1 year old DD recently stopped breast feeding but refuses to go in the cot and now I have no way of comforting her... Any advice please!!!

[elkeskelter]

My DD turned 1 a couple of weeks ago and I stopped breast feeding 3 nights ago... We are trying to get her to sleep in her cot (which she's never done unless transferred when fast fast asleep). Now she goes completly crazy every time you put her in the cot. When you pick her up she doesn't calm down unless you leave the room and distract her. I have tried comforting her, rocking her, singing to her, putting her in the push chair but she just goes proper nuts. We have tried pick up pick down but she doesn't calm down when you pick her up. We tried pick up put down when you just go in and comfort every 5/10/15 minutes, no joy. The only blessing is once she is asleep she only wakes up once in the middle of the night (but then it's impossible to get her back to sleep and she screams the house down in the middle of the night). Any advice please? I am lost without the magic boob.... This is the 4th night of not breastfeeding, she is currently asleep in the push chair. At some point we are going to have to move her and then she will wake up again and we will re run the fun... help.

Overly simple perhaps but have you offered a dummy?

Not yet but were trying not to. The old substituting one thing for another. But if this goes on much longer I think I'm going to go down that route...

Well I'd go for it with a dummy. Both mine have had them and only at night (I remove them when they wake and leave them upstairs, bring them down for a wash etc during the day and put them back upstairs), I wouldn't be without them! Never had a problem with them giving them up later on or waking up from them falling out - by the time they fall out they are usually in too deep a sleep to care and when they get older they can pop them back in anyway (you can get glow in the dark ones so dc can find them)!

Worth a try......!

Also, consistency is key... if you want her to sleep in the cot you need to create a bedtime routine that ends there, it won't be helping if she is falling asleep in the pushchair and being transferred to the cot - it's like us falling asleep in bed and waking up somewhere completely different! Bit confusing!

I'd persevere with the pick up put down routine and add a dummy. See what happens.

When i couldnt get my 14 mo to settle in cot i climbed in and gave him a cuddle. Took ages for him to go to sleep but he was quite happy. I just lay and pretended to be asleep myself!

Another thought (and I say this as someone that has never breastfed through choice) maybe it's just easier to keep breastfeeding to sleep for now? If that seems to settle her and you all get some rest surely that's easier and hopefully she will give it up when she's ready?

Also are you sure it's not a hunger thing? What is her food intake like?

Ha ha, I'd love to fall asleep in the cot with her but it's a bit small for the two of us, reckon I'd break it...

She is eating more than she's ever eaten in the day so I'm pleased about that. I'm sure it's comfort not hunger.

I had this with my son when he was about 18 months. He would scream incessantly when he was put to bed. But if he knew where we were he would settle down. So we would take turns to sit on the stairs outside his room and enjoy a good book.

Yes, agree you need a clear routine.
Limit the daytime naps, definitely none after 3 pm.
Have tea or dinner, bath time, snuggley reading.

Stick to a sensible time for bed, perhaps 7 pm. Tell her she is going to bed, you love her. But it is bedtime now and she needs to go to sleep. Have a special light or mobile you can put on. Put her in her bed. THEN you have two options :

Walk away...go downstairs and listen to music through headphones.ignore the screaming OR

Sit right outside her room where you can see her, read a book. Let her know you are there but DO not go back in the room to her.

She will eventually settle. But you need to tough it out for a few days.
Take turns doing it if DP has the patience.

It's hard, good luck.

I think I would breastfeed still at bedtime, but work on giving her a feed til she's sleepy and then putting her down in her cot awake but sleepy. Perhaps cutting the breastfeeding and putting her in the cot awake was too much of a change? I've gradually weaned dd off feeding to sleep and it does happen eventually but it takes a lot of time and patience if you decide not to go down the controlled crying route. If its any help, dd at 15 months has had a noticeable change in attitude to her cot this month and now quite likes going in it at night. I think it tied in with a developmental leap in understanding what things do and she now has more of an understanding that the cot is for sleeping!

My ds was never comforted by anything, ever. I just had to settle him and leave the room, going back after a minute,2 mins etc.