Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Is this safe co sleeping and if not how can I make it safer?

30 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:15

DD (7m) has been early waking for a few weeks.

Last week I cracked and got her out of cot and onto bed with me at 5am. I have been too scared to do even a minute of co sleeping until then as I am a nerdy rule follower and anyway just didnt feel comfortable.

So, is my 'method' safe?

It is just me and DD, DH goes off downstairs as soon as I get her out of cot and he has another hour nap on the sofa.

I remove all pillows except for the one I have my head on.

I sleep on top of the duvet with her, not beneath it, she is still in her sleep bag and I put a cellular blanket over us both.

We have an hour, maximum two, this way.

Is this as safe as I can be with her?

She is a big 7mo so I feel safer than I would have done whn she was smaller but of course she is more mobile. I feel I would wake if she were about to roll (plus we are slap in middle of a kingsize bed) but my mum thinks I am mad and keeps telling me DD WILL roll off. :(

Am I mad or does it sound safe?

Anything else I can do?

The early mining waking is just killing me otherwise, I cannot spend any more nights leaning over her cot for up to an hour a time trying to get her to go back to sleep when I know she will sleep again in five mins if I put her in with me.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Thewhitelady · 01/10/2013 21:22

I had to cosleep for the first months of my dd's life and this is how we did it after following advice from health visitors etc. If you are really worried you can buy some sort of railings you can attach to your bed so that she won't fall off. I think that it is almost impossible you won't notice first though.

stargirl1701 · 01/10/2013 21:28

Remove the duvet from the bed. Does she need a sleeping bag as well as the blanket? Your body heat will keep her warm. It would be better to use a rolled up cellular blanket rather than a pillow.

Co-sleeping saved my mental health!

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:28

Thanks white lady!
I tend to notice every little movement so I really would be amazed if she did roll without me knowing... But obviously it's not impossible.

I think my other concern is that it is potentially habit forming (for me as well as her!) but I just don't know how to cope any other way atm, she stirs several times a night and is back on two night feeds again so my sleep is a disaster zone and I am a wreck! I have weighed up the negatives of the lack of sleep and this is the best solution for us right now...

OP posts:

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:29

Star girl, yep, mental health is what is at stake here! :)
Good advice re the bag, thank you

OP posts:

Greypuddle · 01/10/2013 21:29

Is it the rolling off you're particularly worried about? Try rolling up a bath towel and sticking it under your sheet at the edge as a bumper. I think otherwise she's pretty safe at 7m, isn't she? I don't think you need to worry too much.

hettienne · 01/10/2013 21:30

Sounds fine. Personally I would probably just tuck the duvet in under the other side of the bed so it only covered me and not the baby, or at 7 months maybe just take her out of the sleeping bag and both go under the duvet - but your way is strictly safer.

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:31

Greypuddle, yep, it's the rolling, my mum has put the fear of god in me (but then my mum could look at a carpet and see a death trap from tripping on thin air...)
Thanks v much, could try the 'bumper' idea...

OP posts:

PseudoBadger · 01/10/2013 21:32

Yes remove the duvet so you have a nice flat surface under her head.

Greypuddle · 01/10/2013 21:33

And as for habit-forming, mine co-slept completely from about 4m to 7m and now sleeps virtually all night in a cot bed in his room, without me doing anything particularly magical. I think they can change their habits fast at this age. And it's so lovely waking up to their giggling/hair-tugging/eye-gouging. Honestly, I highly recommend it - just enjoy the sleep.

ilovepicnmix · 01/10/2013 21:34

Re habit forming - my DS is 15 months nearly and I have co slept on occasion. Sometimes for full nights, some times just a few hours, sometimes for days on the trot. No habit, or even rod, has developed with him. Im like you and will bring him in with me rather than sit by his cot if he's not resettling. I'd say not to worry about the habit but get rid of the duvet as that will create extra heat I think.

TravelinColour · 01/10/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:35

Will remove duvet... It's actually a v v thin duvet (super lightweight summer jobbie) so already pretty flat and lump free... But will be using lumpier duvet as it gets colder I guess...

OP posts:

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 01/10/2013 21:35

Can you put the bed against a wall so that there's nowhere for her to roll to?

Greypuddle · 01/10/2013 21:36

Oh, in that case, yes, try the bumper. I did that for a while then bought a railing thing to get a fraction more space. My DS has never rolled out, the big lump.

VoiceofRaisin · 01/10/2013 21:36

Perhaps get a bed rail like this:

www.bambinodirect.co.uk/Safety_1st_Portable_Bed_Rail__35020721/version.asp?refsource=BAadwords&crtag=BA&gclid=COuSzJW-9rkCFXMbtAodb2gAYA

(That was a random google - there are lots to choose from)

They are brilliant and it will also do for when your lo transfers to her own bed.

OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus · 01/10/2013 21:38

My DS was like this from about 6-8 months. If he woke at 5 would refuse to go back in cot after feeding and just scream but would stop immediately if came into bed. In the end I got one of these to prevent rolling www.magicbumpers.com/

I wrapped duvet around my waist firmly, put an extra top on and kept pillow placed so my head was in the end of it.

nickelbabe · 01/10/2013 21:38

we've got the bed against the wall.
dd sleeps above the duvet and me below - pyjamas for you top half.

OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus · 01/10/2013 21:39

To add, with DS anyway it was just a phase and when moved to his own room at. 8 months he rarely came back in afterwards.

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:39

Travelin, no, not bf-ing... It's literally just getting her to GED with me and she goes back out like a light whereas otherwise I am leaning over her cot for ages or caving and taking her out to 'play' at 5.30am nd then she is a wreck all day...

Should add that we keep our room v cool, never more than 18 degrees at that time of am.

Thanks for making me stop worrying about rods for back etc... I have to admit I just love the cosyness... And the extra sleep means I can manage (just) instead of slowly cracking up...

OP posts:

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:41

Oooh, bed rail and bumper look great thank you!

OP posts:

Original poster

emeraldgirl1 · 01/10/2013 21:41

That should have been bed not GED...

OP posts:

Thewhitelady · 01/10/2013 22:13

Tbh now she won't sleep at all with me, I do miss co sleeping a bit. So do enjoy the closeness while it lasts..

BrianTheMole · 01/10/2013 22:23

As others have said, remove the duvet and get a rail. I used to wrap myself in a sheet and keep dc in a baby sleep bag. Only one pillow on the bed for me. Dc used to sleep in the crook of my arm, head positoned at feeding level height, and we were slightly turned towards eachother, but not so much that I could roll on top. That way I knew where dc was and wasn't going to lose them in the bed half asleep when they started rolling. I know its not advised anymore, but I felt really safe with it. You don't tend to fall into a really deep sleep, there is an awareness going on there at some level. But at least you get some rest.

NoComet · 01/10/2013 22:34

Babies who like co-sleeping don't roll.
DD2 (who has fallen out of every bed she's ever had, in ding double ones) never fell out of, or squirmed under the duvet BFing and co-sleeping in the crook of my arm.

She was born before all the current ridiculous fuss and it is a ridiculous fuss.

For parents who don't smoke or drink there is possibly a tiny rise in a tiny risk. The risk is still absolutely tiny.

The risk of you or DP having an accident either in the car or in the home due to being dog tired is probably far higher.

Fazerina · 01/10/2013 23:43

When my DS was a baby, we had his cot next to our bed (kingsize) and our bed next to the wall in the corner of the bedroom so the head of the bed was also against the wall. When DS came in with me in the morning, I would turn sideways on the bed so that DS's whole sleeping space was blocked by me on one side, walls on the other side and head and the cot at his foot so there was no way he could have rolled off the bed. DS was in his grobag and I slept under the duvet, which was tucked in under the mattress. Perhaps you could try something similar?

Flip

1 2