Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Why does lo sleep for dad??

10 replies

lem31 · 04/10/2013 08:01

It's very unfair, but ds wakes every half hour from around 1 when I do the night shift, but sleeps almost straight through when Dh does it. I thought it was chance, but its literally every time. Why??? What am I doing wrong? I spend all night putting him back in his cot. But he just wakes up again...

OP posts:
DontCallMeDaughter · 04/10/2013 08:06

Its not quite the same but we realised that if I go in to settle DD it generally makes her more agitated but if DH goes in, she'll settle back to sleep quickly... I think its because she loves me more Grin.

The answer is that he should always do the night shift... if your dc sleeps for him, then he should do it all of the time. DD is 20mo now so she's pretty good overnight, but if she does wake up, DH is always the one to go in to her, there's no point me going.

Original poster
lem31 · 04/10/2013 09:43

I wish...taken me 4 months to negotiate 2 nights a week!

OP posts:
Original poster
lem31 · 05/10/2013 05:49

Seriously, this in insane. Dh did night shift Thursday - 1 wake up between 7 and 6. I did night shift last night and had 6 wake ups, eventually giving up at 5 am. I put him back in his cot, don't talk or play, just settle him and straight back down. He is ff so its not about food.
What is it? This is driving me insane. More importantly, how do I stop it???

OP posts:
123bucklemyshoe · 05/10/2013 05:52

Are you bf?

Longtalljosie · 05/10/2013 05:58

She's not... Does your DH do precisely the same sort of settling you do?

123bucklemyshoe · 05/10/2013 06:09

Sorry missed that....

Longtalljosie · 05/10/2013 06:53

It was my first thought too though. And the reason I can never bloody well settle DD without a feed...

nextphase · 05/10/2013 07:05

whispers are you sure lo is actually waking less, and instead DH isn't waking quite as quickly, and ds is resettling back to sleep before anyone gets out of bed?

DH used to pack me off to bed as soon as we had got DS1 down, and then do all wakes til about 12 (later at weekends, he's a night owl), and then come to bed. I did everything else, including the crazy o'clock starts.

Does DS sleep better if DH does the bedtime send to sleep?

It WILL get better, and you CAN survive this.

heidihole · 05/10/2013 07:15

Are you sure it's not just DH not racing thru as fast as you do so DS has a chance to self settle?

Original poster
lem31 · 05/10/2013 13:14

He is still in the same room as me and I stay in the room when Dh does the night shift so I'd still be woken up. He goes to sleep better when I settle him and doesn't get upset. It's just after his night feed, he wakes constantly the rest of the night. I was thinking it was coincidence, but there is only so long it can be coincidence!
He has bad reflux that is causing him problems ATM, so I put it down to him needing comfort as he is uncomfortable, but if he can sleep with Dh, surely he can with me too?!
I do everything the same pretty much. Settle, back down in cot. No lights on, interaction etc. I try to settle him in his cot first and only pick him up if it doesn't work. I offer him more food 3 hours after his first feed if he wakes, but he doesn't want it.
Cos of his reflux I need to hold him upright for half an hour after feeding, but Dh does that too.
Only thing I can think is that for a few nights I co slept with him as I couldn't get him to settle with his reflux. But I don't do that anymore and I'd have thought after a few nights he would get the message....?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page