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Original poster

Please help, DD not sleeping through since July and we are shattered...

16 replies

CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 11:21

DD will be 4 in December. Since 18 weeks old she has been a fantastic sleeper, sleeping from at least 7pm until 7am and not waking.

In July she had a nasty virus and ever since then she has been a nightmare. She wakes around 5am and comes in to our room. We take her back to bed, but after 10 minutes she will just run back in to us, sometimes up to 6-7 more times until it's time to get up.

I have tried everything I can think of, not speaking to her, telling her to go back to bed on her own, telling her I am cross etc
I have now started trying consequences - she hasn't been allowed to watch CBeebies before Playschool the last two mornings, and I have taken her favourite toy away today ( have warned her this will happen if she doesn't stay in her bed).

Nothing is working, and I feel cruel and nasty about the last bit but DH and I are exhausted. I'm dizzy and lightheaded this morning because I'm so so tired.
Sorry this is so long, but I just don't know what to do anymore Sad

OP posts:
louloutheshamed · 04/10/2013 11:49

I would still class getting up at 5 as sleeping through. What time is time to get up? Im on
Mat leave now but when at work I get up at 6 anyway. Can't she just cuddle in with you for an hour or two?

Just to put things in perspective I was up between 1 and 4 feeding my baby then my toddler woke up at 5.15!

Sorry that wasn't very helpful at all!!

pootlebug · 04/10/2013 11:58

Will she go back to sleep if she stays in your bed with you? Or is she wide awake for the day?

Does she seem tired? Maybe she just doesn't need as much sleep as she used to. Could you try a later bedtime (gradually....move it by 5-10 minutes per night)?

Like the previous poster, children sleeping from 7pm til 5am sounds bloody brilliant to me I'm afraid.

Elasticsong · 04/10/2013 11:59

In our house, any time after 5 is a fair time to get up. My 6yo dd has always been an early riser, whatever we did and it looks as if our 9mth old is following her sister's lead and, on top of that, is awake for nearly 2 hrs at night!

You could try a Gro Clock... Didn't work for my dd but you may have more luck.

bundaberg · 04/10/2013 12:06

i would just let her snuggle down in your bed... she might fall asleep again and at least you can doze/sleep until a reasonable time

Original poster
CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 12:13

About 7am loulou although I appreciate that is probably a lie in for some families.
If she stays in our bed, she fidgets, sings, jumps about etc and then falls back to sleep about 6.30am
By 4pm she is tired most days and asking to go to bed. Sometimes she has a nap around 2ish but she is awful to wake up, and then she also messes around at bedtime because she isn't tired.

OP posts:
steppemum · 04/10/2013 12:16

well, I am with op, 5 am is too early for us. We generally have taught ours, that 7 am is getting up time. If they wake up before that, they can play QUIETLY in their room, or read until 7. Dd2 at 4 used to come in and give me a quick hello and then slip back to her room to play, she normally wakes 6:30 - 7. If she woke at 5 I would tell her it is still sleep time and take her back to her bed (but I know she didn't always go back to sleep, sometimes she played)

My SIL had one of hers do exactly as you describe. She went to a sleep clinic and this is what they suggested:

have a sleep fairy light. The light (a small lamp/nightlight) is on the landing and is on a timer. If she gets up and light is still on, then it is sleep time. if the light is off, it is getting up time and she can come in to Mummy. If she stayed in her room until light went off, the sleep fairy left her a small gift. The light was set for about 20 minutes after normal waking, and then after 3 days staying in until then, 20 minutes later and so on.
It sounds very simple but her dd totally bought into it and it got her back to sleeping through til 7 ish.

steppemum · 04/10/2013 12:19

just seen that she is asleep by 7. I think at 4 she may not need 12 hours, so you might need to accept either slightly later bedtime or 6:30 wake up, but 5 am is pretty early for a kid who used to sleep through. Once she starts school she will need the full 12 hours again!

Original poster
CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 12:50

She started Playschool 5 days a week after the summer, so I thought things might improve then, as she clearly is very tired some days. The sleep fairy light could be a good idea though, will look in to that, and maybe put her to bed a bit later. See if that helps.

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 04/10/2013 12:58

I think saying it is normal to start the day at 5am with a child older than 2 years is one of those things that only happens on mumsnet (like dressing your dd only in clothes from the boys section).I don't think it's an acceptable time to get up, 7 am is acceptable.
I don't have any advice op but I would stick with trying to get her to sleep later not just accept it.

steppemum · 04/10/2013 15:27

another alternative is the clock that wakes up There are a variety if different ones, we had a rabbit clock where the rabbit face was asleep til 7 and then woke up.

Disadvantage is that the wake up action makes a big click which wakes the child up if they are asleep, so it is hard to do a 5:30, then 6:00, then 6:30 thing to wean her back. With ds we put it outside the door for this reason.

Do persevere, dd2 did it for a while and she did eventually go back, we just kept putting her back in her bedroom. The darker mornings should help

Original poster
CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 18:50

Thanks for the ideas steppemum.
If she wasn't so tired, then I would suck it up and begrudgingly accept it, but it's frustrating when she is really tired in the afternoons because of it. Also because she has been such a great sleeper, it's a massive shock to the system!

OP posts:
Original poster
CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 18:51

Yes, Soontobesix, 5am is still nighttime for me Grin

OP posts:
CreatureRetorts · 04/10/2013 21:00

She's probably overtired. Plus it's cold in the mornings now. Is she potty trained? Sometimes my ds wakes up at that time but if I get him on the potty at around my bedtime he can sleep longer.
Also I find if ds is asleep by 6.30pm, he sleeps longer.

Original poster
CuppaTeaForTheBigFella · 04/10/2013 21:41

Creature, yes maybe she is...Perhaps I shouldn't purposely keep her up until 7pm if she is that tired?!
She is still in a cot bed at the moment, but we are buying her a new bed next month, so I'm hoping that will make a difference. More room, and a nice bigger, thicker duvet should help surely Wink
She is dry, night and day, and tbh she doesn't go straight to the loo when she wakes up anyway (unlike me!)

OP posts:
CreatureRetorts · 04/10/2013 21:45

No get her asleep by half 6!

My ds doesn't go to the loo straight away either but I think once he's awake at 5 a full bladder stops him settling.

steppemum · 04/10/2013 23:00

creature may be right about cold too. It has reminded me that we got dd2 to stay asleep (at one point) by making her warmer. I had forgotten that. She slipped out of her duvet by morning and woke because she was cold.
We got a large fleece and tucked it over the top of her duvet, once she was alseep we tucked it in firmly under the mattress, so she stayed snuggled, that did work well.

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