on the school run.

You've given me hope, thanks. So how soon after waking do you put your DS down for a nap?

45 mins in the morning. Then a bit longer in the afternoon. But when his eyes glaze slightly and he is less interactive and in my baby looks predominantly to the left! Or a yawn. He will fall asleep in the carrier if I catch the right time. I spent hours walking to sleep in buggy and carrier but can now get him to nap in cot during day. But only in mornings. Afternoon is more tricky! Swaddled white noise dim/dark swaying in my arms...